What am I doing wrong?

[sinkingshipp]

My DC1 was always a difficult baby, when I got pregnant with DC2 I was seriously worried I wouldn't cope but everyone said no child is the same and if you've had a difficult one you will have an easy one next. DC2 is even more difficult and cries constantly, is never happy, and I'm really struggling mentally. Im clearly doing something wrong to have 2 difficult children who aren't happy and chilled. I see other babies dc2 age and they seem so settled. I feel like im just not a good mum and they would be better off without me. I just don't know what to do anymore. It's embarrassing when im out with my family and they can see im struggling.
Pointless post but any advice will be helpful x

If you are out with your family, why aren't your family helping ?

However, things like "Oh, if you have had a challenging baby the 2nd will be calm" are just platitudes people say for small talk.

You haven't done anything wrong, it's just the way it is sometimes - some babies a livelier than others, some are grumpier than others, some are more placid than others, some sleep well, some feed well, some have reflux, some can't latch on, some are sickly, some are well.

Have you spoken to your health visitor ?
Might they be intolerant to milk (or something else - not sure what ages we are talking)

Do you get a break at all?
Do they go to Nursery or is there someone else (partner perhaps) who you can hand them over to ? It is true that once you are tense babies seem to sense that and find it harder to settle sometimes.

Tell us a bit more about them and I'm sure someone will come along with some advice that is more up to date than I can suggest.

I have no advice, but just want to tell you I have the same problems.. My baby is 11 weeks old and she still screams and holds her breath and I don't know why. When she was 6 weeks old doctor told us that if she won't smile in two weeks it will be worrying (maybe he thought about Asperger?). My baby smiled at me at 10 weeks maybe three times, so now I know she can smile but.... she isn't happy as she doesn't do it.

The worst was when I discovered that my husband can soothe her just by taking her on hands. When I hold her she never settles, I can just give her boob to make her stop crying. I also have thoughts that she will be better without me. If I can't comfort her and she cries in my arms then I could be gone, she would get formuła and will be happier without me.

Hi both.

Thank you for your advice.

I have my partner but she won't settle for him at all so I end up taking over.

She is also 11 weeks.

I think she must have an allergy but I'm not sure what to. The health visitor isn't sure either but I have told her something needs to be done as it's getting me really down.

I don't have much help as everyone works full time. And when I say I get comments from family members it's usually DH mum trying to make out I'm doing a shit job , she did it with DC1 too.

I have eliminated everything with cow milk for 4 weeks, but I didn't see the difference. Does your baby spit up? My spits up a lot, but doctor said ad long as she gains weight he will not prescribe anything.

Do you often meet DH mum? Maybe you should meet less often, your well being is bert important.