8yr old accused of theft at school...what's ur opinion

[jadejakes]

My 8yr old son returned from school on Thursday with a necklace he found in the school playground at lunchtime that day. He told us he couldn't find the girl it belonged to he brought it home and will find her in the morning to give it to her. The necklace was tangled, we untangled it and then popped it in a little pouch to return it to her.

Next day I receive a call from the school. My son was giving the necklace to the girl and her friend punched him in the stomach. What followed was the school informed me that my son received a (disciplinary) teacher meeting about stealing (and yes he was punched but he is ok and they are "proud" of him for not reacting/retaliating. However, their view is he should have given the necklace to the teachers immediately and therefore they had a disciplinary meeting with him about stealing.

My son came home so distraught. He thought he had done the right thing and doesn't understand why he is being accused of stealing.

Can I sense check this with you all? This has been so upsetting. Or am I blinkered being his mum? Thx

Thing is OP...if he knew who it belonged to but could not find her, he definitely should have given it to a member of staff and not brought it home.

Taking things which aren't yours home, is theft...kids do and say all sorts of odd things for weird reasons...

He didn't do the right thing at all...the punching is a separate issue and not nice AT all. I'm sorry he had to go through that.

You need to speak to him to make sure he knows he made the wrong choice.

I think there isn't a completely correct answer here.

He found it at lunch time, so if he hadn't found her by the end of lunch, then he should have handed it in.
However the fact he showed it to you and told you then he clearly intended to do the right thing, if a little late, plus he went to give it to her without being asked. That to me makes me think the school is not right in their response.

However there are other potential situations here: One being that the teachers said to the class that she'd lost it, and had anyone seen it, and he stayed quiet (or even denied having it). Or that she's been targeted by bullying by things being taken. Another thought along that lines is if he handed it over with a bit of a gleeful "he he, see what I've got..." attitude.

So I would speak to the school and explain that he had brought it home, but had immediately shown it to you and told you what had happened. Agree that he should have handed it in, and say he knows in future.
However to be prepared to find that there is potentially something extra in the story that changes it a bit.

He should have given it to an adult but he's 8 so I see why he'd think that he should find the girl himself.

Tbh I think that you should have handed it to an adult (teacher or school office) the next morning.

He’s only 8 - he did nothing wrong! He doesn’t have to know the right way to deal with that situation- he is only learning.