2 yo is constantly crazy and we can't cope

[Clawley123]

Me and my partner are really struggling. We constantly have to 'pussyfoot' around our DD just so she doesn't have a major meltdown. We also struggle to pluck up the courage to take her places because she can get that bad. Bedtime is impossible and even little things like getting her dressed sometimes seems like a military mission. Little things like tonight, she sat in the bath for 1:30 hours because she didn't want to get out and when she did, she had an uncontrollable tantrum to the point where she was arching her back and hitting us both. This happens regularly and I don't know how to control it. We both feel like we're doing something wrong but we don't know what.

Is it just the so called 'terrible twos' or is it something like early stages of adhd or even autism?

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

I have an ADHD/ASD DC and there absolutely is a certain amount of managing situations but no way would I let them sit in the bath like that.

We just turned everything into a game, how fast can you get washed & dressed? Let’s race downstairs before DF drinks your milk…tickle monster is going to put your socks on -whatever it took, but not dictating what we did and we always went out places.

why let her sit in the bath that long If she’s going to tantrum anyway? just pull the plug, get her out & let her crack on! pussyfooting around her is possibly teaching her that you will let her do what she wants because you are scared of her acting up. Try distracting her with other things so that, before she knows it, she’s done what you wanted her to do without her even noticing.

Hopefully it’s just the terrible two’s & before long she will be delightful.

Two can be such a delightful yet exhausting age but agree with PP you aren't doing her any favours by allowing her to do whatever she wants. I'm not suggesting being harsh by any means but sounds like you need some management techniques and turning things into a game I found really helps. Unfortunately there are going to have to be times when you have to say no and she's not going to like it but how you deal with that is key.

Perhaps try some of the gentle parenting books? 'How to talk so little kids listen' is really good as is 'gentle parenting' by Sarah Ockwell Smith.

Just a thought on bedtime being difficult, mine always get themselves in an absolute state at bedtime if they are just too tired. Is she getting enough sleep do you think?

@Mattieandmummy

Just a thought on bedtime being difficult, mine always get themselves in an absolute state at bedtime if they are just too tired. Is she getting enough sleep do you think?

She sleeps well, has about 1/12-2 hours nap a day and when she is asleep she sleeps through. Tonight's been a one off with the bath, she's never done that before but we've tried making everything a game but because she's so strong willed and knows what she wants nothing evert works. It starts from the minute get go as she hates changing her tops so we have to pretty much fight her to change into he clothes for the day and it's just exhausting

Sounds exactly like my DD, it's hard but there's a positive to all this too, being strong willed or stubborn (my MILs opinion) is also being determined and that's a great personality trait. Sadly in this world our girls need all the determination they can muster, hang in there.

You could also try two choices - does she want this top or this top, this snack or this snack etc etc. I found giving a bit control to my DD helped a fair bit. An old fashioned egg timer really helps too because it's not you they are arguing with.

@Mattieandmummy

You could also try two choices - does she want this top or this top, this snack or this snack etc etc. I found giving a bit control to my DD helped a fair bit. An old fashioned egg timer really helps too because it's not you they are arguing with.

The egg timer sounds like a great idea! We've tried the different top one and all she comes out with is i don't like this top haha seriously frustrating. This morning I've had to take her to the childminders in her pj top because she had a meltdown when I went to take it off. She is an angel but, a difficult one