Strange behaviour of a friend

[Frogusha]

DD1’s best friend is great in almost every way - very smart, can easily hold a level conversation on any topic with an adult (Brexit, Royal family, price of oil, war with Ukraine) - she’s 9. She’s very kind with DD1, no issues with their friendship. But - she comes to our place often and starts going through things. Not just in my daughter’s room, which would be fine. Through kitchen cabinets, through drawers in my room. Never asks if she wants to get something after dinner from the kitchen. It irks me and surprises me greatly; her parents are soft spoke, gentle and polite professionals, I can’t imagine, looking at them, that they’d encourage this behaviour at home. Is it just lack of manners or some sort of disorder? I’m not going to stop the friendship but wonder if I should say something sharp. I tried to make humorous remarks but she doesn’t get the hint. Would you be Ok with this behaviour?

She may not have been given boundaries like that at home. I have friends who's kids have no boundaries at home either. Just say "No going in my room thank you!" and then usher her out. Add "That's my private space"

With the kitchen cabinets, do you mean looking for food? That's sort of for your DD to enforce as much as you. If her friend opens the cupboards, she should say "Mum wants us to ask first"

Thanks #FortunesFave. In the kitchen looking for anything containing sugar, and taking it without asking. Good point, about DD telling her not to do it, but I think both of us are just speechless. If she was just full on horrible child it’d be easier to deal with but in other aspects she’s great, and my DDs are regularly in her house, wining and dining (OK, maybe not wining ;) as DD also knows that she goes there and gets treats (though of course doesn’t look for them herself) it might be hard to say no to her friend.