10 year old lying for basic things - at my wits end

[lovinbeingmum]

DS turned 10 a few months ago and it’s like a switch went off. I get it -growing, hormones all of that. I was ready for it, so I thought. Increasingly, he’s started lying for such basic things! - and I can’t keep following him around to check. For example he came down for breakfast. Don’t know what made me go up (loosing trust I suppose). Checked. Toothbrush is dry. He hasn’t brushed his teeth but is lying that he has! Washing hands after the loo. Drinking water. It’s weird.

He’s an intelligent and a very sensible boy otherwise. Would have thought he’d have better things to rebel against. This isn’t what I had prepared for. Have made charts, have praised when things are done, have done the shouting, threatening - good, bad, ugly - all methods I could think off and am completely lost now.

Please help me….

Why are you asking if he’s brushed his teeth/washed his hands etc?
Maybe he’s rebelling because he doesn’t want to be asked? He’s old enough to know it needs doing so he’s making a choice not to.

I do remember DS going through a grubby phase, it was grim, but he did soon grew out of it. Friends reported theirs were also similar, it was a struggle to get them to shower/bathe.

At that age reward charts had been grown out of. I’d just leave him to it tbh It isn’t worth threatening and shouting about!

I can understand your frustration @lovinbeingmum but I think he's a bit old for reward charts too and shouting at him now doesn't bode well for the teen years.

Agree too that they often go through a grubby phase at this age. DS went from being like this to becoming super clean once he hit high school and realised that being dirty was uncool.

I'd head on over to the preteens board to see if you can get some advice on how to get him to clean his teeth without shouting.

Maybe book a dental checkup to get the Dentist to tell him too...

Thanks @PanicBuyingSprouts. I wasn’t actually shouting more telling off :/ I wrote the post in a moment of complete exasperation and unhappiness but he must have sensed my mood too - the last 48 hours have been much calmer.
Still both the replies were useful. I do need to keep reminding myself ‘Back off! He’s a big boy now!’ 😊