My three year old struggling with nursery

[sarahhharris]

Hi everyone, I wanted to come on here for some advice or reassurance that my 3 year old is completely normal.

She started nursery in the new year, only three mornings a week. She hates it. Pretty much spends all of the time there crying, won't touch the food and just asks to go home. I feel awful! I'm easing her in as in April I will be back to work (on maternity leave with a 6 month old).

Random Napping: She's started napping during the day, even the days she isn't at nursery she will nap. She hasn't day napped since she was about 2. I pick her up from nursery and she looks drained.

Eating: I have worked out that she is only drawn to eating plain, beige and white foods. I have tried and tried to get her to eat other foods, tomato pasta, cheesy risotto etc and she will not touch it. She either asks for cereal or toast. It's a battle with getting her to eat something different and her getting upset and not eating anything or giving her something I know she will eat so she's eating. Nursery have asked to start giving her other stuff as their menus are quite different to what she eats at home but it's so hard.

Anyone experiencing / experienced the same or similar ? I feel a lot of pressure and just want her to be happy and us to not be stressed at the situations.

Has she been part from you before @sarahhharris? It could just be that she's getting used to being apart and a month isn't long really. What's your gut feeling with the Nursery? Are you happy with the care she receives there?

As for the napping, I personally think it's normal for a busy 3 yo to nap but I know that not every one agrees

If her diet is bland and she is tired, is she getting a good multivitamin daily with added iron?

If she's not taking part in the activities at Nursery and will only eat beige food, it might be worth asking the SENCO at Nursery what they think is going on. Both of these tests can be associated with ASD.

OP, first take a step back and make sure this nursery environment is right for your DC- how many children are in the room? Is it chaotic or overwhelming? Are staff warm and engaging? How are they helping to transition from you in the mornings? You might want to think about a childminder or smaller setting as this just may not suit your DC right now if she continues to be distressed and overwhelmed every day.
Many 3 year olds still need a nap or quiet time at nursery, it can be a very stimulating environment. From your description of your DC with food etc at all sounds pretty normal really, they can be fussy and it normally resolves at school age (just give vitamins and iron drops incase). Xx

Well I'm having a similar problem with my 3 year old, who also hates Pre-School although once she is in I can see through the window that she's fine and happy. The first month of going was hard, a lot of tears and unhappiness and her preschool staff are brilliant. I know because I watch through the windows for a few minutes before ringing the bell to pick her up. They did suggest when she was getting really upset to drop her hours right down to two hours for each of the three mornings she is there and then we have built it back up in 15 minute increases which has worked really well - perhaps ask your nursery if you could something similar.

With the napping, she's probably just shattered from nursery. It absolutely wipes my DD out, I wouldn't worry about it but if she's tired then definitely let her nap as I'm sure you are.

Food, well our excellent eater has turned into a fussy nightmare so it doesn't sound that abnormal to me.

I think it's just a case of hanging in there at this age x