Hi,
My daughter is nearly 2 and for the most part is a happy contented child but occasionally in certain situations she will get hysterical and finds it hard to calm down, and I'm not sure how to help her.
She has been going to a childminder a couple of times a week for the past year. Most of the time she has good days there, she loves it when they are outside in the garden or at a playground and it looks like she gets on well with the other kids there as it's usually the same faces on the days she is there, but occasionally she will have a bad day.
Last week when we went to pick her up the childminder said she had had a good morning because they had been to a park and then she had a good sleep when they got back but she got very upset in the afternoon because the childminder's two kids (who are teenagers but very quiet, and good with the kids) walked past the playroom and that set her off crying even though they were not interacting with her or being loud or anything. My daughter has seen these kids on many occasions and they do sometimes help look after the children, so I'm not sure why them just walking past the room she was in got her upset?
Unfortunately after this episode she couldn't get herself calm again, and then other kids' parents started turning up to collect their kids which also got her upset and by the time I picked my daughter up I could hear her crying hysterically. Tiredness could have played a part because although she went down for a good nap it was earlier in the day than she would go to sleep at home, so maybe she was feeling a bit more sensitive because of that?
In the past she has got upset over some family members coming round to ours/us going round to theirs but we've found that if they don't interact with her she will slowly get used to them being there, or if they start playing with her toys she will eventually get curious enough to want to go over and play with them. She also got easily upset when we went on holiday earlier this year; it was our first holiday so I think being in a completely different environment took her some getting used to, but she was really clingy around her daddy and wanted constantly picking up, and got very upset if he tried to put her down or needed to go elsewhere.
Now that things are open more since all the lockdowns, we go to singalong groups and toddler groups and she's fine at these-I definitely noticed her being a bit more clingy at the start when it was all new but now she's used to going she's happy for me to sit around the edge/not be right next to her all the time.
I have contacted the health visitor in the past about her getting so upset but they always suggest it sounds appropriate for her age and appropriate due to being in isolation (my daughter was born just before lockdown so I don't know whether those first few months of not seeing anyone/not going to any groups has had an impact on her too?)
I did wonder whether it's the environment at the childminders that's making her upset because at home and at her grandparents (who she goes to once a week) we hardly ever have visitors and we have a set routine, whereas at the childminders there are people coming and going all the time and maybe that sets her on edge a bit or makes her worry she's going to be left?
Just to add, I definitely experience a bit of social anxiety myself (I feel like it was worse as a teenager but I still worry about being in some situations/what people will think of me) so it may be that she's a bit more predisposed to being anxious like me. I would really like to find ways of helping my daughter though, especially as she's still too young at the minute to tell me what's wrong/why she's upset. If anyone has been in a similar situations themselves or has any advice it would be much appreciated!