High needs baby

[spoonfulofsugarr]

Hello.

Firstly I just want to say im obsessed with my children & love them more than anything. I am also extremely lucky to have 2 healthy children.

But at the moment I am feeling in a bit of a hole.

I have DC1 (2) and DC2 (2 months). My first child was high needs & still is to be honest, very demanding, loud, doesn't sleep well, hyperactive, whingey, can be very tiring. I was really hoping DC2 would be easier, but in fact she is the same if not harder. Apart from the fact she sleeps like an angel at night (goes to bed 7pm, dream feed 10pm, feed 2am and then up at 6am for the day) she is extremely unhappy during the day. She pretty much cries all day unless sleeping. Screams Bloody Mary in the car, I'm constantly rocking her to sleep or just to stop her from crying.

The hardest thing is that I am struggling to split myself in half for them both. They are both very demanding & I am getting extremely stressed & down by this. I want to put DC1 in nursery more days but then I am struggling with the mum guilt. I also feel like I'm taking my stress out on DC1 a lot because he is keeping DC2 from sleeping during the day.

Bit of a pointless post but I am just wondering if anyone has experienced similar and whether it will get easier with the 2? Will DC2 get easier after 3 month mark? How can I get her to sleep without rocking so that I still have time for DC1?

Feeling like a pretty shit mum at the moment 😩

Oh poor you, I hope you don't mind me posting to bump your thread. My ds nearly 3 is also very high needs, this is why I dread to make a second one despite it breaks my heart knowing he won't have a sibling close in age. For me, after 2.5 it got easier and easier for ds. I know I'm not on the same boat as you but it will get easier pretty soon with your first child. Despite being a sahm, I put ds in nursery at 2 yo and right now I get a break and he also gets the chance to mingle with other kids and actually learn something. When I go to pick him up, it's like we haven't seen each other for years and we spend really good quality time. I've noticed his behaviour has improved a lot especially when he comes home from nursery. So I will say, don't feel guilty about nursery for putting him in for more days. It gets easier, just hang in there. Also, try to picture the days when you see both of them playing together.

Thank you @dolphinsden ! Yes they are the days I am looking forward to. X

In the same boat but I have a 3 and a half year old and a 3 and a half month old. It has gotten slightly easier for us but when the youngest goes through a growth spurt/developmental leap it’s hell on earth. Today has been particularly hard and my eldest has been in nursery. Screamed the whole way through me putting my son to bed because she wanted to be held. I just keep reminding myself it will get easier… it must get easier!