Advice needed fast - neighbour complaining about my ds's.

[cornsilk]

My neighbour has put a note through my door complaining about the noise my ds's make. (No Xmas card I noticed!) He's done it once before last year just after he moved in. He has a dd who stays a few times a week and I can hear her, but she never has anyone over to play with so it's just her and him. My ds's have friends over at least once a week and do play running about games. My ds1 can scream and shout - he gets very frustrated - has been assessed as being in 'high risk' group for AS. What should I say? I'm always conscious of the noise they make anyway as he's complained before but I really think he's being unrealistic.

Yes I'm very tempted. Did write a letter along the lines of 'Some people put cards through their neighbours doors at Xmas' but had 2nd thoughts!

It is usually between the hours of 4 and 7. No wonder he's divorced.

exactly cornsilk! I think he's being totally unreasonable and unrealistic; children will make noise; if it was going on all evening, every evening I can see it would be annoying but if they're in bed at a reasonable hour as they clearly are, then he will just have to accept that is life.

I do try to retain some understanding that adults without children are also entitled to a life and to quiet enjoyment of their house, so I try and vary things in the summer so that ds and I are not out in the garden making a noise every single evening, and I wouldn't allow him to knock balls at walls, annoyingly, for hours on end. But basically young kids are going to be stopping any noise by early evening anyway so I think that's fine!

If this were me I'd just send him a christmas card in return thanking him for his good wishes at this time of year

Tbh if he wished to live without the reasonable noise of children then he needs to move somewhere where he can be sure to be far enough away from neighbours so as not to be disturbed.

What an ar$e. Write a xmas card and pop it back through his door. Kill with kindness. Honestly - if it was late in the evening or something fine but if you live in a house with an ajoining wall then that's life. And presumably you lived there before he moved in - he could have researched the area better if he didn't want to live next door to kids. I actually feel sorry for his daughter - I think you should invite her round to join in next time.

Point out that you "frequently hear his daughter, (even if you don't), as the walls adjoining are so thin in these modern houses. It's a shame, isn't it? Merry Christmas."

god I'm sorry to hear that. What a prat. I thought you were going to say "at six in the morning..."

If he wants silence at these hours, he'll have to move to a detatched house in the middle of Dartmoor. Suggest polite and cheerfully ignoring response along the lines of "so sorry the children's playing disturbs you - I'm sure you remember how boys can be! "

Invite him over to hold them down while you staple them to the floor and gag them.
That should shut him up
And say you've been dying for an offer of help ta very much.

Thanks for all your advice. Dh went round and explained that ds1 had 'ishoos' - tho' I really wanted to tell him to get a life. Apparently he was very apologetic etc. I think I may have to start having very loud sex with dh.