Neuro typical?!

[ZooKeeper123]

Hi,

I’m after some help as I feel like I’m going round and round in circles in my head... and Googling like mad...

My 10 year old daughter is...

-Fairly bright (higher end of middle groups)
-Loves to be around people
-Has sensitivities to clothes
Has to turn her clothes inside out a few times before putting anything on to check for spiders
-Won’t sit on our sofa (at all, for YEARS) because she’s convinced her sister leaves bogies on it
-Often doesn’t understand jokes, has to ask why we’re laughing and why it’s funny

• doesn’t really “get” people’s facial expressions...often thinks the worst if people are looking at her ...for example if she had a new coat and she saw someone lookin go she’d be convinced they hate it.

-has had suicidal thoughts -can be anxious

• pulls faces/picks her fingers when she’s feeling uncomfortable.
• still eats with her fingers unless constantly reminded
• petrified of getting “bugs” if anyone else around her feels ill

Reading the above.... would you say she is neuro typical?! I have suspicions she is autistic but don’t know if I’m barking up the wrong tree?!
She’s under cahms for anxiety. They haven’t mentioned autism but she’s definitely a masker if she does have anything.
If we go private it’s so much money and I still might be none the wiser 🤦🏼‍♀️

Thanks so much in advance,

Stressed out Mumma

Bump 😥

I'd say that it's definitely worth getting her referred for an assessment with a Paediatrician.

What do school say? If you can get them to refer you to Caudwell Children their assessment is free if you have a household income under £45k and you get an answer within 3 months.

Thank you so much for taking time to reply!!! Originally school didn’t see anything....but the they did refer to cahms when she started having self harm thoughts...I got the impression it was asd they thought...but cahms only have assessed for anxiety...they seem reluctant to screen for autism ...which I kind of get...as my daughter is functioning very well...there are much worse cases...but she IS still struggling, so surely deserves help ..

What stands out for me is that she needs jokes explaining, that is so typical ASD. Although my son was the other way around, he always felt the need to explain jokes to us :-D The sensitivity to clothes in very typical too along with anxiety - my son always wants to eat with his fingers, especially salad, not sure if that's an asd thing or not!

Mine was diagnosed just before secondary school and it was at secondary school that it became a lot more obvious. Unfortunately CAHMS are not fit for purpose, we were very lucky and didn't have to go through them (postcode lottery), my son saw an autism specialist and was diagnosed the same day.

My advice would be to write down everything you notice and read up on asd and aspergers syndrome. You say she loves to be around people so watch how she interacts with others - is she overly friendly, stand too close to people, struggle to know when to speak and when to listen or tend to speak over others. Does she talk at people about things she is really interested in (does she have any 'special interests' or things she is obsessed with?) does she not notice if people aren't really listening to her or interested in what she's saying, does she realise when people are being sarcastic, does she take things very literally. These social things are what are really important in an ASD assessment as the social issues are what are required for diagnosis, so definitely think long and hard about if you've noticed any of these things and perhaps put it down to her age when she was younger or she may still do some of them now. Write everything down though because it will be so helpful even if the asd diagnosis doesn't come until later.

@Tal45

What stands out for me is that she needs jokes explaining, that is so typical ASD. Although my son was the other way around, he always felt the need to explain jokes to us :-D The sensitivity to clothes in very typical too along with anxiety - my son always wants to eat with his fingers, especially salad, not sure if that's an asd thing or not!

Mine was diagnosed just before secondary school and it was at secondary school that it became a lot more obvious. Unfortunately CAHMS are not fit for purpose, we were very lucky and didn't have to go through them (postcode lottery), my son saw an autism specialist and was diagnosed the same day.

My advice would be to write down everything you notice and read up on asd and aspergers syndrome. You say she loves to be around people so watch how she interacts with others - is she overly friendly, stand too close to people, struggle to know when to speak and when to listen or tend to speak over others. Does she talk at people about things she is really interested in (does she have any 'special interests' or things she is obsessed with?) does she not notice if people aren't really listening to her or interested in what she's saying, does she realise when people are being sarcastic, does she take things very literally. These social things are what are really important in an ASD assessment as the social issues are what are required for diagnosis, so definitely think long and hard about if you've noticed any of these things and perhaps put it down to her age when she was younger or she may still do some of them now. Write everything down though because it will be so helpful even if the asd diagnosis doesn't come until later.

Thank you so much! This is exactly what I was looking for!! You’ve made me a little lighter with a “plan” in place! Hope you have a wonderful Christmas!

I took my son to be assessed for ASD or ADHD and in our 6 month follow up recently they asked about mental health, suicidal thoughts and sleep. They said these are markers that need to be looked at further.

@Hirewiredays Thank you. These are just the things I needed to hear. I hope your son is doing ok! X

Yes thank you, he doesn't have those markers so they said that he will improve with time and mature. We live abroad. They seemed to focus on those markers as what warrants further assessment and investigation, in particular the mental health one. I wish you all the best in this testing and difficult time!