16 MO who pinches / hits my face when tired. What can I do?

[Izabella]

My DD is now 16 months old but for the past few months she suddenly for no reason lashes out at me when we are having a cuddle. This happens mainly before bed and without warning. She will pintch, scratch, hit my face for no reason and pull my hair.

I try saying 'no' firmly and putting her down on the ground immediately but when I go to cuddle her again later the same thing happens. I have even tried giving her a gentle tap on her hand and holding it away from my face but she just laughs. She is such a good natured child but her behaviour in these instances puzzles me. I have always given her cuddles and affection even though she is not a cuddly baby.

Anyone else experience this? What can I do?

Any advice much appreciated. Thanks.

Hi Izabella

You are on the right tracks, put her down, say 'no' firmly and put yourself into 'timeout'- a minute max is fine, it's really all about turning off attention for the unwanted behaviour. No need to tap/smack ever.

Catch her being adorable, as often as you can, masses of paise, and ignore, ignore, ignore the unwanted behaviour.

Keep up the good work !

I don't recall your name, are you new to NM

Masses of praise sorry for typo

Have exactly the same problem!

Hi BALR, I've been on MN since the summer but often just like to read everyone else's posts. It's a brilliant resource, though.

Thanks so much for your advice. Can I just ask what you mean about putting myself into time out? Do you mean giving her no attention / eye contact for 1 min?

All it is she is doing is experimenting, though it's not nice! I agree, put her down and remove attention from her but I think it really only needs to be momentary rather than for a set length of time. What I did with ds was say NO, put him down, go off to another area of the room and get out a toy or something that I'd immediately pass to him to divert him. Worked for me.

'tapping' her hand will only encourage her IMO, it will make it more of a game to her so I'd definitely say don't do that.

Yes, that is it exactly, trot off to make a cup of tea, suddenly become engrossed in scene outside your window, etc, just for that short short period of time.

(I call this Active Ignoring lol)

Happy New Year

Much sympathy from me. My 17 month old DS went through a phase a couple of months ago of being terrible with this. He's done it on and off since before he was one - almost always to me, rarely to DH . He has got better again recently thank god as I was starting to take it personally . The worst thing is when they use implements such as a beaker of water for example - ouch.

As for what to do, I wish I knew for sure, but I have always done the same as you ie say "no" and put down, and all I can say is the problem hasn't got worse. Hopefully they'll grow out of it?