How do your dc behave when you have their friends over to play/for a sleepover?

[Earlybird]

DD (6.10) gets over-excited, extremely silly, selective deafness increases dramatically, and she can be quite demanding/rude to me. I find myself in the role of referee ('no, you can't throw those balls down the stairs' etc when she knows that isn't allowed and would never do it when we're alone). I become increasingly grumpy as she treats me dismissively, and like the skivvy who is there to simply facilitate her playdate. I don't want the role of 'bad Mummy', nor do I want the role of servant.

Anyone else? I often feel I'm 'spoiling' her good time with a face like thunder and a post-play date lecture that sucks the good feeling out of her afternoon. But my little girl becomes unrecognisable when her friends are here! Is there a way to handle in advance so the situation doesn't arise? Or a way to handle a situation in progress to stop it escalating?

My 2 dcs had a friend each to sleepover last night. They've been up since 4.50am.

Normally I am Hitler-like about them going to sleep, but as it's holiday time and was dd's birthday I decided to chill out this time and let them get on with it! It's taken many years to get to that stage though.

Go into another room with a book and a gin and tonic and shut the door?

Seriously - I try really hard to pick my battles when the dcs have friends round. It does help to have very low standards!

Perfectly normal, unfortunately! I found the best solution to the sleepover thing was to 'play cinemas'. DVD, popcorn, chairs in a row, curtains closed. Calms them down a bit, anyway.

Oh yes my dds (6 and 7) tries to treat me like a servant when her friends come round. Last time it happpened I gave them a seriously hard time after that time though and told them we would not have friends round if they didn't mend their ways. And since then they've been ok.

But it's so annoying, as you say I don't want to be constantly telling them off in front of their friends, but they can't take advantage of that.

I have visions of the guest child going home and reporting that I'm 'not a very nice mummy'. I want dd to enjoy having her friends over, and want them to have a great time playing together. But usually playdates are an endurance contest for me because of dd's behaviour.

Interestingly, I don't think she behaves this way when she is a guest at someone elses' home.