jealous and sad 5 year old

[pippi123]

DD has had a friend to stay who was a bit upset at bedtime. DD very upset by fact that I was cuddling friend and trying to cheer her up. DD seemed jealous - that's OK - but then became very sad saying that I didn't love her and liked other child better than her. DD also wanted to do exact opposite of friend just to see which I'd choose I think and then all sad again. This is first time someone has stayed over with her but she has stayed over with them and been fine. Anyone got any ideas on how I can reassure DD without ignoring upset child???

I think children do this A LOT. It doesn't mean she'll be traumatised for life, honest. It's just part of her jealousy and it's perfectly normal. Had it myself with my stepdaughter when she was younger. They want their friends to stay, but can't help but feel ambivalent about it. YOu didn't do anything wrong, and your dd will recover! She will also get used it - children are always more jealous & possessive on home turf IME, esp the first time.

When ds was jealous and confused because I comforted another child, I explained that the other child needed a mummy to help him, but as his mummy wasn't there I helped instead. Then I gave ds a cuddle and told him that he was my little boy and I was his own mummy and that I loved him better than any of the other boys in the whole world. It seemed to help. I didn't say that I loved him more than I loved the other boy, I didn't say that I loved the other boy at all, just that he needed help.

Thanks - I was a bit worried it meant that she had no sense of security - overreacting mother!!!

I will try the all the little girls in the world idea - it seems a good idea not to refer only to the other child