10 year old who has soiled herself twice

[briarrose]

Hi can anyone help?/give advice. I sometimes think my DD has got some sort of special need, I can never properly put my finger on it but we seem to have so many behavioural issues with her and she is constantly getting into trouble for something. She is still obsessed with toiler humour and has soiled herself (only slightly) over the past couple of months and thinks it is funny. I have already seen the school nurse about her behaviour once, but she was crap. My partner thinks we should go and talk to the doctor about her (without her) but I find it really hard to put my finger on what it is about her that is causing all the problems. Since she was a baby I picked up that there was just something "not right" about her.
Am I just going insane maybe???

I think I would see someone about this. The soiling itself might be down to something as simple as constipation, but her reaction to it suggests either that she has some developmental problem or that she is so upset about it that she has to play the clown. Either way, there is something about it that doesn't sound right for her age.

Can you still talk to the HV when children are older, if so that is what I would do.

No apparently not, I asked her a while ago and she suggested the school nurse, pointless waste of time. I just don't really know what to say if I do go to a doctor because it's just this and that, an overall behavioural thing, nothing I can really put my finger on. I don't want to jump to conclusions but aspergers seems to put in the odd appearance in DHs family. I love her and accept her for what she is regardless but sometines I worry for her and just want to make things easier for all of us.

well I think you could say to your gp pretty much what you said in your OP. Your ongoing feeling is a very good reason for asking for dfevelopmental tests.

Dose she mix ok with her school friends? how is she with eye contact?

if she's soiled herself slightly it could be leakage - if the colon's blocked with poo the more liquid stuff from further up the gut seeps round the blockage and comes out - also if they're chronically constipated the colon gets so stretched they don't actually get the feeling of needing to poo

when ds2 was chronically constipated his behaviour was awful - he got diagnosed with AS because he was v bizarre, withdrawn, moody, lashing out

it took nearly 3 years to get him sorted out, but he's now a completely different child - still clumsy and eccentric - but back to the sunny disposition he had as a toddler

basically chronic constipation makes them feel so physically awful that it has a massive behavioural effect as well, so I'd definitely get that checked out asap

well TBH i've always worried about her socially, she seems quite awkward around other children, and only seems to mix with the immature or unpopular kids in her class. She has never really had that carefree attitude that other kids seem to have. In some ways she can be really inteligent and insightful and then in other ways she can be really immature, and cries over the tiniest things.
I don't know about the constipation thing, that's another thing though, she is obsessed with breaking wind, even following other people around when they do it so she can smell it, which i find really horrible.
Punishments have always been a problem too, no matter what punishment she receives she can never ever accpet she is wrong, now I know older kids get that, but even as a young child she just couldn't get it that there was another point of view than hers. I know that doesn't really sound like a developmental issue, I don't think i'm really explaining things that well.

I might also be a good idea for your GP to check if she has a urine infection.

I think it would probably be a good idea (if only to but your mind at rest) for her to be seen be a Development Pead.

Has she had any problems at school?

Not really, she's quite bright and usually does quite well, how would I get her to see a dev. pead.?

Just to point out that not being able to see things from another's point of view would be a sign of autism/asperger's. Not saying that she definetely has an autistic spectrum disorder, though. Plently of people have a few autistics traits without a full blown disorder.

I have thought that, I know a little about it as partners brother has it. Would getting this diagnosed actually help though, because all the time i'm searching for an answer I am aware that dragging her through loads of tests, and being assessed by a load if different docs may just confuse her and damage her confidence, but if there is a positive outcome then I would do it.

I think it is definetly worth getting a diagnosis (if there is one). I have worked a little in this field, and most parents find it a big relief to have an explanation of their child's behaviour. Professionals may be able to give you advice on behavioural techniques to help her. Also, if she ever did require any extra help at school, or special considerations, it might be easier if she has a diagnosed condition.

Hi Briarose,

School maybe able to refer you to a developmental Pead, If not then your GP certainly can.

My Daughter has Aspergers, but she is only 5, so it really hard for me to comment. There are other people here on mumsnet who have daughters with Aspergers of a similar age who could proably help you more. It would certainly be a good idea for you to have a look at some of the threads on the SNs board.

As for as getting a diagnosis, i can honestly say that its been a very positive thing for us, its certainly help me understand the way my daughter thinks IYKWIM.

Just out of interest how does she get on with your partners brother?

BTW, having the assessment done may not actually be that stressfull or mean seeing lots of differany professionals. In our case we was seen by everyone on our first appointment and then be a Psyc for an IQ test and that was it we had a diagnosis.

HTH

Also have you has a look at the NAS website.

regarding your comment twocutedarlings, she doeas actually get on very well with my partenrs brother even though there is about 14 years between them. I think I will approach the school, but i'll take that advice about note taking because at the moment I find it really hard to put into words what it is that I think is different about her.

Totally understand what your say about not really being able to explain in words what you mean. The thing is with AS/HFA it is often a case of now you see it now you dont IYSWIM. At home my DD is almost NT at school she can be a nightmare as she is out of her comfort zone (but shes getting there ).

That's it totally! sometimes it's there, other times I wonder what i'm worried about!
Made an appointment to see DDs teacher tomorrow, with a view to speaking to the SENCo. Have also booked an appointment with doc to discuss behaviour and diet. I have a journalist friend who recently covered a stroy about a boy who has autism and his Mum heard about a diet which cut out certain proteins, apparently the boy is now relatively free of symptoms. Have researched it but don't want to embark on anything until ran it past doc. DD is beginning adolescence and am anxious about changing her diet at an age when her body is going through so much.
Anybody know what i'm on about? anybody tried it? Might post this on the spec. needs threads.
I had a huge guilt trip today, felt really emotional because if it turns out that DD does have a problem then I feel that we've been so hard on her over these years, trying to get her to just toe the line and be "normal" I feel horrid saying that but she can be very disruptive at times