Please reassure me about my unhappy sensitive 6 month old

[Babybel77]

Sorry if this post is a bit all over the place, I've got so much going round my head right now! My baby boy has always been very intense from about 3 weeks old. When he started smiling at 5 weeks he would smile and then instantly start crying. He couldn't tolerate toys or interaction for more than a minute or two and would get very upset. He now at 6 months has had some lovely interaction with me and my husband and will seem to have a few days smiling, giggling etc. He can spend some more time with toys and engaging with us but still gets very overwhelmed and is happiest when we are walking outside. He gets very unsettled when anyone else comes to the house or we go to grandparents houses or otherwise. Some weeks are so bad I have to go to the loo with him on my lap as he won't be put down for a second. To be honest I feel like 80% of the time he is unhappy. He is very interested in food and we have started weaning, but it always, every time, end in hysterical tears because it all gets too much for him. I'm trying so hard to balance encouraging him to gain some confidence and support him when he needs it, but it's really starting to wear me down and it's nearly impossible to spend time with other people. I have a few friends with babies similar age and I end up crying to my husband after seeing them as their babies are so much more content. I'm also starting to worry about his development as my brother's baby who is similar age seems so far ahead in every area and is very sociable. Our cousin has severe autism and is in residential care as his parents couldn't cope with his physical outbursts, I guess it's in the back of my mind about this..... Although he is doing most of what he 'should' like responds to his name, does some babbling although no mama dadada etc yet, makes good eye contact with me and my husband, smiles and laughs on a good day. He is sitting up unaided for a few minutes at a time but still not rolling (has done a handful of times front to back). Writing it all out I actually feel like I'm worrying over nothing much....

His overnight sleep can be ok (one or 2 wake ups for feeds) but is often really bad, waking nearly every hour. People have suggested sleep training but with his temperament as it is it doesn't feel right, although the sleep deprivation is really affecting me mentally and physically.

In terms of his unhappyness, we have investigated reflux, seen a cranial osteo multiple times, sorted out his naps as best as possible, I'm dairy soy and egg free...I take him to rhyme time once a week even though I end up juggling him so he can have some time around other children. Guess I'm just looking to see if anyone has had a baby like this and did it improve with time?

My baby was like this.
Things massively improved when we weaned and he had the physical ability to sit upright all day.

It turns out he had food intolerances and reflux so lying flat and milk being his only food meant that he was often in pain. Once I worked out what he was intolerant to, he was happy and a joy.

Just in case you don't know, intolerances are different to allergies. My son is lactose intolerant but can have a little cheese as he's not allergic to dairy. GP said it's fine to assume a tolerance based on the state of his nappy and his observed behavior. For example if he ate brown bread, he was sick and his nappy was explosive. White bread didn't have that effect on him. By noting his nappy, I was able to avoid foods that didn't agree with him and he was happier.

Sorry to hear this is stressing you out.

Definitely get all health concerns like allergies checked. Otherwise, just know that some babies are more clingy, don’t always like other people, and can get under or over stimulated.

I still have days with mine spent carrying dc everywhere. It’s not a bad sign, but it is hard for us as parents.

Try not to worry, but maybe get a check up with your hv or gp.

Thank you so much for your replies that's interesting about the intolerances, will definitely keep an eye on it all with the weaning. The HV/GP have no concerns about him, it's just me really! And I am prone to worrying

My DD was like this. I think partly for her it was overtiredness as looking back she didn't nap anywhere near enough, but we didn't know any better until we got the Huckleberry app when she was about 5/6 months old, the sweet spot pointers on there helped me with that a bit. Also partly just her spirited personality, she'll be 4 in the summer and is she easier, yes, is she 'easy', NO! She's had 5 tantrums so far today... You're not doing anything wrong, just do whatever works/makes life easier. It gets easier as they get older and more enjoyable. Tbh my eldest wouldnt be too much bother these days if it weren't for the fact that she can't cope with me having to also juggle the baby's needs but that's a different thread...my DD was better out and about at groups and things than at home though, she needed a lot of stimulation and she'd nap better too once she'd had it. We went out every day sometimes twice a day and that helped my sanity too. I do know what you mean though, I was that mum jiggling an unsettled baby around all the time with people either glaring at me or giving me sympathetic looks!

DD was a bit like this, she wouldn't let anyone near her. Settling into nursery was a struggle at nine months - they said she was very extreme in terms of her attachment to me but we got there.

We also got to her first birthday somehow and I remember holding a glass of prosecco in my hand while our family and friends were all having a hold and I was amazed as it had never really happened before.

DD became gradually easier from then on. Whereas some of her content, easy baby pals have become tricky three year olds.

@Babybel77 hey, did you notice any improvement as time went on? Going through the exact same with my little one, been in tears tonight as hes been upset most of the week. At a loss tbh

So sorry for the slow reply! We have all had a winter bug. I'm so sorry you are having a difficult time with your little one. My little boy is now 16 months and he is much, much happier. It took him a while for his digestive system to get used to solid food but once he did I feel like it made a huge difference. He is still dairy and soy free and he gets really unhappy again if he has it. Also things slowly improved with milestones that gave him more autonomy, so from about 7 months when he learned to crawl, it wasn't an overnight shift but now he can walk and say lots of what he wants/make choices he is much happier. He is still very sensitive and needs lots of physical contact and reassurance, but he is so sociable now and loves to spend time with friends and family. Today we went on a walk and he waved at everyone we saw on the way. Hang in there, it feels like such a long time when you are in a difficult patch but I'm sure it will pass for you too. I feel like for me a lot of it was the worry that I was missing something and failing him in some way, but we have muddled through and we are both fine x