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18 month hates EVERYONE

2 replies

namechanged31 · 11/11/2021 20:17

My little girls 18 month from around 6 month of age she began hysterically screaming if ANYONE spoke to her looked at her apart from me and her dad
A year later we now can't go to supermarket without a breakdown if someone talks to her like to the point she's sick she gets that worked up
No one can talk to her in buggy as she screams
No one can talk to me she screams
If we go to the park and a child comes over to play she screams until we leave
She's petrified of everyone
She's fine in park on her own it's as soon as someone else is near her
If she's walking and someone's coming up to her walking past she'll stare at the floor patting herself - she does this to tell herself she's okay and then she's back to normal
I can't see friends as she'll scream until we leave
We can't see grandparents as she screams - we see them once a week
I'm feeling so alone and don't know what to do
Baby classes she hates and goes hysterical and won't stop till we leave
Any ideas anyone please

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Lolalovesmarmite · 12/11/2021 06:28

That sounds incredibly tough and very isolating for you. I think it sounds well beyond the ‘normal’ stranger anxiety.

I think, in your shoes, I would try and very gradually desensitise her. Maybe start with one ‘extra’ person and try and gradually and gently increase her tolerance. Play with her with toys she really likes in a ‘safe’ space that you can control and have the person do something else that is interesting just in the periphery of her vision. Let them get gradually closer until the point where your daughter looks uncomfortable but not upset then have them move away again. Tell them not to look at her. The initial aim would be to get her progressively more comfortable with one person in her space without the pressure of that person looking at or speaking to her. Once she’s more comfortable with them being around you can gently build up to them playing next to her and maybe handing her a toy etc. It might take weeks to widen her ‘circle of trust’ to one extra person, but once you have you can build on it. It’ll also give you a bit of breathing space.

I know it’s really hard, but I would imagine that you probably get quite stressed or upset now by people approaching and her reaction. Try and stay calm and ‘light’, because she’ll pick up on your stress and associate it with people, causing a bit of a vicious circle.

I would consider visiting the GP, and taking videos with you to illustrate the extent of the issue. Did she have her 12 month development check with the health visitor? Could you speak to them? With both health visitor and GP, it really depends on how good your practice and area are on whether you get any support. Is she starting to talk and meeting other milestones?

When you are out with her, is she in a pushchair? Could you have her parent facing (if she isn’t already) and maybe even put the hood down and rain cover on so she feels ‘cocooned’ and safer. World facing pushchairs can feel very exposed to some children.

Claire123e · 11/09/2024 15:45

namechanged31 · 11/11/2021 20:17

My little girls 18 month from around 6 month of age she began hysterically screaming if ANYONE spoke to her looked at her apart from me and her dad
A year later we now can't go to supermarket without a breakdown if someone talks to her like to the point she's sick she gets that worked up
No one can talk to her in buggy as she screams
No one can talk to me she screams
If we go to the park and a child comes over to play she screams until we leave
She's petrified of everyone
She's fine in park on her own it's as soon as someone else is near her
If she's walking and someone's coming up to her walking past she'll stare at the floor patting herself - she does this to tell herself she's okay and then she's back to normal
I can't see friends as she'll scream until we leave
We can't see grandparents as she screams - we see them once a week
I'm feeling so alone and don't know what to do
Baby classes she hates and goes hysterical and won't stop till we leave
Any ideas anyone please

How’s the situation now ? I am on the same boat here and feeling very isolated

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