Constantly rejected

[Maxh]

I'm not sure this is the right place to ask but I'm really struggling and hope someone can offer maybe some insight or advice.

My daughter turned 4 in September, since she was a young baby I've very very rarely been able to console her when she's upset or in pain. Only mummy is good enough when she's upset or hurt, to the extent that she shouts screams and demands that I go away.
I feel like a failure as a father despite knowing that I'm otherwise doing a good job, we get on well all other times, we play, read, draw, sing, cook bake, eat and otherwise have fun together.
I'm at my wits end and don't know what to do, I feel useless and very much rejected, I try to remind myself that she's just a child and isn't trying to hurt me.

Hi @Maxh

If it's any consolation my DD is very much like this and still is - you sound like a very involved father and I wouldn't worry. Just concentrate on what you can do with her and the rest will come in time. My DH could do very little with our DD activity-wise at that age as she would prefer me and it was as black and white as that! He'd have loved to be able to do things with her but she just wouldn't cooperate. She is getting better now she's older. HTH 🙂

Thanks for the kind response, I do believe that in all likelyhood you're correct, this morning my OH was out with the dog when our DD woke, after the tantrum and flood of tears and being screamed at to go away we had a great day the three of us together and this evening I was allowed to read two books with her before bedtime. It really is only when she's upset or hurt that I get completely rejected, something that is incredibly hard to deal with. In the occasions where my OH is not there a DD hurts herself, feels unwell or is otherwise upset there's nothing I can do to try and comfort her. She gets more and more worked up and unless I follow her screamed instructions to go away she'll escalate and start pushing then hitting unless I at the absolute minimum put some space in between us if not leave the room entirely. I'd like to think and hope it's just a phase, but it's a phase that's been constant her entire life so far... I just wish there was a way I could console my DD without the rejection I suffer and the increased irritatation and anger she seems to feel when all I wish to do is be there for her.