Dummy Problems

[JandMsMum]

Hi, I hope someone out there can help me. I have just taken my two and half year old little girl to the dentist and she informed me that her top jaw is being pulled out of shape, quite dramatically, by her dummy and I must get rid of it as soon as possible.
I can probably get my daughter over the next few weeks to drop the reliance on it during the day (as she doesnt often ask for it unless she is tired or upset) but night time is going to be a nightmare as she has had it to aid her sleep since she was 2 days old. I feel terrible as giving her the dummy has now caused her damage and at the same time I feel terrible taking it away from her, when she is so reliant on it. I had always planned on slowly weaning her off it at night, but not until she could understand a bit more. Help, tips or advise on how to do this dreaded deed would be really appreciated.

[grommit]

JandMsMum - SNAP! - I am in exactly the same position - two and a half yr old dd with serious dummy addiction. My dentist said the same and I am plucking up the courage to remove the dummy. Not sure whether to go 'cold turkey' or try gradual - she only really has it for sleeping and daily car journeys. I was thinking of asking her to take the dummies to the fairies at the end of the garden who would exchange for small gifts and doing this nightly until all dummy are gone - does this sound mad? I would also appreciate feedback from anyone else out there who has been through this

[Clarinet60]

Yikes!
3 year old with a permanent attachment. Dentist hasn't said anything yet, but still ........
I'm tempted to go cold turkey.

[Girly]

Me too, my dd (3) is the same, Should I take her dummy away before we master dry nights?

[Jaybee]

Same happened to me when ds was about 2.5 - dentist said she could tell that he used a dummy as his top teeth were starting to protrude - I went for the cold turkey approach (plus a bit of bribery). I picked a week when dh was away with work (he is more likely to give in) - Ds' friend had a goldfish and ds liked the idea of his 'own' pet, said friend had recently given up his dummy and I told him that he could have one too if he gave up his dummy like the dentist said he must - I persuaded him to agree to this (when he wasn't tired) and he put his own dummy in the bin. The first night was a nightmare - he cried for his dummy nearly all night (I spent the night in his bed with him), second night he cried for it when he first went to bed but once he settled he was fine but cried again a couple of times during the night if he woke, third night he was a bit unsettled when he first went to bed but was ok. Only night he played me up after then was when dh returned!! I was shattered (pg with dd and working fulltime) but it was worth it. Needless to say ds got his goldfish.
Another friend persuaded her dd to hang her dummies on the Christmas Tree for Santa - if you can wait that long that may be worth considering - however the thought of a tired child whining through Christmas day for their dummy seems too much to bear!!!
Good Luck

[Katherine]

Never had this sort of problem I'm afraid but I do have a book called "The last noo noo" which is all about a monster giving up dummies! At the end he plants on in the garden so he will have a noo noo tree just in case he changes his mind. I'm sure there will be other books on the subject which may help to introduce the idea. Think the faries at the bottom of the garden trick is a great idea.

[Clarinet60]

This is a bit weird for me, as prutruding teeth run in our family. I sucked my thumb, but my mum didn't and hers protrude slightly. I hope ds doesn't get a double whammy.

[Dixie]

well i recently got my ds (2.5 yrs)to give up his dummy...petty much same pattern as already said....he cried quite a bit the 1st night but by night 3 he was fine...many friends have said the same thing...it is best to go cold turkey..and your better off actually throwing the dummies...then your not tempted to give in..at one point when ds wanted his I just said they'd all gone & i couldn't find them...would he help me...we went through the cupboards & draws togeher and about 15 mins later he was ok...he said "mummy they've gone so can we do play dough" been 4 weeks now...and all is well. THought he may try & swipe he's new baby brothers but he desn't he jus says " they're for baby"....so hope theat makes you all feel like its a battle that can be won

[Mumma]

Hello - been reading for a while but not posted before! I have a three and a half year old son who still has a dummy and a noo noo (which is actually a muslin square!). I am having no joy at getting him to give up either at the moment although he will put his dummy in his pocket when he goes to nursery school and send the noo noo on to his Nana's for later (I work full time) with his baby brother! I am thinking of doing the Christmas Tree trick but am dreading it as he is well and truly addicted - sometimes sucks two at the same time just to rub it in! I think the noo noos will wear off in time as they are a bit bulky to carry round although actually often come in useful for spills etc. Any ideas welcome..............

[Clarinet60]

Good news and bad news.
Shopping in town today, he dropped his dummy in the street and, I kid you not, a passing, loose dog picked it up and ate it.

The end, sadly, of the dummy, accepted Ds - until we got home and he found another blighter under the sofa.

[melinda]

I had a look on the internet and the dental associations official guidelines seem to be that dummies aren't a problem for teeth until the second teeth come in - they certainly don't mention jaw problems. Are you sure your dentist isn't just anti-dummy rather that giving unbiased advice? Also, I can't see any point at all in taking away a child's harmless muslin square. I read about some research that said children who used comforters were actually less stressed as adults because they had learned effective ways to soothe and calm themselves. We all have rituals and things we love to have around ourselves and maybe we shouldn't be so worried about our children clinging to 'babyish' things?

[SueDonim]

ROFL, Droile! I wonder if it had indigestion???

[Clarinet60]

Yes SueDonim, and I wonder what its owner (lurking somewhere, surely) thought?
Melinda, I saw that research too, and I agree. It's really because of 'other people' that I cringe when we go out, plus the talking through the dummy (if teeth turn out not to be a problem).

[nona]

Hi, unfortunately,we are in the same boat, a dentist friend of ours told us the same thing. However, he also stressed not to beat ourselves up about it and that giving the dummy to Santa in exchange for a pressie was how he did it for both his children - he did say that dummies were easier to part with than thumbs. Our problem is our little man is only just two with great big beautiful beaver teeth which I desperately want to take care of only we are expecting our second child any day and I feel like he is going to need all the comforts he can get his hands on! I would love to hear how you get on - wish you the best of luck!!!!

[SoupDragon]

Droile - that dog will be on Vets in Practice next week. You'll be able to wave at the dummy onthe X-ray

[clucks]

Dummies are better than thumbs and the open bite caused by them will close up in most cases.

In fact, even thumbsuckers will have their open bite close up if they give up before puberty.

I have a dummy addict and keep it quiet from patients and am much nicer to them. Sugar is a much bigger problem.

[Clarinet60]

Thanks clucks, that's a relief. Should have given up my thumb earlier

[melinda]

Droile, I do know what you mean. I tend to be a bit aggressively defensive about it if you know what I mean because my baby loves his dummy and uses it when he feels stressed in strange situations. I believe it helps him so I feel quite cross about disapproving looks! He's a very happy and serene lad so I think it works for him. Goofy teeth run in our family so if he gets them I think it will be his genes, not his dummy, poor thing. he has excellent speech for his age, though.

[JandMsMum]

Hi, I must thank you all for your words of encouragement and advice. I am sorry, I havent written back sooner, life went manic for a while including the introduction of a new puppy .. lets hope he doesnt need a dummy!!! ... Since I opened this conversation I have managed to wean her off using it in the day time nearly completely ... so that's good. Nighttimes we are not even close. I like both the fairy and the F.Xmas idea. We have also come up with a plan. She is moving into her first bed just before Xmas and we thought we might put it in her room first, looking all pretty and grown up and, hopefully, she will ask to sleep in it - to which we will reply along the lines of ... yes, but only big girls who leave their dummies in their cot can sleep in a big bed ... or something like that!!!! ....Clucks - can I ask are you a dentist?, if yes ... could you explain a bit more about this open bite?
Thanks again everyone. Thank goodness for Mumsnet

[cerys]

DD1 was a dummy addict and was starting to annoy us by running round with it in and talking around it. However, DD2 arrived in June and we thought it would be cruel to take the dummy away at such an unsettling time. However, when DD2 was 1 week old, DD2 gave the dummy up with hardly any fuss. We let her hijack one of the baby's teddies and she carried him around for a while, but now she accepts that dummies are just for babies and she's a big girl.
I tried desperately not to give DD2 a dummy, but sometimes it will settle her when all else fails. Jill Murphy's "the last noo-noo" is a lovely book and DD1 loves looking at the pictures and counting all the dummies!
Could you substitute something for the dummy like we did with the new teddy? Good luck!

[cathncait]

Hi all
have been reading with interest about the dummy problems. I was wondering what you all think about my sit. My 3 1/2 month dd is a dummy addict and has just lately started waking up at all hours of the night crying for the dummy that has fallen out. We've decided to get rid of it since we've had to get up 6-10 times a night to 'plug it back in'. We've decided to go cold turkey and she has CRIED a lot and so have I. Its only been 1 night and it took over an hour for her to get to sleep. Anyone got any easier way? - I think I'm dreaming. :-)

[LiamsMum]

Cathncait, it's only been 1 night - it may take her a few nights to get used to being without it, so you may have to persevere with it for a bit longer. We used the controlled crying method when ds was a few months old and it worked very well, he soon learnt to fall asleep on his own and has he has slept well since. At 3 1/2 months though, your dd is still very young and I would be reluctant to take away the dummy completely if it brings her comfort. But I know what you're saying, I never gave my ds the dummy at night for that very reason - I didn't want to have to get up to him umpteen times a night to put it back in his mouth. So the only time he had it was for his daytime naps and for occasions when he wasn't feeling well or needed settling. As long as it comforts her and you restrict the times that you use it, I don't think it's too much of a problem. Good luck.

[KMG]

Hi Cathncait - she's very young to give it up? Why do you think she needs to? Is it just worries about problems for the future? DS1 gave up his dummy himself when he was about 4 months old - just suddenly wasn't interested anymore. (He only had it to go to sleep). DS2 didn't do this - he had it until he was about 20 months, (I think), but only in his cot. Inspired by someone on mumsnet, we went cold turkey, and it was much easier than I expected - he only cried the first night, and not for very long. I don't regret giving him a dummy, it made our lives easier, and weaning him off it was much quite simple.

If you do a search on the boards you'll find LOADS of stories about dummies, some of which may be more encouraging than others.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

[cathncait]

good news! dd is a really quick learner. We had about 4 times of cryng then she has gone to sleep really well. I am honestly amazed that it could happen so fast. thanks for the encouragement. :-)

[cathncait]

hi, me again. SInce my last message things are going good sometimes and not so good other times. Sorry, I don't meant to go on about it..but I'm worried that I am being cruel to my dd by taking away the dummy? She is getting used to it being gone and is more settled at night...but sometimes its hard to get her to sleep during the day. I imagine that she will get better as we go? I think if I give it to her some times then all the 'learning how to sleep without it' will be wasted? What does anyone else think? I guess I'm just looking for someone to tell me I'm doing the right thing. ?