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Please help me understand this behaviour

4 replies

TheAverageUser · 20/12/2021 10:14

Hi all,

My oldest son is just turned four and I'm really struggling to understand his behaviour sometimes. He is an incredibly sweet and loving little boy and I wouldn't say in general his behaviour at home is bad (although DH would disagree). From the moment he came out he had all the energy in the world and we can't get him to sit down to concentrate on anything and his nursery are finding the same.

I came on to ask about a trip we had to Santa yesterday. He was beside himself excited about meeting the big man obviously but he:

  • Gets on the floor and starts crawling around like a baby when we're meant to be looking at the elves doing a little 'bit'
  • Climbs into all the displays
  • Doesn't really look at the mini 'performances' just shouts loudly at me or tries to pull down whatever decorations they have
  • Kicking the walls

I found it a bit upsetting because then I end up just holding him or picking him up to stop the behaviour because he's wrecking the performance for everyone.

My question I suppose is this normal 4 year old behaviour? If you were out what would you do to help him? I tried diverting his attention to the acts or the activity (i.e. making letters to Santa).

He does it if he's in a group activity, he just becomes completely 'silly' like he doesn't know how to deal with the excitement or anxiety or whatever strong emotion he's having. I really want to do the best for him and I just don't know if I'm meant to be punitive here or if he's not coping in another way.

Sorry it's so long and massive thank you if you got this far x

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Confusedandworried321 · 20/12/2021 21:17

Bless him, and you. That doesn’t sound typical to me OP, I wouldn’t necessarily expect a just turned 4 year old to have superb concentration but the other disruption I would say is a flag. I’m not surprised you find it upsetting.

He might have some neurodivergence, autism or ADHD or similar. If I was you I’d look into it and see if you think any of the behaviours fit.

TheAverageUser · 20/12/2021 21:55

Thanks for your reply @Confusedandworried321

I definitely have considered ADHD before, I suppose I was hoping it wasn't but I will take a look. Id love to know how to properly help him when he does this because he's normally such a lovely, kind and gentle boy. He goes completely out of character. Thanks again, Merry Christmas Xmas Smile

OP posts:
CP2701 · 20/12/2021 23:43

My daughter has ADHD, she was diagnosed at 6. I remember her being 4 and literally crawling about shops etc. Sometimes she would pretend to be an animal, sometimes she just wanted to Crawl. I remember wondering if it was normal too (she was my first). The minute she started school, they had the red flags out and pulled me in. She's a lovely 17 year old now and much better behaved than a lot of her peers!

TheAverageUser · 21/12/2021 06:58

Thank you @CP2701 is there anything I can do to help him now? Do the school help you manage it or did you get any good books/ classes?

Thanks again for your reply Smile

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