Son experienced birth trauma??

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To cut a long story short my son is aged 3 and has lately been showing signs of being very angry/frustrated, he screams at the top of his lungs often and has quite a severe stutter that started the past 2-3 months..

He was born at home, 10lbs and it was a very difficult labour - I was pushing for around 3-4 hours.

When he was born he didn't scream or anything, he flopped onto the bed and the midwife went to resuscitate him when he let out a louder than life scream. This went on for around 8-10 months, he had a belly button infection, colic, reflux and screamed what felt like most of the day.

Myself and my husband have put most things down to temperament but there's always been a feeling that perhaps something wasn't quite right. His apgar score was 9 when born.

I feel so awful even writing this but it does plague me and my husband we try not talk about it.. but lately his behaviour combined with a few other things feel again, questionable..

His nursery also mentioned his stutter to me.

I don't know what I'm looking for on here by writing this? Perhaps someone has experienced the same?

It was a challenge from day 1 and has been until now. Can anyone relate to large baby difficult birth and baby outcomes?

Thank you so much

It’s hard to say. It could be down to his temperament or there could have been some trauma.

Can I ask what the ‘few other things’ are and what the ‘challenges from day one’ have been (other than what you’ve already said)? It might make more sense to try and give an opinion.

I’m asking because my DD14 had a traumatic birth. She has just been diagnosed with ADHD. She is wonderful but she does have some challenging behaviour when frustrated. When she was a toddler our main issues were around sleep.

If he’s meeting all his developmental goals I should try not to worry unduly but it’s good that you’re thinking of the possibility for future diagnosis. May beworth having a word with your health visitor (if they still exist).

The sleep has been brutal - he has only just started having the odd night where he sleeps through..

He has never slept well and it nearly drove me to literal insanity at one point.

When he is frustrated he literally goes red in the face, screams like he is possessed and has started showing general anger and frustration day to day often for no good reason in my mind..

My DD had a horrific birth - apgar score of 0 to give you an idea. She was a large baby too and has always been a terrible sleeper. Literally the worst we know: waking every two hours until 2.5 years, split nights when she would be awake for two to three hours from 1am, naps all over the place. Nightmare.

She has no on going health concerns (medical miracle I am very grateful for) but her paediatrician told me in their opinion birth trauma absolutely effects the child too as how could it not - babies are born sentient beings, they don't become sentient at a certain age but we have no way of knowing to what degree the trauma is because we can't ask them at the point of it happening.

The cranial osteopath we took her too (for difficulty turning her head on one side as a result of birth) said they never expected a child with birth trauma to sleep well.

The book how to talk so little kids listen is really helpful in dealing with frustration.

Could the frustration be coming from his stutter? It must be incredibly frustrating if you want to say something but you can't or it takes ages and I know my DD does crazy things when's frustration so I could see how it could be related. Perhaps speech therapy might be able to help.

I really feel for you with the sleep .

Our dd only slept through the night occasionally at that age. She didn’t consistently sleep through until she was 5. Even now she takes a very long time time to settle.

We are back to having emotional outbursts/ meltdowns the moment (puberty) so I feel your pain! With ADHD their emotions are felt to a much more heightened extent.

Obviously, I wouldn’t dream of attempting to diagnose your dc. All I would say is the frustration and the sleep are what we also experience(d). I believe stuttering is also quite prevalent with ADHD and some children become quite frustrated when they can’t get their words out.

I don’t think they will generally diagnose ADHD until at least 4 years old. However, it might be worth reading up to see whether you think he might fit the criteria.

If it does turn out to be ADHD please try not to worry. You will just be equipped to help him better. For example learning to manage his outbursts and other challenges which come along. Our dd is an amazing girl. Empathic, creative, generous, intelligent etc; She has the most amazing problem solving brain. She just with some extra challenges. Having the diagnosis helps us help her.

@Bekind2yourself amazing thank you for your input really appreciate it x

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Hi, I would try not to worry just yet. My daughter was 9lb14, had a terrible labour, she got stuck and swallowed merconium, was resuscitated and in special care for 2 weeks. She also had colic, cried 6 hours straight, awake every 2 hours until the age of 1. When she was 2-3 she had the most terrible tantrums. She is now 14 and a normal teenager, and very clever and caring. I also have a stutter, it is not linked to neurodevelopmental disorders or IQ (I am a nurse) also most children outgrow them so I wouldn't worry, but I would ask your GP to refer him for speech therapy x

@Laurajj87121 thanks so much.. I am slightly worried as I felt I had noticed a few things that seemed very different to other kids his age but maybe he is just highly sensitive and I need to not worry great to hear about your daughter, sorry your birth was so traumatic:((( did you have any more children after your DD?xx

What have you noticed that seems very different to other kids? How do nursery find his behaviour? Mine was over 9lbs, a terrible sleeper, not the best birth and was diagnosed with ASD just before secondary school.

Its worrying isn't it! Does he make lots of eye contact and like affection? I would speak to your GP if you are worried, you know your child better than anyone :).

Thank you. Yeah I now have a 6 week old baby boy. I had growth scans with him, his head was in 98th percentile and showing really big on scans, but they decided not to induce me early. So I had same problem! He got stuck and was delivered by forceps, had trauma to his eyes retinal haemorrhages, and a haematoma on his head. I knew instantly something was wrong, he was very agitated, eyes rolling and not feeding, but I got shrugged off. Since then I have found a lot of concerns, the main 1 is he has no palmar grasp reflex, which usually indicated a problem with the nervous system. So he is waiting to see the paediatrician, they will likely say its too early to tell if anything is wrong but I am going to demand an MRI head. It is worrying when you feel like something is wrong isn't it! Hope things work out well for your son x

He does make eye contact and does like hugs - runs away sometimes lol.. the nursery have noticed his stutter.. also when in the playground he runs off looking scared if anyone comes beside him or behind him on a slide.. he gets frustrated.. he hates noisy environments and often finds lights too bright.. I'm hoping all of this stuff is somewhat relatively ok at his age (turned 3 in October) so still very young... I've been anxious since the birth to be honest, better now but still anxious for that reason alone I don't think I could have another child:/

@Laurajj87121 :/ sorry to hear it, I hope your little one is ok.. kids are such a worry in general let alone if there's something up.. I hope you've got good support system x