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Behaviour/development

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How do I wean my DD off the boob?

14 replies

wikikki · 17/12/2007 22:16

Hi there Mums. Has anyone got any advice on weaning my 17 month dd off the boob? I still haven't had a period + the doc thinks it's because I'm still BF. I'd like to have another baby so weaning seems to be my only option. Please help!

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hidingbehindthesofa · 17/12/2007 22:56

ooh hard.. i have a very nearly 17mo and want to get pregnant again so have cut down to 1 feed a day in the morning. in the end i just read her stories at night instead of feeding - she cried a couple of times for a feed but didn't go on and doesn't seem to miss it now. i just spent more time talking to her and sitting there when she was crying for the boob and she seemed to get over it quite quickly. distracting her with toys or food also worked.
good luck.

wikikki · 18/12/2007 12:49

Thanks for that, I'll give it a go. It's good to know we're not alone in this! Good luck, hope you're successful.

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LiegeAndLief · 18/12/2007 12:55

My ds is 16 months and still having a feed in the morning but we weaned him fairly successfully off the evening feed a month ago. He would normally have a bf and a story before bed, so dh gave him a (small!) biscuit - ds is a sucker for any kind of food, especially biscuits - and a cup of warmed cow's milk with his story instead. He wasn't very keen on the milk initially but soon got the idea. After a week we dropped the biscuit and now he will go to sleep quite happily with a cup of milk and a story from either of us.

How many times are you feeding? I had my first period shortly after dropping to one feed a day, so maybe you don't have to give up completely if you don't want to. Good luck!

cherryredretrochick · 18/12/2007 13:03

How often is she feeding, for how long? Do you want to wean her completly or just enough to get your body back to normal? Does she eat well?

wikikki · 18/12/2007 17:32

Hi Mums, thanks so much for your help.
DD didn't have any daytime feeds for 2 weeks but then started teething again + has been on the boob loads for the last week or so. I'm hoping to stop day feeds as soon as teething calms down. The nights aren't great - she wakes fairly frequently - every 2-3 hours or so + has a quick suck before going back to sleep again. She ends up in our bed every night, but we've just bought a toddler bed in the hope that she'll sleep in her own bed without wanting feeds before too long - will it ever happen?!!
I'd only like to wean her enough to have periods again in order to have another baby.
She usually eats well - 3 or 4 meals a day with snacks in between. She also likes to drink cows milk from a cup. I suppose she wants to BF mainly in the evening + at night or nap times, for comfort.

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cherryredretrochick · 18/12/2007 17:51

For a start you do not need to give her night feeds at all, if you want to that is fine but she does not need them. I would wean her off these first, offer her a cup of water instead she will soon be bored and not bother waking up for it. I thinkl it is lovely that want to still feed your baby and try for another. One step at a time, if you remove the night feeds and then cut down, no more than one feed a week so you end up only feeding at night and nap time (if these are the feeds you enjoy most). You may not have to cut down that much and may find if you stop the night feeds your periods start again. When you are feeding your cycle is slightly different so you actually ovulate later than day 14. the best way to check this out when you get to that stage is to use ovulation sticks. I think it is about day 18 or something but can't be quite sure.

Tapster · 18/12/2007 18:02

I found as soon as my DD was night weaned I started ovulating again. Send DP in is what worked for us - within 2 nights she slept through. She is 13 months old and I need to take certain drugs that would make her drowsy if I got pregnant again so I need to wean too (plus DD not really eating much solids).

What cups are you using to give milk pre-bedtime? I find DD can't really work out valves and free flow ends up everywhere.

MaeWestYeMerryGentlemen · 18/12/2007 18:07

wikikki - I'm having pretty much the same experience as you with DS (nearly 17 months), right down to the teething and the feeding in the night. We're also wanting to try for another baby.

The difference is that my periods came back when he was just 4 months old and was obviously feeding all the time at that point.

I did have some success with night-weaning at around 13 months when DH would go into DS the first time he woke and offer him water and stroke and soothe him until he (eventually) went back to sleep. It worked fairly well and DS went through a settled period where he would go through until at least 5am (which felt like bliss after the nights we'd been having) and sometimes until 6 or 7. Then he got a cold, his first stomach bug, plus major teething and it's all regressed again.

I have also missed the odd bedtime feed (due to work) and DH has given milk in a cup with lots of cuddles and the usual stories. DS went to sleep no problem on these nights.

I'll watch the thread with interest as I may find myself in this situation...

jellybrain · 19/12/2007 11:03

not had this dilema myself as didn't Bf for so long but, my sister was given a novel tip which worked wonders. A friend of hers suggested Vegemite on her nipples so, when DD (20 mths) asked for a BF she showed them and explained that they had gone mouldy/off . She did this for a couple of days and then was never asked again. It sounds a bit wierd and you'll def need breast pads. She had tired all the other stuff but my neice was far more upset as she just thought her mum was being mean!

A friend of mine tried this too(but with marmite as not in Oz) and her dtr was also off breast milk within days. An added bonus was that both kids were particularly well behaved for a couple of days too because they thought their mums wer poorly

cherryredretrochick · 19/12/2007 13:31

my kids love marmite, but ergh

wikikki · 19/12/2007 20:03

Well, thanks everyone, loads of stuff there for me to chew over...
DD loves her Avent magic cup + Heinz cup - not sure if they make them anymore, or good old Tomme Tippee is another favourite.
First night in toddler bed went pretty well, fed a couple of times. I'll see how she copes tonight without BF + water instead!
Thanks for the marmite tip - DH is keen but I'm not sure I said I will if he does it too!!

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Reallytired · 22/12/2007 21:37

I bf my little boy until he was two and half years old. Weaning can be a very emotional time for both mother and child. I think its a real mistake to try weaning cold turkey.

If you take weaning slowly the child LEARNS to cope without the breast as opposed to suddenly being denied someone they love. When the child gives up the breast after a gradual weaning it is a childhood milestone they have accomplished and a positive experience.

With my son I used a combination of "don't offer, don't refuse", "distraction", "substitution" (ie. offering juice or another snack). I gradually cut down the feeds over a period of about 10 months.

Some of the tactics like "Don't offer, don't refuse" are harder than they sound. For example when my son hurt himself it was very tempting to scoop him up and give him a breastfeed than to try comforting him with a a cuddle first.

I found it helpful to look at our routine. For example if your child is used to having breastfeed at a particular time of day after watching the tweenies, then try going to the park and offering a snack when you are out. Or avoid sitting in a a chair that you always use while breastfeeding her.

If a child is demanding lots of feeds then prehaps there is something missing from their life. Prehaps she is bored and needs simulation rather than a breastfeed.

There will be good days and bad days. If your child is ill they may well feed more. Children don't breastfeed forever. It might be worth contact La Leche League. I am sure they suggest some good books on weaning.

I started having periods again when my son was 22 months and was just feeding morning and evening.

wikikki · 26/12/2007 18:47

Thanks, it's great to have your advice + to share your thoughts on the whole thing, as well as finding out some facts about the issue of weaning. Dd is cutting teeth again at the minute so is much more clingy than usual, and hopefully all those Xmas pressies will help to give her lots of stimulation over the coming weeks. I now realise that BF is a commitment that we share + certainly wouldn't like to try going cold turkey - I feel quite emotional about it myself and will take it slow - hopefully my ovaries will get back into action at some point!
I had a reflexology session last week, but she suggested that I wean her off the boob asap if I want to have another baby - easier said than done!
Maybe once the teething calms down she'll be less clingy + not be as bothered about feeding as much, but the gleam in her eye when she pulls of mid-feed + says "Feeeeed!!!" worries me slighty ( but fills me up at the same time!!).
Merry Xmas everyone.

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MamaTama · 12/02/2009 02:35

Hi all!
I read this thread with great interest as I'm also trying to wean my just-turned-17-month-old DS off the breast (albeit for different reasons as I definitely couldn't cope with another baby!).
Got it down to once a day a couple of months ago & thought I'd just about cracked it but then, like MWYMG above, he caught his first cold followed by the nasty tummy bug that was going around at the end of last year & ended up back to square one again, sometimes spending most of the day on the breast.
Much as I love the closeness it brings & the obvious pleasure he gets from it (which now he's talking clearly is more obvious than ever: "Milky, I want it!", "Open it (gesturing to bra), pweeeeaaaase!" "Mippal (aka nipple), mmmm!" accompanied by lip smacking & even a bit of unco-ordinated tongue waggling). Funny & heartwarming in one sense but in another it scares me that he's so into it because I really need it to end so I can get my own health/body back in order. He's only got 6 teeth up to now as well, which makes me a bit anxious as none of the molars are through yet & that's meant to be the worst bit!
The Marmite/Vegemite suggestion made me gag but who knows what I may be reduced to in a state of desperation, hope it doesn't come to that though, I'd love it to happen naturally.
So: DON'T OFFER/ONLY REFUSE IF ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY/DELAY/DISTRACT/SUBSTITUTE it is then!
Good luck!
xxx MamaTama xxx
PS I started him on a goatmilk formula at about 9 months for the final feed of the day & found that that cured the night waking almost completely - worth considering as people seem to be saying that it's the multiple night feeds that keep your hormones out of conception mode. My periods returned 28 days after I gave birth - literally 4 weeks to the day, which was my previous cycle & that was when I was exclusively breastfeeding so it is obviously very much a personal thing, our bodies are unique & react to all these different factors in very different ways.
PPS That said, could I ask MNers in your experience how long it takes for the milk to dry up once feeding has completely ceased?

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