ADHD/ASD is this normal?

[mommabear2386]

I really need some advice on this from parents with children already diagnosed... my nephew is 11 and was diagnosed 4 years ago and is on medication (not sure of the name)

Now I don't mean to offend and I'm aware i don't have a lot of knowledge of children on the spectrum BUT I am really worried about his behaviour, he's always been a child that since 4+ had had a dark side... every game played is violent / mean and I mean made up role playing games he's always attacking people or saying threatening things. Borderline very dangerous things such as 'can something breath will a pillowcase over there head' he calls his younger sibling his 'victims' he is the only child ever to give me goosebumps and shivers.

I refuse to babysit him and I never leave my 4 year alone with him as he has done the below over the last 3/4 years

•killed gush 'wanting to see what happens out of water'
•set 2 fires in his home
• stabbed a child at school in the leg
• is fascinated with dead babies and talks about them regularly
• writes down the ways people can die in order of favourite

There's so much more but it's at the point where my relationship with my sister is struggling because she knows I don't like him and he actually scares me at times but she always brings it back to the diagnosis saying people don't understand it etc etc which I do! But I've met other children and his behaviour is just not in the same league

I want her to get psychological help for him but how do I broach this without losing her? She is do defensive as she feels so many people are against him etc such as school and other kids as he has no friends (hurts them and they leave or kids tend to just not want to be around him)

Anyone that can shed any similar stories with children behaving this way? Should I be as worried as I am? It's awful but I really feel in the next 4 year when he's maturing and becomes stronger there could be real problems

Sorry that should say 'killed fish as he wanted to see what happened outside of water and also killed kittens by putting them in a mop bucket full of floor cleaner and bleach to see if they can swim

Clearly, he does need support. Be honest with your sister that you are worried about him. Because you are. It is up to her, to ask her GP or a self-referral to CAMHS. There is a long waiting list.
Ignoring these incidents, is not the way forward. He needs guidance and support, to explore how he deals with his curiosity and feelings.

Sorry are you actually saying that this kid killed kittens? Is this genuine?

Oh yes it's genuine sadly, their family pet came home pregnant and had 6 kittens. My sister was keeping them until she could sell them on and one day when she was cleaning 4 of them were dumped into the mop bucket and she didn't realise until he told her they were swimming and she took them straight to a vet, 3 passed away one survived. He was 6 almost 7 then

She has done many online activities working out anger but it's sometimes not even his actions but his words that are genuinely frightening at times and the inability to make any friends in the last 10 years just seems odd to me

I sorry OP but of this is genuine then the ADHD/ASD are the least of his problems. He sounds profoundly disturbed and lacking in self control or empathy. They'd never give such a young child such a label but tbh he's heading towards a highly psychopathic personality type tbh. His parents really need to work to address his emotional needs before it's too late and I think you need to tread cautiously and not leave any of your own kids/pets unattended around him x

Completely agree with @Jannt86, I find this really disturbing. He needs intervention immediately.

Are you sure this is the correct diagnosis? Or could it be has another diagnosis as well a physiological disorder? Have a google of conduct disorder for example

OP your right to be worried. I agree with others it sounds very disturbing. People with adhd can have challenging behaviour along with other problems but I have never heard of a child being so engrossed in death and actually harming an animal. He needs early intervention before he gets older and this gets worse. I think he needs a proper evaluation and diagnosis. Your sister probably does know something isn't right but as its her little boy she may not want to admit it. Try to have a word with her one to one and just tell her your very concerned and its much better to seek help now than it will be years later. Even offer to go with her for some support. The gp will refer to the appropriate professional who can help him and your sister will also get support. If he's killed a kitten what will be next? Good luck op I really hope she gets the help for him