3 year old extreme outbursts and aggression

[Stressedmummy94]

I have a little boy who will be 3 on the 7th March.
He is perfectly capable of getting himself dressed, getting what he wants and walking around. However, he point blank refuses to. Instead says “mummy/daddy do it” when we encourage him to do it himself a full on meltdown ensues. Throwing his head into walls and floors, hitting and kicking us, biting or destroying things.
He will not walk next to you when out and about safely even on his reigns. He will sit down in the middle of the road having a meltdown throwing his head into the floor etc. or try to run off into cars. When I walk him to nursery on my own because dad is at work I have to tie the reigns round the buggy his sister is in so we end up getting dragged into the road.
Naptime is murder. He refuses to go for a nap even though he is exhausted and has massive bags under his eyes. And will destroy his room instead. At night time we put him down at 8pm and can still be having to go up at 1am to get him to sleep because he refuses to. He will stand at his baby gate banging on it and trying to get it off screaming at the top of his lungs. Then wakes multiple times a night needing settling.
His aggression is uncontrollable. To the point his has given me a black eye throwing his head into me during a meltdown. He has ended up in hospital being monitored for a concussion for 4 hours due to banging his head into a wall that hard he had a massive lump on his head.
He can’t be left alone with other children as he hurts them. Punching them in the back, the head, pushing them over hard, hitting them with objects and causing bruises and scratches.
His sister can’t be in the same room to sleep with him because he nearly pulled her bed over with her in it, climbs into bed to hit her, throws things into bed with her.
His eating is also a problem. He was always a kid who would eat anything. But now he refuses to eat. He will put his food in the bin if he’s not in a high chair. If he is in a highchair he will just throw it on the floor.
I keep being told this is normal two years old behaviour. But I don’t think it is at this point. I’m starting to struggle with the lack of sleep. Worrying about his safety and his sister. I can’t even nip out of the room to get a drink because she ends up getting hurt by him.
Has anyone else experienced this and can give me some advice on what I can do at this point because im at a loss

I am sorry you are struggling.
Have you spoken to your GP?
It should be your first point of call.

Also, has he started nursery? What do the teachers say? You might find some help there too.

Spoke to the doctors nursery nurse and they said they’ll review again in 3 months even though at his 2 year review he has gotten worse since.
He is at nursery 3 half days a week and having problems there. They are now doing ABC reports at my request (Action, Behaviour, Consequence) because they were telling me it was happening there but telling the doctors it wasn’t.
The nursery have also said they are going to do a SEN report.
I spoke to the doctors today because I am at my wits end and need some help and they are referring him to be assessed as he is constantly on the go and never stops and has issues regulating his emotions according to the nursery nurse.
I’m just hoping we get somewhere as his little sister now won’t go down on the floor when he’s downstairs because he constantly hurts her.
Had to start planning naps around when he is up to ensure she gets a lot of play time when he’s either napping or at nursery.