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How do I bring out the kind side of my son?

2 replies

november90 · 10/11/2021 00:15

Just that really.
He's 4 and he's a lovely boy. He's so much fun, loves to be cheeky and fun and loves to make others laugh.
I know he's a lovely boy but he can be really unkind and doesn't seem to care about what he says to others.
I don't want to expect more from him then I should fit his age, I know he's still young, but it really upsets me that he just isn't bothered about upsetting anyone else. Today at school in the morning he was shouting "I don't want to play with , I don't want to talk to him" and * just looked so upset. And home, my neice was round and he kept laughing at her drawings and said he didn't like them. I just feel so sad about this. I pay him compliments all the time, show him so much love and affection and between the two of us he does show it back to me in his own way but he can just be so unkind to others. I can tell me neice doesn't really enjoy being around him, and his school friend who was his little bestie didn't want to play with him today. I've tried talking to him about consequences, I've bought books about being kind but nothing seems to be slinging in. Any ideas at all?

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
FortunesFave · 10/11/2021 02:36

Are you pulling him up the moment he's being unkind? If you're not, he might not realise what he's doing is unkind.

If he says or does an unkind thing, you have to be fast...immediately say "That's unkind! We don't say that to our friends! Say sorry to Tom now!"

Every time he does it.

Kids forget at this age...they forget what they've done earlier and consequences need to be immediate.

november90 · 10/11/2021 07:35

Yes I always bring it up when he's unkind, always. I don't force him to apologise as my research around this has told me to encourage them to show they're sorry in their own way instead of forcing them to say a word which doesn't mean anything to them though :(

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