Underweight, picky 2 year old - I'm STRESSED

[TBC45678]

My 27 month old is just getting so so skinny, it's stressing me out so much. He's always been 9th centile for weight and 25th for height and has dropped to 3rd centile for weight but stayed 25th for height. And that 3rd centile weight is with his clothes on (not sure if you're supposed to weigh them naked at this age - if I did I'm sure he'd be off the bottom of the chart).

I think this is more my issue than his. He's happy and hitting all his milestones, but can be very picky/just refuses to eat sometimes. When he's in a good phase he'll eat whatever I put in front of him, but when he's being picky it's a battle to get him to eat peanut butter toast! He's also picking up every bug that's going and ALWAYS loses his appetite/throws up which undoes all the good eating he might have done beforehand. Since he got covid over Christmas his appetite has been so small.

Any tips/comforting words? I'm trying to not make meal times a battle, but I'm falling into the trap of bribing him to eat, or giving biscuits etc just so I know he's getting something. If he was chunkier I'd be more relaxed but I'm finding it really hard to chill out about it and it's upsetting me to see his ribs and spine :(

Don't really know what I want from posting, but my husband doesn't really get it and I need to vent! I should set up a small toddlers support group, lol.

No advice but I’d join your support group 😂 my 20 month old is a tiny, fussy eater too

Welcome @Vicky1989x ! I just find it hard that he's so small - I know all the right things to do: don't offer alternatives, don't bribe etc, but I feel like those rules are written for people with chubbier kids who don't need to worry about weight gain.

@TBC45678 I know what you mean. People always tell me things like ‘if she doesn’t eat a meal don’t offer anything else until the next meal’ but I feel so bad because she’s so small it’s hard to know what the right thing is when they’re on the small side.

I read something which said if they refuse a meal, wait 30 mins before offering something else, that way they don't link refusing with getting something else in their mind. I've been giving him bedtime snacks - peanut butter toast etc, when he's had a bad eating day. But I don't know if that's a bad habit too!

@TBC45678 it’s hard to know what’s right isn’t it? You don’t want your kid going hungry but at the same time worry about creating bad habits

Will he drink smoothies? You could make smoothies with veggies, fruit etc

When we adopted my then 2.5 year old

I think if there's significant dropping of hia weight you should be talking to a doctor. I would normally also recommend insisting that he sits and eats his meals and no further food is offered. However, in his case I'd go the other way as it seems to be affecting his growth. I'd have foods as constantly available as possible and try not to make a big deal of whether he's eating or not (easier said than done I know) Don't panic and try not to make it an issue or he'll just get worse xx

@TeenPlusCat that actually looks quite similar to what we do already - he has two breakfasts as that's when he seems most hungry. And if he's not eaten much lunch or dinner I give him a bedtime snack too, plus milk.

Yes @Jannt86 I was thinking I'd get a GP appointment for him, or request a health visitor check up. My gut instinct is that he's fine, but it would be good to check. I think this winter has just been really difficult in terms of him picking up lots of bugs, including covid which knocked him hard, and he always loses his appetite when he's sick.