Toddle tantrums / very stubborn!

[Secondtimemama32]

Are all toddler tantrums completely normal?

My toddler tantrums frequently eg. Everything from not wanting to put wellies on, not wanting to get in the car, refusing to come out outside of back in.

I've got a 6 week old baby and it's starting to really wear me down.

I love him, but he's harder work than the newborn by a long shot

Anyone?

Not all toddler tantrums are normal – some are the early signs of something else going on – but most are just part of typical child development. The triggers you describe don't sound particularly unusual to me.

'Toddler's choice', where you offer them two choices that are both fine with you, often helps reduce tantrums. It gives them an element of control, whilst still achieving what you want, so things like 'Do you want to put on your wellies first or your coat first?', 'Do you want to run to the door or hop like a rabbit?' and so on. I've never quite reached the point of asking my DD which of two identical spoons she'd like, but I totally would if necessary.

I also sympathise with what she's feeling, that she's sad to leave the park when she's having fun or whatever, and say very briefly why we have to do X or Y. Finding something positive about whatever we have to do also really helps for us – often just something tiny, that we'll go past a digger on the way home, or we have strawberries for lunch, and so on.

Your DS might also have a shorter fuse than usual because he got a new sibling 6 weeks ago – it's such a big change for a little one.

@skkyelark

Not all toddler tantrums are normal – some are the early signs of something else going on – but most are just part of typical child development. The triggers you describe don't sound particularly unusual to me.

'Toddler's choice', where you offer them two choices that are both fine with you, often helps reduce tantrums. It gives them an element of control, whilst still achieving what you want, so things like 'Do you want to put on your wellies first or your coat first?', 'Do you want to run to the door or hop like a rabbit?' and so on. I've never quite reached the point of asking my DD which of two identical spoons she'd like, but I totally would if necessary.

I also sympathise with what she's feeling, that she's sad to leave the park when she's having fun or whatever, and say very briefly why we have to do X or Y. Finding something positive about whatever we have to do also really helps for us – often just something tiny, that we'll go past a digger on the way home, or we have strawberries for lunch, and so on.

Your DS might also have a shorter fuse than usual because he got a new sibling 6 weeks ago – it's such a big change for a little one.

Lovely message. Thank you for taking the time to reply