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Behaviour/development

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How to handle toddler hitting?

1 reply

MyCatHatesWhiskas · 20/11/2021 08:27

DC2, who is almost 2 (22 months for those who prefer ages that way), has started hitting us. Usually when thwarted from doing what he wants to do, occasionally almost as a game with a grin on his face (eg nappy changes when he starts kicking or when in the buggy and I’m trying to fasten him in).

How would you recommend handling this? My usual approach is to tell him “no, we don’t hit” and then to physically stop him if he continues (ie by holding his hand and repeating “no”) or walk away depending on where we are and which is safer/better. But neither seems to be very effective so far!

I have to be honest, it really bothers me because his older brother (who may not be neurotypical, we are currently considering pursuing a private assessment) started hitting around the same age and has never stopped - as in, he still hits now when angry and it’s not something he has grown out of. So I’m really worried DC2 might not grow out of it either.

We have tried more with DC1 as he got older (time outs, consequences, talking calmly when not angry about why we don’t hit) but none of that has worked either so I’m keen to make sure we take the right approach with DC2.

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
ZooKeeper19 · 24/11/2021 14:33

Sorry, no tried and tested advice. My one is 2 as well and he will hit exactly when he does not get something he wants, but also just when he is bored, or he is testing what will happen. He has a younger sibling and cats that he tries this on as well. Cats will hit him back, and I let them.

I will always stop him and show him what to do. I.e. not tell him "not like this, don't do that, no..." I say "look we do it like this" and I stroke cat, sibling, daddy...show him how to behave rather than tell him how not to.

But I am not having any real results, it's just the approach I am taking.

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