How do i stop her SCREAMING?!?!!

[Staceym11PipersPiping]

Right dd is a lovely little girl who i have very few problems with. She does as she's told (the majority of the time), she shares with her brother (when asked), she eats (with encouragement), she's just generally a good girl.

But for the last few weeks she has started SCREAMING at her brother at bedtime and in the car if he makes any little noise. This obviously makes him make more noise and it goes on. I end up in tears everytime and it's really not good when somebody is driving a car!

she is 3yo and he is 1yo. i cant explain to him not to make any noise because hes 1yo ffs! and she doesnt see reason!

What do i do?!?!?!

If at home, I would do the "I am amazed and at the same time disappointed in you" look at her and say something to make it very clear "Hey, that's not how we do things in this house". Also try to talk to her about it - she may not be able to articulate or understand why she's doing it, but you could try to see if she can....maybe it's about attention going to him, now that he's one and more able to move around and make noise and generally grab some of the action! You could tell her you understand he's sometimes annoying. It's good to feel your feelings are understood and not just dismissed.

If she continued with screaming after distraction etc I would give her a time on her own in her room so that she knows this screaming has a consequence. It doesn't have to be done as a punishment even - maybe explain to her that she is clearly upset as she is making that noise so she needs time on her own to calm down.

I think home is where you have to tackle it and impose the consequence and just hope that this starts to reduce the incidence of it - of course you can't really do anything in the car. Maybe just the thought of going to her room when she got home would stop her - possibly?

But don't let it reduce you to tears; have a consequence in mind and that should take away some of that powerless feeling which leads to your being so upset by it.

Suggestions (mind you they sometimes work, not always, and my DD is 5 with a baby sister):

Don't shout or speak loudly back to her when she's screaming. Maintain a low voice, or better still, say nothing.

If driving, pull over. Explain to her (once she's stopped yelling) that shouting in the car causes accidents, and you have to stop. If she carries on, sit in silence in the car until she quietens down. Make sure if DS gets upset that he gets comforted.

If she's screaming at the baby, pick him up and walk out of the situation. Keep your back turned, do not acknowledge DD, even if she kicks or thumps you. Again, speak slowly and quietly, once she's calmed down, and explain that her behaviour is not acceptable.

If she's kept her cool while the baby has irritated her and not yelled, give her a hug and lots of praise.

Try not to cry in front of her, as it may make her feel confused and frightened, as well as even more jealous.

HTH

I had this problem a bit, though not in the car. I put big bits of cotton wool sticking out of my ears and carried on with what I was doing saying I couldn't hear a thing. It worked for us

This won't work in the car obviously, but my DD (2.5) is a screamer and when she gets into a screaming mood, we ask her to go to her room, where she can scream to her heart's content... we just tell her calmly we don't like to hear it - at first would frogmarch her into her toom, but now if she starts she goes to her room by herself, screams a bit and comes out and says: all finished now.

In our house if you wanna scream its got to be done outside as it "Hurts everybody ears" spend as much time outside screaming and when you get it all out you can come back in.

Sometimes also I find when kids shout if I start to whisper to them they can't hear what I am saying so the have to stop.