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Behaviour/development

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Hand flapping / stimming 3 year old

4 replies

surreygirl1987 · 21/11/2021 21:55

Hi,
Just wanted to ask something about my toddler who turned 3 a month ago. 'm going to speak to the GP and get the ball rolling for an assessment regardless, but just wanted to know if anybody has had a 3 year old who still does lots of hand-flapping (he is constantly flapping his hands onto his body, like his chest or his legs, especially when excited) and is neurotypical? My son passed the M-chat when he was younger when I had concerns over his meltdowns, and has no issues with pointing, waving, interacting or eye contact. He is not, nor has he ever been, particularly affectionate however, and has never really been one for cuddles. He has tantrums when he doesn't get his own way, although these are often over fairly quickly. He was slightly behind in walking and speaking, but nothing that seemed to concern anyone. He does seem to obsess over things a bit - for instance he's chosen the same book for his bedtime story for the past 4 nights in a row - but I presume this can be typical of toddlers (?). He has a little brother who he has fun with and he apparently has friends at nursery, though they have raised the hand flapping too and said they'll get their SENCo to observe him. The big red flag is really hand flapping - he is stimming pretty much constantly. And thoughts/ advice / experience? Thanks in advance.

OP posts:
Kite22 · 21/11/2021 23:28

Choosing the same book to read several times is pretty usual.
Tantrums also pretty usual.
Yes, as you say the hand flapping and stilling is something that can be a sign of a neurodiverse child, but it can also be done by children that grow out of it and it doesn't always signify there is a diagnosis of anything to come.

Mattieandmummy · 24/11/2021 08:42

My DD chose the same book at bedtime for two weeks, I wouldn't read anything in that at all other he just really likes it.

It sounds like the hand flapping is the only possible cause for concern but as others said it's not by any means a diagnosis of anything and something he may grow out of. Definitely have him assessed but I wouldn't assume the worse either.

If it helps my niece hand flapped at that age and she's fine, my DD does this very strange hand opening and closing when really excited and we've been assured by multiple health professionals that it's not something to worry about in the absence of any other concerns.

surreygirl1987 · 24/11/2021 21:32

Thanks!! That's really reassuring. He's not very affectionate compared with other children, he struggles with transitions and he does have tantrums... but he is 3 and those things on their own aren't necessarily indicative of any issues, I know. But add that to the hand flapping and it's just in the back of my mind. I will have him assessed, but I won't worry too much. Nothing I can do anyway - he is who he is. Many thanks for the responses.

OP posts:
indiaj0nes · 16/09/2022 03:44

hi -
my 5 year old is a hand flapper but only when he plays at park or outdoor. any update on yours?

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