27month old speech and language worries

[1stTimeBoyMumx]

Hi everyone! This is my first post so bear with me! I'm half worrying half not about my son, he's almost 27 months and has a lot of single words, he doesn't say mummy or daddy though (he sometimes says mamaaaa when I'm not doing something he wants immediately and sometimes daddy when his daddy is playing with him and he is excited) he just isn't conversational with us at all and although he understands what we're saying a lot of the time he also doesn't at the same time if you know what I mean!?

Comparison is the thief of joy I know BUT.. compared to his peers there's a noticeable difference with his understanding and speech. He is extremely loving and kind and I love him so much, I don't know if I'm worrying for nothing or if there is a problem! Iv asked to be referred to speech and language with our health visitor I am just waiting for that to all go through.

i am after mums who have been in similar situations and if there language has come on and they caught up? If he is interested in something he is engaging he loves and knows his numbers 1-20, alphabet, colours and shapes (even hexagon!) he says all of the words (not all very clearly but I know what he's saying) and he loves animals (more so there sounds than names but he can say a few clearly and again some I know what he's saying but others wouldn't) he's started to say 'uh uh car' as if asking if we're going in the car after getting his shoes on etc. day to day words are minimal he says drink and 'this' (my fault I have been saying do you want 'this' so he thinks most food is called this!!! I feel like I'm failing him.

I have a cousin who was very similar to what you've described here! He was referred to speech and language as well. He understood a lot but rarely every spoke. He went onto achieving level 6 in Year 6 (highest grades back then). He has just completed his A levels and achieved all As.

I've heard and read that boys develop speech slower than girls. Are you comparing him to girls? Anyway, I know many boys who didn't speak properly until around 3 and went on to achieve great things!

You've described a lovely kind boy and I don't think you're failing him at all. Don't be too hard on yourself love.

@FairyLights2

I have a cousin who was very similar to what you've described here! He was referred to speech and language as well. He understood a lot but rarely every spoke. He went onto achieving level 6 in Year 6 (highest grades back then). He has just completed his A levels and achieved all As.

I've heard and read that boys develop speech slower than girls. Are you comparing him to girls? Anyway, I know many boys who didn't speak properly until around 3 and went on to achieve great things!

You've described a lovely kind boy and I don't think you're failing him at all. Don't be too hard on yourself love.

Thank you for that, that is extremely reassuring. We have a couple of boy friends, they seem to be having full blown conversations with there mums and tends to be little girls at nursery drop off where I have noticed even more so to be honest they are very much little chatterboxes! He is a very clever little boy and my hopes are very much that he is just taking it all in and speech will erupt! He copies some small 3 word sentences sometimes and says them but they are purely copied and he's forever singing songs in tune! He seems to be very musical bless him! I am really bad for googling and it's just scared me into thinking something more could be going on, which is fine we would deal with it but the not knowing is terrifying x I never imagined all the emotions that would come with being a mum, I just want to know I'm doing everything I can. Health visitors don't seem to concerned as he says over 100 single words but babbling and first words were both 'late' I hate all these tick boxes x

When did he say his first word? And if the HV aren't so worried then that's a really good sign, imo.

@FairyLights2

When did he say his first word? And if the HV aren't so worried then that's a really good sign, imo.

He was around 15 months for his first word but not many followed. We had a 20 month check which is when he was referred to speech and language 3 months later he had come on realy well and we were discharged. He seems to go through stages where he's eager to learn and picks up loads of new words then we have nothing more for a while.

Wow I tried to speak to speech and language when my son was 18 months and they wouldn't entertain speaking to me until he was 3. Even now he is 3, and I would say he had a lot less speech than your DS at that age. I feel he only really started using single words between 2.5/3 and probably closer to that 3 mark. He now uses 2/3 words together but that really is only in the last month or so... Were now 38 months in.

Speech and language blamed covid... So I am assuming all children DSs age have little speech 🤣.

1sttimeboymumx:

Hello there mum ; first of all, relax and breathe because everything you said is common. More then you know .

My daughter is 3 & she's had speech delay her whole little life ... we tried signing with her ( which does help, a little) . Speech therapy ( she's still attending) ; occupational therapy ( still attending) .. Etc. But for whatever the reason, she's still struggling. I'm a stay at home mom and for the longest time I thought I was doing something wrong. I was so embarrassed of myself because while all these other 2-3 year olds had a large vocabulary; were able to respond and communicate their needs , here my daughter was .... struggling.
But, what I found since going to these therapies is that every child is different. And when my daughter is around other children ( playground, school, family members) she actually picks up on some of the commutation techniques from other kids. And she carries that with her at home.
My daughter is going to 3 different therapies right now & although it is a bit of a chaotic schedule; she's improved so much. She's been going to therapy for over a year now .

My suggestion for you is that seek out therapies through your insurance. If you don't have that option, look online at government agencies that offer speech development therapies ( sometimes they're free). Also, take your child around other kids. Set up play dates .

I promise you it'll get better & he'll get better ;)

@LifeIsBusy

Wow I tried to speak to speech and language when my son was 18 months and they wouldn't entertain speaking to me until he was 3. Even now he is 3, and I would say he had a lot less speech than your DS at that age. I feel he only really started using single words between 2.5/3 and probably closer to that 3 mark. He now uses 2/3 words together but that really is only in the last month or so... Were now 38 months in.

Speech and language blamed covid... So I am assuming all children DSs age have little speech 🤣.

Thank you for this! I luckily live in a flying start area (if your in the uk) and they have speech therapists although i suspect from speaking to others if there were no improvement we would be referred to a speech and language therapist outside of the flying start organisation as the speech and language therapist I seen is also a sleep consultant and can advise on diet etc so I think they are not as qualified as a speech therapist you would maybe pay privately for if you know what I mean! It's hard because I do believe he is just developing at his own little rate there's just a niggle of a worry that I am missing something! :(

What is a flyers area? Sounds like you're getting all the support you need.

I worry about my DS but I think he's got red flags all over the place.

Didn't point until almost 2, and even now it's now it's never been for random things like point out a car or showing us little things... It's really only ever been to show us a plane or train (something we used to do to try and engage with him)

Didn't ever really bring its toys or things just for fun

Hates things that move without his intervention e.g. a remote control car

He didn't clap or wave until just before this point too

I personally think his eye contact is debatable as sometimes he can hold your focus but the majority of the time he can't and his eyes dart all over the place.

Wind, showers, brushing hair, cutting hair (real issue at the minute), leaving the house, going to nursery, nursery pick up are all a big struggle.

His routines are sometimes quite rigid i.e. socks before pants, and I put his sock on his right foot and he does it on the left type thing

Food... Won't try anything he's not used to eating... Frustrating.

Meltdowns... These were never really a thing until the last sort of year but there are points where he just can't calm down. He screamed for close to an hour last week and still unsure why 🤔.

I think if you're reading this and thinking nah not me then all grand, if you're reading and thinking we have similar kids then perhaps we just raise a particular breed of baby or there is something wider going on.

Who knows!

@SDMumsy

1sttimeboymumx:

Hello there mum ; first of all, relax and breathe because everything you said is common. More then you know .

My daughter is 3 & she's had speech delay her whole little life ... we tried signing with her ( which does help, a little) . Speech therapy ( she's still attending) ; occupational therapy ( still attending) .. Etc. But for whatever the reason, she's still struggling. I'm a stay at home mom and for the longest time I thought I was doing something wrong. I was so embarrassed of myself because while all these other 2-3 year olds had a large vocabulary; were able to respond and communicate their needs , here my daughter was .... struggling.
But, what I found since going to these therapies is that every child is different. And when my daughter is around other children ( playground, school, family members) she actually picks up on some of the commutation techniques from other kids. And she carries that with her at home.
My daughter is going to 3 different therapies right now & although it is a bit of a chaotic schedule; she's improved so much. She's been going to therapy for over a year now .

My suggestion for you is that seek out therapies through your insurance. If you don't have that option, look online at government agencies that offer speech development therapies ( sometimes they're free). Also, take your child around other kids. Set up play dates .

I promise you it'll get better & he'll get better ;)

Thank you for this. It's so hard isn't it and the guilt! Nursery I have found has helped us massively. He says lots of single words and sings songs (albeit mainly in his own language) but I can tell what song he's singing as he's in tune and will say the correct end word or random word within the song! My friends children of the same age are all saying 'mummy mummy I want drink' 'mummy mummy come and watch me' etc I just get 'drink' or silence as he looks at me waiting for me to watch etc. I'm in the uk so works a little differently here, I have contacted my health visitor and we are awaiting a referral. I think they think Iv gone mad but there is a noticeable difference with him and his peers that's just too much of a gap for it being him in his own time although I'm still hopeful that's all it is! Good luck to you I'm glad your getting help and that it's working! Xx

@LifeIsBusy

What is a flyers area? Sounds like you're getting all the support you need.

I worry about my DS but I think he's got red flags all over the place.

Didn't point until almost 2, and even now it's now it's never been for random things like point out a car or showing us little things... It's really only ever been to show us a plane or train (something we used to do to try and engage with him)

Didn't ever really bring its toys or things just for fun

Hates things that move without his intervention e.g. a remote control car

He didn't clap or wave until just before this point too

I personally think his eye contact is debatable as sometimes he can hold your focus but the majority of the time he can't and his eyes dart all over the place.

Wind, showers, brushing hair, cutting hair (real issue at the minute), leaving the house, going to nursery, nursery pick up are all a big struggle.

His routines are sometimes quite rigid i.e. socks before pants, and I put his sock on his right foot and he does it on the left type thing

Food... Won't try anything he's not used to eating... Frustrating.

Meltdowns... These were never really a thing until the last sort of year but there are points where he just can't calm down. He screamed for close to an hour last week and still unsure why 🤔.

I think if you're reading this and thinking nah not me then all grand, if you're reading and thinking we have similar kids then perhaps we just raise a particular breed of baby or there is something wider going on.

Who knows!

It's basically an area where the council pump further resources in to help. I think it was originally for 'deprived' areas but more and more post codes are added (I live in a street with lots of old people I think they add the least likely to have children post codes to be honest and we have just fell lucky!)

I can relate to some of your worries. My son pointed (to some extent) in books only and probably in the last 4 months has started pointing to thing (he's 27 months now) he will say look, moon. And point at the moon.

He hates the hoover, I have to hoover when he's upstairs as he gets very upset. Also the hair dryer! But he isn't phased out of the house with cars trucks etc! They're his fave! When he was around 1 he seemed to love to spin anything and everything but he has grown out of that so I think that was a learning phase. He waved on time but still tends to wave bye bye after people have left rather than when they are leaving etc. cutting hair is a nightmare. He's started saying you do it (when he's struggling but it doesn't sound like you do it it's more like it's one word 'y-d-wat') eye contact I worry about too as I think it's not noticeable but when I think about it it is! I struggle to get a picture of him looking my way he's usually looking well past me but if he wants to interact he will look me in the eyes! Same with food, I have to battle to get him to taste and then he will eat it if he likes it but it's a battle to get him to try unless it's biscuit shaped I think if his speech wasn't a worry the small flags were having wouldn't have registered but they have more so because of his speech xx

My little boy is very similar to yours. He's 2.5 lots of single words, loves the alphabet, numbers, shapes, colours. Said all of this before making requests such as milk, water, bed which he does do now. Only started saying mummy a month ago, daddy came a few months before!

He's now joining a few words together into phrases eg more milk, bye bye mummy, shoes off but still early days.

Doc, health visitor and nursery aren't worried but we are paying for private speech therapy.

@HeyDuggeesFavouriteSquirrel

My little boy is very similar to yours. He's 2.5 lots of single words, loves the alphabet, numbers, shapes, colours. Said all of this before making requests such as milk, water, bed which he does do now. Only started saying mummy a month ago, daddy came a few months before!

He's now joining a few words together into phrases eg more milk, bye bye mummy, shoes off but still early days.

Doc, health visitor and nursery aren't worried but we are paying for private speech therapy.

Wow they sound extremely similar! That's reassuring though! His first word was a colour and he knew them all at 15 months, shapes at around 21 months! I have been looking at private speech therapists local to us but have gone down the health visitors route for now if we don't get far with it I will look to go private. We have a milk request every now and then but just 'milk' is said. He has also started saying 'bye bye truck' if he sees a truck drive past us but he has never said mummy and only says dadddddeeeeeee when he's excited playing with him! He's also very quiet if we're out at soft play or somewhere his words are even more minimal but he isn't shy he runs up to other children to play chase and is very smiley and happy! It's just as if words escape him! Any small sentences are all repeated sentences so far nothing he has come up with himself. Everyone says 'soon you won't be able to shut him up and you'll miss the quiet' but honestly would rather him be talking my head off and saying mummy every 5 seconds. He has also starter saying draw a circle or draw a sheep but that has purely come from me saying you want mummy to draw a (whatever) mummy's drawing a (whatever) repeatedly xx

Gosh my little boy is exactly the same. When we're out he hardly says a word and what he does say is super quiet!

He didn't start talking until after 2 and at 2.5 we're still mostly on single words. I think he's super bright though and he's the smiliest, most cuddly boy. Similarly he loves other children and is always following his big cousins. I worry other children won't want to be friends with him because his verbal communication is so minimal :(

Anyway, we're getting there and sounds like you are too!

@HeyDuggeesFavouriteSquirrel

Gosh my little boy is exactly the same. When we're out he hardly says a word and what he does say is super quiet!

He didn't start talking until after 2 and at 2.5 we're still mostly on single words. I think he's super bright though and he's the smiliest, most cuddly boy. Similarly he loves other children and is always following his big cousins. I worry other children won't want to be friends with him because his verbal communication is so minimal :(

Anyway, we're getting there and sounds like you are too!

They do sound similar! My son loves his big cousins too! And he has the most infectious laugh! I have the same worry as you in regards to friends but I'm sure they will both get there. Thank you for replying it's very reassuring to know your not alone

As an update to this. My boy is now almost 28 months and has started adding descriptive words so will say yellow bus or white van when he spots them. He can also say mummy daddy grandad and nanny (just working on him using them to get our attention) he's had an observation in nursery who agree there are some gaps but they also dont think I need to worry to much and that he will be fine and get there rather than it be a specific issue which is reassuring! I was also advised for anyone else who sees this that they can learn a word that will sit in there brain but won't actually say or use it for up to 6 months, I found this very reassuring as he has started saying words we've been working on a while now!

@1stTimeBoyMumx thanks for coming back to update, so nice when that happens, too often I'm left wondering and hoping things all work out. Presumably he's still doing well? Going through worrying time with my little one so reading a lot of these threads!! Take care x

Hello! How is your little one doing? My boy is now coming up to 33 months / 2 year 9 months. I'm up and down with my worry to be honest! We're under SALT now, I have some makaton lessons tomorrow actually! He's copying sentences and is definitely improving with his speech but compared to his peers I feel he's falling further behind, we met up with some friends last week and it really does feel like they're having conversations like you and I would in person whereas my son is still nowhere near that! We have loads of single words and he's started saying things like mummy three bears when he wants me to read that book or want to go home when he wants to go home although that's learnt from me saying you want to go home? When he is getting tired or whatever but he knows what they mean! It's worrying isn't it but I'm sure they will get there! I said to my friend yesterday how I have been watching videos of him from 12 months ago and he could only say a couple of words quite literally 2 or 3 and we've moved on so much from there, maybe in 12 months I'll be doing the same and wondering why I was so worried! (I'm hoping so anyway!) we've been told to narrate everything , don't ask questions (for every 4 statements ask one question and if they don't answer model the answer for them) and add words to what they say. I feel like I've always done this but maybe I haven't done it as well as I've thought! Just wish I could take a look into the future to know it all works out so I could be the chilled mum I always thought I would be  x

Hi - @1stTimeBoyMumx is there an update on your son now? Similar worries for my daughter..

@pinkskies110 hello! He's now almost 4 and has come on leaps and bounds! He seems to always catch up enough that no one is majorly concerned! I have asked for us to be referred to pre school development just in case we need it as he's had some troubles in school nursery around his interactions with some of the other children and we see speech and language who have no concerns around his understanding and language, he is where he needs to be for his age! They are trying to help with strategies for him making friends but he's none the wiser he loves all the other kids he just doesn't always show it

Easier said than done I know trust me! But I truly think they do get there in their own time, it took me a while to really appreciate that and not spend my days worrying!

He chats our head off now (I still feel there's a noticeable difference with him and his peers though) and he's such a clever little boy ahead in other aspects, I'm sure your little one will get there in the end too x

Hey, @1stTimeBoyMumx,

Any further updates, sounds identical to my situation at the moment and all I keep hearing is that he needs to be screened for ASD from his nursery.

But his HV has no concerns, we are referred to SALT because he needs grommets for glue ear in Feb, but they thought this would clear the delay. HV and GP have zero concern, but his nursery keeps pushing ASD.

He has similar traits, knows his alphabet and can count to 30, loves cars and has a good few words but they are not the clearest!

@Elleh87 hello! We're kind of stuck at the moment! He's come on leaps and bounds in school nursery currently! He had some socialising issues at the beginning with other children although would come out of school and tell me he played with everyone and tells me all there names (within 2 days he knew all 20 kids names including half the surnames!) we've got a follow up with SALT soon, we were discharged about 6 months ago so it's to check he's still discharge worthy I presume! I still notice a difference with him and his peers but I don't know if this is just his personality to be honest with you! School we're pushing ASD agenda but paeds put us on a 12 month review and said absolutely not! I think if it is and you strongly suspect it is, you really have to push and push with paeds! I have been chasing them for months to review the report from school, advised last week it wouldn't be reviewed until his next appointment in December! (This is a report they requested by the way to decide if he needed a referral!) I said well it will be out of date and irrelevant by then!? Now awaiting a response! We will definitely be to late now to be seen by pre school development should a diagnoses be necessary and will end up on a 5 year wait with neuro!! I just want him to have any help should he need it when he gets to school! How old is your little one? I personally think that my son has autism BUT mildly and I can't tell / invisage if it's something that will require additional support or not! It's a gut feeling if anything! Paeds told me all the things that are a flag to me are typical behaviours in a child! He's the only child Ive seen that does them and acts in the way he acts sometimes! But in saying that he is also good as gold, not a bother for any family who help with childcare and is my favourite person on the planet so I wouldn't change a thing!

Hello @1stTimeBoyMumx do you have another update some months on? I enjoyed reading through this and could really imagine the relief you’ve felt as he’s caught up over the last 2/3 years.

My son has just turned 2 this month and although says roughly 40ish single words, he does seem drastically behind his peers. He can say ‘no mommy’ ‘more juice’ in terms of 2 word sentences but that’s it. I worry as he can say bye bye but not hello, says no but not yes. His understanding is really, really good but I’m always on high alert as his older brother has autism so my anxiety is so high and has been since the day he was born tbh.

I’m always searching for positive outcomes to 2 year olds who catch up with their speech so this thread was great thank you.

Hello @C0l3tt ! Wow this thread took me back I almost forgot about it! He's doing fab, he's seeing SALT in school to help hopefully with his social skills, as far as speech and language is concerned he is fine, he is miles ahead of his peers with his reading writing and maths, definitely lacking in social communication though, I can definitely see improvement! He has been referred to neuro for autism although school say they are certain he will thrive in mainstream school! He is my favourite little person and I still worry about a million things and wish I could see into the future but it's looking much brighter than it felt 1-2 years back! Sounds promising that your little one has a library of words! Hope everything works out well for you ❤️

I got an email about this thread and it was interesting to read back things I had wrote at the time.

Our son is now 6, we deferred his first year of school and rightly so as he was not ready to go to school. We placed him into the school nursery which helped lots in terms of socialisation but we still struggled with regulation which has been much better since starting school but it was rocky at points.

He's under community pediatrics with a query for autism as they think he's on a fine line where he may be missed if assessed now but may not have autism.

Either way he's still quirky, still struggles with food but we've adapted. He struggles with some parties but we know the ones to avoid, he hates being in shops so we shop alone and I would argue his socialisation is entirely different to his peers but he is thriving in other ways.

I remember the real worry I had and whilst I haven't changed my mind, I don't think about it anywhere near as much and taken each change as they come.

I wish you all luck and remember to just take a step back and remind yourselves you will love you bubba no less

@LifeIsBusy thank you so much for coming back to this with that update. Sounds very similar to my son, I think community paeds were adament not to refer because they didn't think he would be diagnosed as he is as the 'traits' are mild. School have put things in place. I don't find him rigid with routine however school do and he has had some wobbles, they have now input an IDP for him including what he needs to help him through his day, they have been absolutely brilliant to be fair! The summer hols threw him off he had gotten really settled in nursery before the break! They are planning an extended transition into each year group for him as he likes to be familiar with people/places. I wouldn't change him for the world, his little quirks are what make him him and I couldn't love him any more! They're perfect as they are 🤣