16 month old development

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Hi all,

I never usually write posts but wanted to get advice! DS is 16 months and has always been a very easy baby- eats amazing, sleeps amazing etc. I never noticed a problem as he's very sociable, answers to his name, eye contact etc but he seems very slow to do things. He still isn't walking, does cruise, pull himself up etc but tbh that's not what worries me as I think he is close to doing it and have been told he is hyper mobile. My SIL is a speech therapist and mentioned him not pointing and now I have read this is such a red flag I'm concerned. When he wants something like me to put on the tv he brings me the remote and looks at the tv or he will reach for something with an open hand. His speech isn't great he says a few words mama, dada, quack quack when he sees a pic of a duck, go (when I say ready,steady), car and cat. He was diagnosed with glue ear recently but as far as I know this wouldn't stop him pointing? He does clap, do high five and imaginative play and waves sporadically but doesn't really get it! The positive is he always turns to look at me when playing, is very attached to me and likes to bring me things to show me. He also always follows my point. I've flagged the no pointing to nursery but they've told me as he's communicating in other ways they aren't concerned. I'm thinking of getting an assessment from a speech therapist as I'm still unsure if there is something to worry about but not sure whether or not to wait for the glue ear to resolve. Anyway I just wondered if anyone had any experience with glue ear/ lack of pointing and speech? If glue ear would affect the ability to point? TIA and sorry for the long post!

Forgot to say he does understand very basic things like where is the cat, where are the lights, give it to mama, come here etc Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

My DS is 17 months he seems to be in a similar stage, he recently started to point and say few words ( objects). Just made few steps this week, but also flaps his hands a lot which is a red flag !
Try to point to things he needs and to pictures in animal books ..etc.

Pointing isn't really delayed until 18 months so he still has time. Also he has lots of positives! Give it another couple of months

My ds is 17 months and sounds really similar. Also hyper mobile. Didn't crawl til 13 months but is now whizzing around, but not walking. No pointing. Just started waving very recently. Does high fives and now cheers with his cup too (not sure what that says about us!!) Some words, maybe a few more than you say but a lot have come in the last month. I'm not sure whether to be worried or not. I'm trying not to be, he seems so happy and he is making progress. I think the walking is a big part of it, I reckon if he was walking I would feel he was less behind. They're all different but he's way behind where any of his cousins were at the same age :-/ We have a bit of hand flapping too, I'm not sure I'm worried by that. He's v sociable and good with eye contact and I'm not specially worried about autism in particular.

It's so tough isn't it. It's quite reassuring that there are others at the same stage. Mine is starting nursery in January and I'm hoping it gives him a bit of a kick up the bottom. I am early pregnant so my days of being easily able to carry him around are limited!

Just to say a week after I wrote this he started pointing and saying more words! He still does it mostly with an open hand but has recently started index pointing too. I just think sometimes they can be slower with things and as long as they are progressing that's the main thing! I also read sometimes pointing can be linked to speech delay not necessarily autism, I think as long as they are communicating their needs with you in some way and gesturing that is the main thing. I really wish I hadn't worried and enjoyed my boy the last couple of months, the internet is a scary place!

I agree! Pointing is a funny one, mine does with open hand as well. I think it might also just be as simple as the fact we probably don't point much!! I didn't really know I was supposed to show him that. When you see posters on here worrying about autism there are usually a whole list of behaviours which mostly go to the child not enjoying or participating in social interactions, that is not my child at all, he just doesn't point to much! The hypermobility has me more worried really but again I'm sure it will work out. Are you getting any NHS or other support with that?

Oh fine well that's great he's doing it with an open hand! He only started doing index the last few days anyway- think the main thing is joint attention where they gesture towards something and look at you afterwards from what I've read. Yes you are right there are so many behaviours and same my son doesn't have any that are concerning luckily. In terms of walking I think you only get it when they are 18 months? I was going to go private but he walks confidentially with a Walker so I'm hoping it will come! My nephew didn't walk until 20 months and he's fine. I do think if they are cruising/pullling themselves up that's the main thing. I do agree it's killing my back as my son is over two stone (born 10 pounds) he's always been off the charts weight wise which I'm sure can't be helping him trying to walk! I also would like to start trying soon and def can't imagine being pregnant and carrying him so don't know how you do it!

Haha I'm only 9 weeks so I'm ok for now! But not for long!!

By the way I did see a physio re the hypermobility and she said some of the big arm gestures can be hard too as takes a lot of shoulder stability to wave and point. So they can also be a bit slower foe that reason I think. In case makes you feel any better :-)

Oh really how interesting! He only started waving the last few weeks too so it does! Clapping was quite late too! Thanks so much and I wish you well the rest of your pregnancy!

Sounds very similar to my DS at that age. Also a big (10 pounder!) placid easy baby. I was always worried about communication/speech after a comment at his 1 year review. He pointed at 16.5 months then followed the expected trajectory for speech but always at the slower end. So 6-10 words at 18 m, 50 words at 24 months and so on.

Thanks @vera16 that's good to know he def sounds similar!! Thank you again :)

Hi all, my little boy is 16 months and I'm also very worried about Autism. The pointing is a big one for me (lack of). Can any of you give me any advice on how I can encourage him to point? If I point to something, he just looks at my hand. He also doesn't engage with me if he wants something. He'll try and get it himself. If it's out of reach, he will gesture for me to pick him up but then he goes back to trying to grab it himself. I've been driving myself crazy with worry over the last couple of months. Any advice will be greatly appreciated (from one worried mum to another) Laura x

Sorry you are worried, it's the worst. For pointing I started by introducing something very desirable (a pink juice he found delicious), put it just out of reach from the high chair, and then pointed, said oooh and drank from it myself. He very soon realised he would only get it himself by pointing at it,..

@vera16 Thank you for the reply. It's tricky with Alex as he doesn't really have anything that he loves like that. I'll give it a go though so thanks for the advice :)

Hi
any update on your little one please ? ☺️

@Vittoria123 well he is almost 4 now and although he is such a chatterbox, has friends, an absolute delight to be around I still feel something is off. Pre school have never had any concerns or nursery though (I've also had speech assessments/health visitor assessments and again no concerns) so I think I will just carry on as we are as if it's anything it will be super mild.

I have another son now who is 11 months and I already see a big difference, he claps and waves and understands so much. I have no concerns with him and think he will be pointing soon.

I think the biggest thing from all my years of research is pointing by 18 months. It seems that kids should be index finger pointing to share attention e.g at a bird/ plane etc and also pointing to share their wants and needs by then. I did so much research and this was the most reliable marker.

My son pointed to show his wants and needs by 16m but only to share attention by 19/20m so it has never been clear for me. I would definitely wait until 18m to worry though and to be honest for me my son may be a bit quirky but I'm sure he'll be absolutely fine hopefully and I wasted so much time worrying for nothing.

Hi
any updates on pointing and your little one ? ❤️

Hiya. He started pointing randomly around 17months of age. His speech improved when he turned 3. He's still a terrible eater. Currently under OT. We can tell he's more immature than other kids his age. Toilet training is impossible. He point blank refuses to sit on the Potty. We suspect either Autism, ADHD OR both. Professionals keep fobbing him off but we know something isn't right.

@Alexsmum21 your son sounds similar to mine bar the potty training as he picked that up quite well. Mine is also very immature and his memory is really bad and he can't seem to take in any info (colours, letters, numbers etc).

I'm also doing OT privately but the OT therapist, speech therapist, pre school don't see a problem even though I know something isn't right. I'm also not sure if it's ADHD, Autism or dyspraxia. I feel like I just want to know now as I have been thinking it for 3 years.

Are you going to go private for an assessment? The wait on nhs apparently takes years and I'm worried as mine starts school in sept and will also be the youngest. I was thinking about finally biting the bullet and just doing it. I just worry as it seems like quite an intense lengthy process.

Hiya. No we aren't going private for an assessment as places won't accept it. He had a Ruth Griffiths assessment and they didn't seem concerned. SALT saw him once and then we didn't hear from them again. My little boy's eating is terrible to the point where he definitely has Sensory Processing Disorder. They say that they don't diagnose that on its own as it's always with something else (asd, ADHD etc). His memory is great which is part of the problem as he doesn't forget anything. It's frustrating when the professionals won't take you seriously. We're the same. We've known something isn't right since he was 15 months.

@Alexsmum21 gosh it's such a worry isn't it. Luckily mine has quite good speech now but he's so behind with his learning and motor skills. I heard some people don't accept the private diagnosis so annoying. I may call my health visitor again and ask to at least be put on the wait list. Sorry to hear about his eating that's tough, if you're based in London there's a lady called feed eat speak that's apparently incredible for eating. Also apparently in the US SPD can be diagnosed alone.

Yes, I've heard it gets diagnosed alone in the states. Our OT said it doesn't in the UK. I get it as my little boy obviously has something more than SPD. We're based in South Wales unfortunately. Alex's speech has improved a lot since he turned 3. Still behind other kids but definitely an improvement. His main issues now are his eating and his hyperactivity (not listening etc). With his potty training, he was amazing when we started it but then something must have happened and now he refuses. Is your little one in a playgroup? We found that his motor skills improved greatly when he started playgroup.

@Alexsmum21 yes mine goes to pre school 5 days a week and has done since September which has brought him on leaps and bounds. His speech is probably not much different to his peers now but he's so behind physically and also doesn't listen/finds it hard to sit at circle time which I'm told is improving. I'm super worried for school next year but at least it's the same school so not much of a change. I do ask the school and they think he's just a bit behind but I think if your child isn't disruptive, can talk and take themselves to toilet etc they probably don't flag anything. There is a girl in his class that they are assessing but her tantrums and behaviour are really bad.

I just want to know for sure as it's been almost 3 years of not knowing. I have an almost 1 year old now and can already see the difference so much physically and the amount of gestures and understanding he has, it makes me even more sure something is off with my eldest.

I think if we are doing therapy that's the best we can do for now and then I guess I'll just try to get on the waitlist. My friend has an autistic daughter who's quite severe and even she is struggling to get her any help at school with a diagnosis so I also think will we even get anything from it. It's so tough worrying about this all the time!

Yeah I totally understand. The waiting is frustrating. We really want another child but we've been putting it off to see how his development goes. You just need to really push for everything. We had Alex genetically tested and that didn't come back with anything. We only had that because we pushed for it. Start with your GP and go from there. You need to keep making a nuisance of yourself in order to get anything done. We've had multi panel meetings with all the professionals and they never seem to show any concerns but his nursery teacher has told us that they like to delay things so that the school will sort the referrals etc. I'm the same as you, it's the not listening and sitting still that worries me which seems to point towards ADHD

@Alexsmum21 yes I also think mine is maybe more adhd as he does love being around people and hates being alone, it's confusing. I was also told you can't diagnose ADHD until 6 anyway. I'm definitely going to speak to the HV and see what they say. To be honest I'm sure my husband has adhd he was always the naughty kid at school and he finds it hard to follow instructions and zones out loads too.

I was also scared to have another baby but honestly it's made my son so much better at sharing and I think at least they will have eachother. I also think that even though this has stressed me out so much my son really is such an incredible boy and so loving and we would be ok if my youngest ended up the same. Obviously I know it is very different with a potentially very highly functioning child to one with much greater needs though. I am contemplating baby number 3 (I must be mad) but will see how they both get on first and then make a decision.