Hello all,
After some non judgemental advice please!
I have 3 children. 4yo, 2yo and an almost 4 month old.
My 2yo has been quite delayed on a lot of milestones. Fully aware children do things at their own time but he only started fully walking recently (he's 28 months) and even still he's not 100% yet. He still tumbles over and crawls a bit still. HV not too concerned as he's now "walking". He doesn't talk much either. He says "ar" for car, calls everyone daddy, he can say his brothers name (kind of), says ball and bubble. That's about it. I've tried desperately to teach him "important" words. Such as "mummy", "drink", "food" etc. He just doesn't seem to interested. He's completely different from my 4yo when he was his age and to be completely honest, I don't know how to deal with him sometimes. When he wants food or drinks, he'll lead me to the snack cupboard or point to a bottle for a drink. I'm always trying to use like 1-2 word long sentences to not overwhelm him but doesn't seem to help. I do this every day. So far no progress but I'll keep going.
My biggest issue is that I think because he doesn't have much of a vocabulary, he doesn't know how to tell us what's wrong (if it's not food or drink). So he quite often just what I call "scream cries" where he's just screaming and crying at the top of his lungs. Completely inconsolable. And NOTHING works. Offer him food, drinks, toys, cuddles, we even try ignoring him sometimes. All of these things just make him worse. He will scream and cry more. When he's not like this. He's such a sweet funny boy, he'll happily with cars, balls etc. But when he's screaming and crying at the top of his lungs and I'm trying to breastfeed my 4 month old and my 4yo is in my ear asking for something, I get overwhelmed. And I hate to say it, but sometimes I'll just stick him in his cot until he's calmed down. I feel so so guilty for doing this, but I'm only human and I just get so frustrated and overwhelmed with it that I just don't know what else to do. I just think this is a bad concoction of terrible 2s and not being able to tell us what's up.
I always try to give him the benefit of the doubt because he can't tell us what's wrong but when it's everyday and like I said 99% of the time he's inconsolable when he's like this I just can't cope.
I struggle with post partum depression and anxiety which I developed after my first was born. Was prescribed medicine which worked but found after my 3rd that it doesn't seem to work as well anymore.
Has anyone got any advice at all on what I can do. He's been like this for so so long. It's frustrating because I've spoken to his HV about it but all I get is "it's normal, it's a phase, it'll pass" it's been a "phase" for over a year now. In fact, a lot of family members comment on the fact that he just seems like an angry baby/toddler. In fact, when he had just turned 2 and still wasn't walking, I was told to see a Physiotherapist. Which I went to one appointment with him and never went back. Because this was when I had a newborn baby I had to bring with me as well. My 2yo spent the whole appointment screaming and crying at the top of his lungs. The physiotherapist even said "is he always like this, is this behaviour normal for him" etc.
I really don't know what to do. I feel so guilty because I truly don't know how to deal with him.
Any advice at all please.
And sorry for the long post! Just needed to get a lot off my chest. Thanks for reading!!