22 month old - Speech delayed

[Hopitihop]

Hello all,

I have a 22month old DD. She is bilingual, we speak our language at home and she is exposed to English at nursery that she attends full time.

Her speech is very delayed since she was a baby. She was a late babbler (didn't start making any sounds until 14 months), she was not blowing bubbles, she pointed with the index late.

At the moment she has about 10-15 words, out of which only 5 are clear and she uses them consistently. The other ones are just her saying the first syllable of the word or a sound that we know what she means by it but no-one else would understand.

I know around 8 other babies that were born at the exact same time as she was (NCT group) and they are all doing small talk, making 2-3 word sentences and are clearly speaking. I have no-one around that their child has speech issues.

This is all very frustrating because:

1. I can't communicate with her as I should/wanted given her age
2. I am worried that something is wrong
3. I can't stop comparing her with the other little ones

She had a hearing test 6 months ago and all was fine. She had that early as I was insisting at the HV when she was 14 months that she is behind.

HVs, GPs etc. all say to give her time but I don't have any more patience, I need some help as I know she is behind!

Given that she is full time at nursery 5 days a week, I can't do much at home and I am not a specialist as well. When she is at home we talk a lot, sing, read books etc. since she was very little but she is still behind.

Also, just a note, that her understanding is great and she is meeting all other milestones. When I tell her, where is this or bring me that, she does everything. She responds well to her name and everything seems normal apart from her ability to say words and phrases.

I know my baby needs help and no-one is taking me seriously. Everyone says wait and see. I did a self referral 3 days ago at the local SALT but I know from now that they will come back and say "wait and see".

Also, her nursery key worker agrees that she is behind and said to observe for a few more months.

Please advise as this whole thing is driving me mad as it started a year ago!

I was in the same boat as you when my son was that age!

Things that helped me:

• It Takes Two to Talk (Hanen). You can get this book off Amazon. It gets recommended on this site a LOT but turns out for good reason. Gives you lots of good tips for encouraging speech, especially if your LO has good receptive language (that's great she can understand a lot - that's important!)
• Play2Talk (website) and An Early Start for your Child With Autism (book, again on Amazon). Don't be put off by the fact these play activities are designed for children with autism if you don't think that's what's going on, I really think they are great ways to encourage any child to use their voice more. If you DO think autism is a possibility, then these are gentle but impactful play-based activities to get your child interested in language - both are based on something called the Early Start Denver Model. I kick myself daily for not reading this book months earlier as it's had such a big impact on the way I communicate with my son to encourage speech.

In a few months he went from having very poor receptive, much less expressive, language to using language to request things, share interests (in books, on walks, in play) and he's building his vocabulary and use of language on an almost daily basis now. His pronunciation still needs work, but I'm hoping that's a minor issue that will sort itself out over time with all the practice he's now getting using his words.

There's every chance there's nothing wrong and your LO is just taking her time learning to talk (she is still young), but the above materials are great for giving them a little boost and making learning more fun and impactful for them and can't do any harm.

Thank you @Scratchybaby!

That's really helpful and I just ordered the books, hopefully they will do the trick that they did to your little one.

May I also please ask how old is yours and if you manage to have any speech and language therapy to improve speech?

Or was it just improved by you following the books and the website you mentioned above?

Also, is your little one going to the nursery? Mine is going full time and I don't know if it does harm to her speech development instead of good as there is no 1:1 focus in there.

My DS is just shy of 3yo, and attended nursery full time. I've recently reduced that though because, like you, I'm wondering if the lack of 1:1 time isn't great for him. Whenever he spends an extended period of time at home for holidays, family things, etc, he always seems to make another good leap in his development. He might just like the slower pace and undivided attention!

For us - and this is only our experience so could be different for you - just trying out the simpler tricks in the books (leaving out words for them to fill in books and songs, breaking down routines into steps, narrating each step and creating opportunities for him to say key words) made the major breakthrough for us in that he finally started LISTENING and started to find the fun and the purpose to language.

That was at 2.5 when I first read the books, and since then I did actually go out and find an ABA tutor for him to help speed up the progress. I say ABA, but it's really just the methods outlined in the books. I did this mainly because, while he was already beginning to make progress, he did show enough possible signs of autism (I still don't know and there's a long wait for assessment) that I thought it was worth a more focused effort. It could be that for your DD, at 22 months and with good receptive language skills, the little boost that the books can provide is all it takes to get her going!

And actually - re-reading your original post - I totally empathise with how you're feeling when you say you've been driving yourself mad for the last year! I spent ages driving myself crazy Googling for answers to what might be going on, no sleep, no appetite, distracted at work. If absolutely nothing else, these books did give me some positive activities to focus all that nervous energy on that were actually helpful for my DS! My DS is now finally learning to talk, and I have to say my mental health is a million miles better too, now that I feel like I'm doing the best I can for him. There's a whole lot to be said for channeling your energies into something positive!

I was in a similar situation to you. My daughter had fab receptive language from before age 1 and by 18MO pretty much nothing got past her. However her expressive language was always lagging a bit. She started talking in sentences a few weeks before turning 2 after really not saying a lot (apart from randomly saying 'daddy I want more' literally once at 16MO ) By 2.5 she was literally conversational and talking in really long sentences and has not shut up since. Now at almost 4 she can be a bit difficult to understand still at times but is very articulate. I will add as well that she recites literally tonnes of nursery rhymes, many of which I haven't even sung to her since she was a baby and I thought she wasn't paying attention. I'll add as well that she's incredible with jigsaws etc, has been able to write her own name since just turned 3 and also ride a pedal bike no stabilisers since just turned 3. I think some kids are just thinkers before they do and their little brains are taking on so so much at this age that they all take different paths to get the end result. From my observations yes there are some kids who have genuine developmental delays but on the whole most reach a similar level by school age. I think you should be really reassured that your LO understands well as it's a good indication that the expressive will come. Give her til she's at least 2 then reassess things as frustrating as it is. Xx

OP - very sorry to jump on your thread but wanted to ask @Scratchybaby - do you know if the ‘more than words’ or ‘it takes two to talk’ books by Hanen are better? I noticed you mentioned your LO had poor receptive as well as expressive language and we are in a similar situation. Also do you think it’s worth getting ‘An early start for your child with autism’ in addition to the Hanen books- does it add anything extra? X

I'd only read It Takes Two to Talk - it must have been the first one to come up on Amazon and I just went with it!

The Early Start book goes into much greater depth into how to get your LOs attention and engagement in play and language you use with them, as you would expect for a book focusing specifically on autism. It really depends on what you need and want, but for us the Early Start book is what made the difference.

You can get both books on Kindle so you can read a sample first to see what you think? I'm no expert and haven't read everything there is to read out there, I just know the Early Start book really helped us get the ball rolling. He's not speaking in full sentences yet, but from where he was just a few months ago the progress has been great. He is SO focused and determined now to learn new words and phrases and loves showing off his new skills to us at every opportunity, it's just wonderful to watch

Also, everything @Jannt86 said is very wise. I don't want to scare anyone into thinking they have a problem that can only be fixed with loads of extra work! A child under two does still have plenty of time to get there! I just found these books and strategies helpful for us, and if you're worrying yourself sick over a late talker there are some positive things you can do to give them a little boost. It's just as important to stop stressing and remember to enjoy the time you spend with them

It can be really frustrating and worrying when they're late to talking - but you ultimately can't force her to speak before she is ready - it sounds really positive if she is understanding you well - as usually expressive skills do follow, some children are just later to get going and it's good she has some words you say 10-15 that you understand - these do all count as words even if others can't understand them at this stage

There's no harm getting some early advice and the Hanen take two to talk book is really good!

Does she use gesture? Have you tried modelling any gesture / sign alongside words? This doesn't take anything away from talking and can just help ease any frustration for both of you whilst she is still developing her vocal skills

@Hopitihop how has your little one come on?