Moody 4 year old

[november90]

I just need some reassurance/experience.
My son is 4, almost 5 and in reception.
I'm struggling with his moods atm. When he's upset about something he gets really moody and says silly/mean things as a way of lashing out. He is a lovely sweet boy, to me, but he just doesn't behave like that in front of others. For example, shouting he doesn't want to play with people at school or running away from them and ignoring them.
The other day his friend won the golden award at school and my son came up to me and said, I front of said boy and his dad, that the boy didn't deserve it and he should've got it.
He hates sharing and gets really bossy and worked up SO easily.
He's always been partial to a tantrum, but his attitude arm just absolutely stinks and I just don't know why to do about it.
I talk to him about being kind ALL the time, literally always praising him when he's kind, talking about how others feel, reading books, showing affection but I am just getting nowhere. It's like he likes to be angry.
To me he's a lovely little cuddly thing who I love deerly.... but to others he's just mean :(

Can you role play situations or tell him stories about when you had feelings like jealousy?

Ime this is a loooong term and I remember how crazy my kids used to get before the end of term. After Christmas, they'd be back to normal
while I struggled with the longest and dreariest month of the year

Some of it is immaturity, but you're not unreasonable to point out when he's being unreasonable. Is he pretty empathetic and able to understand how he'd feel if the tables were reversed ?

How's he getting along in the playground? Ask him about what happens when he "sulks" How can he deal with this feelings better? Has he seen someone deal with things well? Ime it's a place where there are lots of arguments and how to deal with others being unreasonable is an important skill that they are working on right now.

It's like he just doesn't care what people think of him! Don't get me wrong he's great in social situations and he loves playing with boys etc..... but he just isn't bothered about upsetting Poe Poe or how it makes them feel :(

I know I'm painting him in a bad light. He is my little superstar and I love everything about him but not many people see that!

That sounds tough. My DS can be like this, and was like it at that age too. He’s 6 now. He does have a few good friends and seems to like other children in his class, but he can be very grumpy / oppositional, for what seems like the sake of it.

Although last year, his friend got the player of the week trophy at football club (they were 5 at the time) and my DS was genuinely so happy for his friend, which was lovely to see. That was a rare occasion though.

If I’m honest I think my DS probably has ADHD or is on the spectrum.