9 y/old DD freaking out at bed time...

[ShinyHappyPeopleHoldingHands]

DD is just nine, always gone to bed ok, good sleeper, fairly laid back character, but over the years has had occasonal "issues" over bedtime when she is worried about something, ie something triggers her off..

A few nights ago she (regrettably!) saw a few seconds of Hot Fuzz where someone (apparently) got murdered (wasn't watching it myself) as the whole house was a bit chaotic, we had the in laws here and DD and her cousin (who has been playing upstairs) came through the living room to get a drink.

Since then, every night at bedtime she gets butterflies, works herself up into a state about going to bed (you can see it happening) which she says is "in case she starts thinking about murder". Last night, she wanted to go to bed as she was tired (she is very overtired infact, from too many late nights over Christmas), and she was tearful and upset anyway over a change of plans (some friends, including kids, were coming over to see new year in with us but then said they couldn't). So she went to bed, but came straight down again saying "wasn't tired" (she clearly was.) So I took her back up, we made up a story together about all her favourite things, she listened to some music for a bit after that, then came down again. She said she had "worried butterflies" in her stomach, then promptly threw up everywhere. DH took her back up, after we had her sorted/had cleaned up, and her lay with her for a while, couldn't get her back to sleep so brought her back down and she saw the new year in with us, finally going straight up and to sleep when we all went to bed after midnight.

This afternoon I told her we have to get this sorted out but even talking about bedtime starts her off! She says she "needs a grown up in her bedroon with her".

What I can do tonight? I'm pretty experienced with neurotic children as DS1 (now 15) used to be the most anxious child ever, but I want to get this sorted - can't having her throwing up from a self-inflicted nervous thing (I know she's not doing it on purpose) and school starts again soon. And she needs a few early nights before then as well - she's knackered!

Any advice please?

bump

What about leaving a light on in her room,or doors open so she can hear you.
Youproable have but could you talk to her about what she saw.
Not much help sorry.

let her listen to audio tape stories in bed, with the door open - agree to go and check on her every 10 mins? Sorry I've no experience of this.

put a story CD on to take her mind off being alone in bed?

When my 8 and 9 year olds have bad thoughts I reassure them that Mummy and Daddy are here and no-one will be able to hurt them.

When DD had nightmares we worked on a way of turning bad dreams good. This involved taking the bad thing for example a sword and turning it into a flower etc. (we saw it on Blues Clues!) I tell DD she is in control of her thoughts and then we read on old favourite book (usually a fairy story ) to make her relaxed and comfy. She has a light box type thing which we use as a "grown up" night light.

Hope this helps have to go now DH is calling.

Thank you. Was venting about demon SN child on SN section and came back to find replies! How lovely. Will run the ten minute thing past her.. have done the others, although will do them all again tonight if it helps. We usually have a story anyway. Have offered High School Musical on cd player quietly but she said no it wouldn't help

She has agreed to be checked on every FIVE minutes, perhaps progressing to ten "if she is ok".. .. thanks CarGirl x

You could always take your book in and read it in the corner with a torch while she drops off. ooh, 15 minutes sitting quietly with a book -goes off in a happy daydream-

Not a bad idea Emma...

If the 5 minute thing doesn't work..

you know I have a feeling, they don't grow up until they leave home - they just turn into larger toddlers.......

perhaps increase by a minute a visit, hide her clock, and hope she doesn't realise - who know she may drop off because she'll be thinkng about you coming back. Still reading a book in the corner whilst dh does the clearing up has its appeal too!

I had an idea from DS1's anxious days.. we made a "worry box", and coloured in all the sides with DD's favourite things/colours, then she wrote down her worries, and she posted them into a slit in the top. I told her they are now gone, unless she invites them to come back out!

Then we played Snap for a bit, had a bath then I read to her in bed for a while. Stayed with her her until she fell asleep; that was a couple of hours ago so fingers crossed. Perhaps she just needs abit of extra TLC to get her through this phase. She does have a lot to put up with (with her SN slightly younger brother). Poor child often gets asked to "wait a minute" and that's the least of her problems; DS2 is often very violent towards her. I think I take her laid back nature too much for granted, no wonder she has these anxious phases occasionally