Opinions wanted.

[Allyri4]

Please be kind I am a single parent of a child with behavioural issues. He out right chooses to ignore me at every chance he gets. So the story is I took my 9 yr old to London to visit my sister one weekend and we were standing outside a shop. My sister and I were standing to the side to leave room for others but my child kept standing in the centre blocking other pedestrians ability to pass by. I ask and ask and asked him to move bit he just refused to listen to me no matter how much I repeated myself so when a buggy was coming i grabbed his collar and pulled him to the side to let her pass. After my sister who has no children decided to berate me about pulling him out the way. I feel I was within my right to forcible remove him from the ladies path. It didnt hurt him but he made a fuss about being removed. Was I within my rights to do this. I would totally have preferred him to have done it without me having to physically move him but he choose to ignore me repeatedly. Yes I feel bad and I would never hurt him but shes made me question myself.

It's hard to truly judge without knowing how forceful you were but you were absolutely right to stop him getting in the way. It just sounds like you perhaps need to be a bit more mindful of nipping it in the bud when such problems first occur. Ask him twice then explain that he's obviously having problems listening so you'll have to move him yourself then firmly but gently move him. Perhaps if you'd done this you wouldn't have had to pull him sharply out of the way. I wouldn't think on it though. Take on board what your sister says but ultimately it's your child so you have the final say. It was just a minor event by the sounds of it so I wouldn't overthink it xx

I had asked him calmly 4 times and explained why I needed him to do what was ask. He is adhd and refuses to listen so nipping it in the bud is not an option as much as I would love it to be. I didnt do it roughly or hurt him as I would never do that but it just annoyed me as she doesnt have children and doesnt know what I have to deal with day in day out. But thanks

My nephew has autism and as a younger child (he’s now 15) he was similar. Something I found works was to give a choice but that ultimately suits the parent so `can you move out of the way or will I move you?’ Obviously that depends on if the child listens which is easier said than done. I know myself being the auntie I looked at how my sister was with her son and thought at times it was harsh. Being a parent now myself I was far too judgemental. You did what you thought needed done in that moment I wouldn’t be hard on yourself