At the end of my tether with the sleeping.

[Mamaof2222]

Good morning!

I am finding the sleep hard to cope with! I need some advice and want to know other people's experiences! I really am struggling and no judgment on the ways I have chosen to tackle his sleeping habits. please!

My LO is 8 and a half months he has NEVER slept through the night.
My partner and i are begining to really struggle and dread night times and it feels it is only getting worse.
Baby eats solids (3 meals a day) and still has milk during the day and still has night feeds (sometimes I think he drinks milk for comfort in night. He also has a dummy during daytime's and heavily relies on it for naps.

So fast forward to a week ago when I got really desperate and tried the dreaded Ferber method (again no judgement).

We always have a bedtime routine I e bath cream and then rocked to bed... Day one of doing Ferber we did his bedtime routine lights off no dummy then put him in his cot. I went back after 3 mins then 5 mins and he screamed then went to sleep after 20 mins.

This has been roughly less and less each time yesterday (day 7) he went to sleep in under one min! But he screamed the most out of all the days.

However he is still waking in the night and his cot is in our room (baby doesn't have nursery) so when he wakes up the next time I end up bringing him in the bed (please tell me if I shouldn't be doing this and should be doing Ferber throughout night aswell).

We said we will do it for 2 weeks if it doesn't work then we will go back to rocking him.

I just feel like I finally got the hang of things now the sleep is just tok much to deal with he wakes up throughout the night sleeps in the end cries and finally gets up for the day at five!

So two main questions:
Am I doing something wrong with Ferber and if yes what is it?

If I ditch Ferber when did your babies start sleeping through the night or without waking and crying!

I really thank anyone who takes time out of their hectic mum life to reply to this thank you!

Op, if you want a chance of him sleeping through the night he needs his own room first.
Mine went into their own room at 9 months and soon started to sleep through naturally but you’ve got to also be realistic. Many babies are still waking once at night at 8 months old for comfort or a feed.. try a dream feed just to make sure your DC is not hungry at night and tbh leaving babies to cry this age just get them stressed and eventually they shut down and give up on you . There are times when babies are over stimulated and nothing else will work but a good cry but night after night of being left to cry it out just isn’t great for you it them😀. Lots of babies start their day at 5am as depressing as that is!! It doesn’t last xx

Mine slept through from 10 - 18 months...and now we're back to shit with night waking etc ever since ...so for 7 mo th now. I think it's normal for them to want mommy...it sucks but they are little.
I'd appreciate help, too

Not sure you want to hear this, I have 2,5yo and 1yo and they both wake up at night. I have not had more than 3 hours of uninterrupted sleep for years.

I don't know any methods, I tend to give mine bottle/change before bed, then change before I go to sleep (so about midnight, sigh) and then bottle 2-3-4am (I make bottles and just give whoever asks for at whatever time).

There are some regression times (esp 8months and then 1 year and 18 months and 2 years so basically between regressions and teething there is never any good sleep). I would however not bring kid to bed (unless it is the only way they will sleep again in which case I would). Do whatever helps to make them sleep. Trial/error. My younger one is a dream baby, she wakes, takes bottle, self-sooths. The older one is hell. Always has been. Same genetics same upbringing same bed same room - polar opposites.

If you want to sleep train you need to be consistent, so that means following the same process for nighttime wakeups. As others advised you should have baby in their own room and be confident they do not need a nighttime feed before you press ahead with methods such as ferber. Many 8/9mo old babies (especially breastfed babies) will still 'need' a feed overnight. Personally, I would provide comfort and be there whilst baby was falling asleep, encouraging them to fall asleep in cot by themselves (patting / back rubbing etc) provide same comfort for overnight wakeups (feed if needed) then gradually reduce the support needed when baby is used to falling asleep by themselves (think they call it the shuffling chair or something) essentially baby knows you are there, you are supporting them and encouraging them to fall asleep, you are not leaving them to cry until they give up on you.

To add my baby was a terror waking up 4x a night at 8 months but was realibly sleeping through by 12 months. The sleep deprivation is horrid but you'd be surprised how you can just keep going on no sleep. Repeat the mantra 'this too will pass!'

Sorry to say but I think you might be being a bit unrealistic on the sleeping front. It's very normal to not be sleeping through the night at eight months, frankly it's pretty normal to still be waking up at two years old.

Another parent of non sleeping children here. My two children are nearly 3 and 16 months old. STILL not slept through... currently rocking the younger one to sleep as she is refusing to go down 😅
I just keep telling myself that I'll sleep one day.

@Mamaof2222

Hi Op. no advise as such but my DS has slept through the night maybe twice in his life. At this point we have just accepted it. My Dp lies on the floor next to his bed until he's asleep and then he will always come into our bed during the night. Thankfully now he just walks in without even waking us so it's not actually a problem.

I would just do whatever you have to do to get sleep and don't worry about being judged. Sounds like your doing a great job and I hope Ferber method works for you. It worked for my son for a few months and then we went backwards. It's so frustrating but I just think now if you have a bad sleeper you have a bad sleeper unfortunately.

😩 it gets easier!!! Xxx