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3 year old ASD - advice please

5 replies

Ayudameplease · 14/02/2022 11:58

I have a 3 year old girl with ASD. She has been going to a local sports class with me in the parent and toddler sessions but she is of an age where she should be going to the next class, where a parent doesn't attend. She had her first class without me recently and one of her friends was joining the class too. At the end of the class, the organiser advised me my DD hadn't been following the instructions well and wasn't answering to her name. I spoke to the organiser and explained about the ASD and that my DD would probably need longer to settle as she has will learn from observing the other children rather than understanding the instructions. The woman was fairly unsympathetic saying that they can't accommodate her and don't have the resources to give her extra support. My DD loves this class and is so excited to go with her friend but she can only go one more time and if it doesn't work out, she can't go anymore. She isn't wild - she might just go off track and do her own thing sometimes or be late to do what she is supposed to be doing until she sees what the others are doing. The problem I think is that the kids are supposed to stay in their specific part of a circuit and rotate, and my DD doesn't understand this and will move round from one activity to another (it's on equipment) The organiser claims it's a H&S issue. Having done the class with my DD, I find this very OTT. She might be distracted/ go of course but the equipment is for toddlers and there are lots of young girls assisting the class leader. I feel very upset that at 3, my DD is going to miss out on activities with her peers due to having ASD. I did try to explain all of this to the woman but she was pretty blunt that they won't help. Just looking for thoughts really and whether other parents have had these types of issues? And any resources to help support my DD with following instructions - anyone know of anything useful? There's so much out there it's hard to know where to start/ separate the quackery from proper advice. Thank you!

OP posts:
CP2701 · 14/02/2022 13:02

I had this with my little girl when she was little. She has ADHD and had similar problems with staying focused or staying where she was supposed to etc. She was asked to leave various clubs which I found really harsh. The gymnastics lady said that it was due to health and safely as well but, like yourself, I watched a few times and she wasn't really bothering anyone else.

Eventually we found that swimming lessons were great for her! Tbh though, it was more because the instructor was so patient and good with her. He treated her like all the others but knew when she needed extra.

My advice would be to find a class that has a more understanding instructor. I know she likes her class but it's never going to work if the instructor isn't onside right away. I have met quite a few of these along the way!
Good luck.

skkyelark · 14/02/2022 20:33

I obviously haven't seen their risk assessment, but the health and safety risk might have to do with having a child unsupervised (or rather, less supervised) – if your DD is wandering away from her group leader, she's not being supervised as closely as those in the group (or as when you were with her). If she did have an accident, or another child did whilst the group leader went to retrieve your DD, and she was known to wander away from the group, there would be questions about why they hadn't done something about the risk.

If that's the issue, the obvious way to mitigate the risk is for her to have closer support. Would they temporarily let you retrieve her and bring her back to the group (whilst still stepping back and letting her be on her own when she can)? Or could an extra assistant discretely keep a particular eye on her? That presumably would require extra funds – I'm not sure if you get DLA or anything like that for her?

Ayudameplease · 15/02/2022 11:41

Thanks for your replies. Sorry @CP2701 that you have experienced similar. You are probably right that if the instructor isn't on board, it isn't going to work. Feels very unfair that they can wilfully discriminate in this way though.

@skkyelark thank you - we don't get DLA - i haven't gone down that road yet as I assumed the care needs wouldn't be too different from other 3 year olds, but will look into this. They could easily assign one of the teenage girls who help the leader, to assist her without much bother but seem unwilling. I'm not sure why.

OP posts:
Jannt86 · 15/02/2022 22:03

This all seems really far fetched. My 3YO doesn't have Asd/adhd that I know of but can be incredibly distractible and defiant in her Gymnastics and dancing lessons especially to start with. Both groups have been absolute sweethearts and been patient with her and worked hard to build a relationship with her and she still has her blips but is way more willing to join in now. Unless your daughter is literally trashing the joint I think they're overreacting. It might be time to find an alternative class as sad as this is. I think finding the right class for something she's passionate about though could be great for her self esteem so maybe see if anywhere is offering alternative classes xx

Atsoc · 16/02/2022 00:35

Thank you Jannt86. I agree it seems very OTT - she really isn't doing anything wrong except being a bit in her own world and not following all the directions. It's a pity. I assume this means only English fluent and children with full hearing are welcome to attend as anything less might give them the same difficulties as my DD apparently does! I find it hard to believe all the other 3 year olds are always listening and following all the instructions too...

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