Is this how 4 year olds behave…I’m struggling

[Chillichoc77]

My daughter seems to get annoyed/angry very quickly over the slightest thing.
It ranges from her making a mistake whilst drawing to her little brother (2) pulling her hair.
She can get hysterical quite quickly, tears, screaming, tantrum, you name it. We’ve had this every day this week sometimes 2-3 times in a day.
She’s starting to hit out now at me, her brother who she pushes a lot, throws toys in his face, Scratches his face too.

It seems to have gotten worse over the last few weeks. She feels her brother gets all the attention, which isn’t so. I spend time doing stuff together and individually; playing games, crafts, playground trips, baking etc…

I split up with their dad earlier this year, could all this be having an impact now?

There’s been no concerns raised at school. But it’s coming to the point I’m dreading these 2 weeks Christmas holidays (I feel awful 😞 saying that) because I know everyday will feel like a battle.

Her personality is shy and quiet. She can focus on tasks and activities at school. She enjoys playing with other kids.
Sometimes I look at her and she doesn’t seem happy.

When she was two, there wasn’t many tantrums, even at three. But now at four and a half, it feels really full on.

What do I do?

It sounds pretty normal to me OP. How often is he pulling her hair though? I must say, I'd get very angry if someone pulled my hair too.

How do you deal with him when he does things like that? Are you very firm and immediate with the "no!" or not?

@FortunesFave, ok this is normal. I was starting to really worry. He probably pulls her hair every other day. He pulls my me too, I’m hoping this phase ends soon!
He gets a firm no from me, I hold his hands and say no pulling hair, not nice, we don’t pull hair. Things along those lines.

I just worry because my daughter can really get herself worked up easily.

In January I’m going to look for after school activities and Saturday activities. Hoping this will help her being active and around others. She does enjoy playing with others and loves her crafts.

Hi Op… school tiredness has a massive impact on how they cope at home .. I take it your DD has just started school, the run up to Christmas is exhausting for them, really hyped up by all the ( lovely ) things they do at school and that results in meltdowns at home. If she’s going between households that will add to the tired/ unsettled feelings plus any illness which has been constant from school this year! It’s all ok - just take a step back, deep breath and look at the context for her, it will likely pass xxx

Thank you @Genevie82 . I’m the OP.
Yes, she started in September and took a couple months to settle in after morning drop offs.

The kids dad come and visit them at mine.
I’ll see how this week goes, today was actually a nicer day than the last few. No tantrums, she got upset understandably when her brother pulled her hair. I really really wish this phase will pass quickly.
She’s very tired and today did say she did t feel well but couldn’t say exactly what. So I’m seeing how we go through the night.

I think I do worry because the family unit spilt last year. She started school this year and her brother does need a lot from me, so I can see she feels left out sometimes.

Thank you.

You’re welcome 😀.. I’ve a DC same age and a 2 year old and there’s a lot of drama between them at times ! .. my Dc has been exhausted past few weeks with the build up from school and I’ve had a weekend full of tantrums since he’s broken up - today was the first one he’s been fresh and relaxed and it’s been lovely! .. a lot of my friends also have kids similar age and it’s all pretty normal (unfortunately!) X