Anyone else constantly worrying about autism signs??

[foreverworryingmum21]

Hi All

Long time lurker and have always found these threads so helpful and reassuring.

Just as above really, find myself constantly worrying about signs of autism in my son (Have worried about this since pregnancy!) I have anxiety and I guess the autism worry is just part of the lack of control of the future, etc. But even so does anyone else find themselves googling red flags, then literally looking for the red flags, and then panicking even more when you spot one?

I feel so bad writing this as my son is absolutely amazing.. so I guess I'm looking both for reassurance but also does anyone else worry constantly if your dc is not ticking every possible box they should at every possible moment?

So my son is 15 months old. He is an absolute delight (most of the time!) He's super happy, smiley and giggly. He is super curious about the world - loves exploring things and places, loves playing with his toys and reading books. He brings toys to show me, he toddles over with books all the time for me to read to him (or hopefully show me). He often grabs my hand and pulls me over to play with him. He points, and sometimes points at pictures in books when I say 'Where is the duck?' etc (But by no means every time!). He babbles constantly, and has a few words "mama", "duck", "fish", and can say a few numbers and point these out too. (But his love of numbers actually worries me - he LOVES them and gets excited if we're out and he see the number 10 for example). He was an early walker and his motor skills and control are brilliant. He follows instructions "come here", "no" (sometimes). He laughs when I laugh sometimes, he likes to play "chase mummy", he copies me sometimes - if I say "ssssnake" he'll say "sssss". His eye contact is great - he'll have little babbly conversations with me looking me in the eye - buttt he doesn't make great eye contact with people he doesn't know.

BUT... despite all this I still worry. He sometimes hand leads - he can point himself and does so, but he often gets my hand to point at pictures in a book or to help with a toy. He responds to his name SOMETIMES, but if we're out somewhere new or he's engrossed in something, he ignores me. (But weirdly he'll always look if I say "look!") This inconsistent name response really worries me.

He's not that interested in other children. He sometimes watches older kids play, but at playgroup or classes he mostly ignores the other kids and happily plays on his own, or with me. Sometimes he'll sit with the other kids and play, but he doesn't engage in any way. I know he's still super young, but obviously this worries me too. He's not really a lover of other people really - he adores me, his dad and his nanny, doesn't mind his grandparents and auntie, but unless he knows you really well, he tolerates you at best. As I've said above, his eye contact with strangers is not great.

Writing this all down makes me feel really silly - but any reassurance or fellow-worriers out there would be greatly appreciated!!!

Hi @Yas1362

I still have some concerns. She lines up toys and flaps her hands when excited.

However, in terms of communication she is doing well. She has around 40-50 words, good eye contact, she points, she indicates her feelings and wants with body language, she understands instruction, she’s clingy to me when she’s in new situations and around new people.

Quite different to my son who I could have a conversation with from 18 months old and always seemed like a ‘mini adult’ with his speech and vocabulary (he recently won a regional creative writing contest so he’s still excelling 😁)

So, yes, I do still have concerns. But if she does have ADHD / ASD like my son, I’m figuring she is also likely to be ‘high-functioning’.

Hi @Ofal. thanks for update. I think pointing and talking are very good signs.

May I ask if your daughter finally pushed her arms during the tummy time? My baby son doesn’t seem to want to do that!🤨
Was your son also cooing when three or four month? Did he have back and forth conversations?

My eldest is also high functioning and like your son excelling in many areas academically and was this year graduated as top grade A student. But struggling socially despite that he really wants to make connections. But as a baby (around two three four months) I don’t remember him ever cooing or babbling! It he had his words very soon. He was very quite and very happy baby. He had in general very good eye contact but not that deep gaze that you feel the bond. For example he never had a gaze when I held him or during breast/bottle feeding.

I think it’s very tricky as autism is a spectrum with lots of symptoms.

My son’s communication and motor milestones were always ahead, except in hindsight, body language. I didn’t spot that his body language wasn’t great because he spoke so early and could have a conversation at 18 months old. You don’t notice they aren’t pointing when they can say, ‘can I have a biscuit?’

In contrast, my daughter can tell you a thousand things with her body language alone, that’s the key difference between them that I can observe at the moment.