Major anxiety attack. Autism or just a little delay? Please help me.

[AnxiousMum875]

Hi

This is my first post here and I'm hoping the Mumsnet support system will help put my mind at ease.

I have a 26 month old. He is amazing but like all children, has his tantrums and frustrations.

Recently I've started worrying that he may have autism thanks to good old Google (I know I shouldn't have!).

However, I'm also wondering whether he's just a typical kid but slightly behind his peers.

This is what he can do -
He can say lots of words and is starting to learn numbers 1 to 5 and colours with a bit of help sometimes.
He is potty trained.
He laughs and smiles and has no problem with being touched (doesn't like the hair brush though).
He sleeps well and mainly always has done.
He is a picky eater now but can feed himself.
He walks fine but is lazy so rarely walks very far when we go anywhere.

I guess my biggest concern is how he is with other children - He doesn't really 'like them' and typically just wants to be with an adult. He's pretty much always been like this but I blamed it on lockdowns whilst he was young. But now I look at other kids his age and they nearly all seem more sociable. He will just walk away if another child comes over or sometimes he will try to push them away. He's a bit soft for your typical lad I would say.

I've spoken to his nursery and they said it's probably because some of the older kids are a bit rougher so he's a little scared of them and tarnishes them all with the same brush. He does have a handful of kids that he is OK being around but he doesn't really interact much even with them.

He doesn't link many words together yet apart from things like 'Oh no' and 'lights on'. And he gets very angry or cries very quickly over what seems like nothing.

We do have a 4 month old too and I don't know if that's caused any behaviours to change, although he is brilliant with her.

Please can anyone help me with what this may be? I'm incredibly anxious anyway and this has set me on edge totally. Obviously if he is autistic I love him all the same, I would just like to get him the relevant help as early as possible.

Thank you.

I think it’s really quite normal for young 2yos to not be particularly interested in or comfortable around in other kids - some are very sociable, and some aren’t. My daughter became gradually keener on them as she got towards 3. Try not to worry. I have been down this rabbit hole too and it’s easy to start seeing things that aren’t there.

I swear 90% of searches for any baby/child development concern points to autism.

Of everything you listed, he sounds like many kids his age and it seems like nothing more than a personality trait. Just my opinion obviously.

My DS was painfully shy between 1.5 -2ish I'd take him to soft play and he'd cling to my legs. He wouldn't go for any of the toys and seemed overwhelmed by the noiseness of it all. He's 3.5 now and is very social. He'll charge towards any playground and enjoys playing with other kids.

Thank you both so much for responding. Off thinking more and reading what you have said, I'm wondering if he is just quite shy. I've had two days at home with him and when we're at home together, not one thing makes me think he may be autistic. Yes his speech isn't super advanced, but not all kids develop at the same rate. I think my biggest concern is the difference in him when he's in the company of other children. But he's fine in the company of adults or older kids (shy but comes out of his shell eventually). If he was autistic, surely he'd take issue with all people, or not? I'm sure in a week when my anxiety calms I'll look at things differently but I am such a worrier. I just constantly worry am I doing something wrong for my children. All I want is the best for them, as we all do, but I wonder if I'm the best person for the job. I love my kids with every inch of my heart. Thank you again for being someone to share my thoughts with and taking the time to respond.