Potty training a toddler who goes to nursery

[Bozza]

DS is still only 20 months so I know that really we've got plenty of time yet but was wondering about having a go at potty training him in the next month or so. My main concern is that he goes to nursery (8am to 5.30pm) 3 days a week so I don't know how this will fit in with training him. I just wondered if anyone had been in a similar position and how it worked with nursery?

I have 2 days hol left and DH has 1 so I have been toying with the idea of keeping him off nursery for a week which would then give us a 10 day break at home in which to concentrate on the matter. Would this be worth doing or should I be expecting nursery to get more involved? What can I expect nursery to do in terms of assisting? He is currently one of the older ones in his room (its from 12 - 24 months but there's more younger ones) but I'm not aware of any of the others being trained.

Or should I wait until he goes into the next room next year where there should hopefully be more of an emphasis on it and others using the potty/toilet for DS to follow suit?

Hi Bozza, We're just in the throes of potty training dd who's just 2. She's at nursery 3 days and she recently moved up to the next class where they really encourage potty training. They gave me a leaflet that they'd prepared all about what they recommended (ie. no pull-ups or training pants - straight into the cotton pants etc) and told me about their philosophy. In this class they pop all the kids on the potty after a nappy change to get them used to it. I'm sure your nursery would be pleased to discuss it with you.

I followed Gina Ford's advice (shoot me down now !!) and we had a potty around for about a year, and dd played with it, put teddy on it etc for ages - then started sitting on it and weeing at bath-time - then at other times - then she decided she wanted to wear pants at 2 - nursery were very encouraging and supportive and have kept me going when I was all set to revert to nappies !

So I'd say - speak to nursery first and see what they think. I'm sure my dd has come on so well because she's seen others potty training and wearing pants - so maybe it would be best to wait until nursery are really encouraging it - probably in the next class.

HTH ?

Actually Scatterbrain that is really helpful. I will speak to nursery - I just sometimes find it difficult because when I take DS its always quite busy and DH does the pick-up. I had a feeling there might be a bit more emphasis in the next class as you suggest.

I've been doing the GF thing of sitting him on the potty before a bath as well. He's just not doing much at the moment tho'! I tell him to choose a book and he does and then comes back and sits on the potty quite happily. But then he always insists on emptying the empty potty into the toilet and flushing! But he goes and stands in the bathroom to do a poo which made me think maybe he was ready? Recently bought him a step to stand at the basin and although he still can't reach the taps he loves it and the whole handwashing procedure.

Bozza, it depends on the child of course, but 20 months or so may be a bit young for potty training (especially a boy). Talk to your nursery about their approach to it - my dd's nursery have a leaflet they give out to parents when it looks like their child is ready for training. Their philosophy is not to push a child, but to let an interest in using the potty develop naturally - the children see the older ones using the potty at changing time and this is quite an incentive for a lot of them. When dd was training she quite often came home in a change of clothes (sometimes more than one bag of sopping pants and leggings ), but the nursery were very tolerant about mopping up accidents, and accepted my decision that dd would never learn if she kept going in and out of nappies.

Hi again Bozza,

Sounds to me like he's not quite ready - I'd leave it until he goes into the next class and then a week or so more till he's settled - then go for it ! I wouldn't rush it - it is hell and nappies are far far easier ! Even 2 would be very good going for a boy I think.

Could you ring nursery for a chat maybe ? I haven't done that myself but I know mums do when they are pressed for time in the morning.

It does seem like the advice is going that way doesn't it? Maybe I will start getting him to go on the potty after breakfast as well (as suggested by Gina) and leave it at that for the time being. Also decided to start practicing the trousers up and down thing. He's not very good at that yet - but I'm sure would find it easier if he didn't have a bulky nappy in the way!

DS2 is nearly 20 months and is completely clueless about potty training despite seeing his big brother using the toilet (and me - there's no privacy in a house with toddlers!). Remembering the stress of trying with DS1 at 2 1/2, no way am I trying with him until next Summer unless he shows clear signs that he's ready, willing and (more to the point) able.

I would imagine that nursery are far more experienced in this sort of thing than us! I agree you should talk to them about it and ask if they think he's ready and what their "plan of attack" would be. Probably waiting til he's moved to the next room and is settled would be best. As you say, there's more emphasis on it and also you won't run the risk of him having accidents as a result of the change to his routine.

Good luck!

Personally I found it so much easier with DS that I basically waited until he was obviously ready... how did I know? He would hold off during nappy free time, and then do a big wee when the nappy came back on. The wees were so big that every cloth nappy we have started leaking. He started asking to use the toilet. I did the other things -- sometimes just put him in pants around the house, ask him to wee on the lawn when running around trouserless, put him on the toilet/potty. All that from 18 months, and just as warm up, I reckon. Not ready until 2yo4 months, though.

The only hiccup after that was keeping his attention to prevent accidents; we ended up rewarding him for every poops with a yogurt raisin. That was incentive enough to get the wees in the toilet, too. And eventually, he forgot about asking for his treat.
Dry at night, too, by 2 yo 10 months. Still have to do bottom inspections & wiping, though; blech!

ps: I should put this in nursery context. One day I just walked in and announced DS was in pants. Nursery was astounded because I hadn't even talked about potty training before that, but DS has had virtually no accidents at nursery.

My ds (23 mo.) has just been (daytime) potty trained by his childminder in a matter of days. He was very clearly ready which is why she suggested doing it (23 months is early for a boy). He started about a month ago by telling us every time he did a poo and then proceeded to telling us just before doing a poo. It was then that the childminder said it was time. She put him straight into cotton pants and put him on the toilet every 1 1/2 hours. Within a day he was telling her when he had to pee and now a week later, only has an occasional accident when he is playing so intensely that he forgets to tell me that he needs to go to the toilet. Because he got trained a lot earlier than I had expected, I never got around to getting a little potty for him to get used to, so he goes directly on the toilet. The best part is after he flushes, he lifts the lid, waves and says "byebye" to his poo....

Help - 18 month ds has started pulling at his nappy and taking me by the hand to take me to his changing mat when he's going to wet or dirty his nappy.
It's taken a few days to realise that it's not that he has a dirty nappy that he wants changing, but that he is about to dirty it.
I wasn't expecting to potty train him before the summer but my mum says that if he's telling us that he wants to wee/pooh then we should offer him the potty.
I don't want to complicate things by encouraging potty sitting too soon, (and it's not good washing weather!).
Any advice??

Hi dm2, my advice would be to give it a go. I posted a couple of weeks ago about attempting to train my 18 month old dd, unfortunately it didn't go too well, I think mainly because she wasn't able to tell me when she needed to go or make the association with the potty. I backed right off and decided to wait for another 6-8 weeks or so or perhaps until the signs were there. It sounds like your ds might be ready. In my experience I think the key is probably to try to be as laid back as possible about it (easier said than done I know). Interestingly my dd in the last couple of days has suddenly (without any prompting from me) starting to sit on the potty, albeit with her nappy on, or bring me her potty when I go to the loo, so I think she is very gradually making the association. My plan is to just let her carry on doing this and praise and encourage her all I can, sit her on the potty if she is happy, but continue with nappies for now so she doesn't feel too pressurised etc.
I know the weather is not brilliant at the moment, have you got a tumble dryer? The other thing I did was get a supply of vests without the poppers underneath so they can be encouraged to pull their own pants down etc.
Wishing you all the best, and please let us know how you get on.

I would agree with the advice to go for it. Can you stay at home for a couple of days, turn the heating up, and dress him in minimal clothing. Thats my plan for DS starting on the 7th. So I will report back. I have been sitting him on the potty a bit (eg before bath) so he's used to the idea. Unfortunately we had a set back a couple of weeks ago on a Sunday morning when DS woke up and I got him up and took his nappy off so he could run around free for a few minutes. Then being full of cold went back to bed. DS came and said "mummy - nappy - poo-poo" but by the time I got out of bed, blew my nose etc it was too late and he'd done it all over the floor by his nappy drawer. This traumatised him so that he screamed everytime I tried to change his nappy, cried all through his bath etc. But he's gradually got over it and it proved to me that he is ready. I have bought him some pants (£5 for 10 from Asda - is this enough?) and started putting him in vests rather than bodysuits as Melly suggestsl

Thanks for the advice. I think we'll try a little potty sitting this weekend and see what happens.
I'm a little worried because his speech is poor, (i.e. I can understand him but his nursery key worker still says he has no words), so even if we have success at home I don't know what will happen at nursery (he goes 3 days a week). I'm going to ask about their toilet training policy when I pick him up this afternoon.
I was thinking about this yesterday, and decided my reluctance probably had less to do with the weather and more to do with the evidence that my baby isn't a baby anymore. sob sob.

Bozza, I too was put off potty training by cold weather and wanting to avoid hassle, and carrying wet and spare pants to and fro between home and nursery. We never really used the potty, apart from talking about it, as he wanted to copy me by sitting on the toilet. We had a child's seat for it. Also, Nursery were a bit uptight about it, saying he's not ready after just 2 accidents in pants. In NZ they were really laid back and it was brilliant. They told me to bring in 5-8 spare pairs of pants and trousers each morning, and he just kept on having accidents and being taught to sit on the little toilets. It also helped that the children's toilets were open plan and there were plenty of good examples to follow! It was Hell for a couple of weeks, coming in from work and doing the washing every single day (otherwise the dirty clothes really stink after a few hours) but really effective. However, it depends on the Nursery being willing to keep on changing his clothes and mopping up accidents. I have a pet theory that nappy manufacturers conspire to persuade us that potty training should be later and later, when in fact most children are quite capable of being well-trained from 18 months. In spite of that, we have ground to a halt for progress at night time because I feel lazy when faced with the prospect of changing bedsheets in the middle of the working week nights.