Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Is too much exposure to Disney princesses bad for a lttle girl?

264 replies

Shitemum · 13/12/2007 00:12

Trivial compared to some of the other threads in this topic, I know, but need to know if I should just indulge 4 yo DD1's princess phase or if I'm setting her up for a lifetime of waiting for her 'true love' to arrive on a white charger and whisk her off to 'happily ever after' (yeah, right).
Going to bed now but am genuinely interested in your replies!

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Astrophe · 14/12/2007 14:23

domesticgoddess, are you saying SAHMs are tiring!!!??? How dare you!

Anna8888 · 14/12/2007 14:26

Domesticgodless - oh sure. The media thinks that normal French women work and that only the Very Poor and Uneducated or the Mega Rich (ie abnormal) could possibly choose not to do so.

I was interviewed recently by a TV5 journalist about extended breastfeeding. I gave her my analysis of what the media were doing to discourage breastfeeding in France... it felt pretty good to get it off my chest

Astrophe · 14/12/2007 14:27

I see what you are saying anna, and to some extent I agree. I gave the book away didn't I? But I wouldn't censor to the point where I allow nothing I wouldn't choose into the house - eg, if DD were given a DP back pack for christmas (which, btw, she would love), I would let her keep it, although i WOULD NEVEr BUY THE THING MYSELF. (sorry for caps!)

I think as kds get older, it will become more important to have meaningful discussions and to teach them to be critical of pop culture, rather than censor it. The smaller they are, the more appropriate parental censorship is.

Anna8888 · 14/12/2007 14:36

Astrophe - I suppose if my daughter were given something she really cared about, even if I didn't think much of it, then I would let her keep it.

But when she gets given junk that she has no feelings here or there about, I prefer for it to disappear before it starts permeating her consciousness

Astrophe · 14/12/2007 14:44

absolutely anna. Christmas and birthdays are good for this, as they recieve so much they don't notice if one gift slips away

Anna8888 · 14/12/2007 14:50

... or you have a system where toys are kept in boxes and only one or two are allowed out a time... and some things are put away after the first outing just never to reappear

Bink · 14/12/2007 14:52

As we're busy on our discrete & individual hobby-horses today, can I just say that the formula "feminine and attractive" makes me bristle. (It's the "and", by the way - the conjunction, & therefore identification, of the two.)

Why does female attractiveness have to equate to "feminine"? What's wrong with a bit of androgyny? - eg Margaret Howell, Sophie Hicks, or what presumably Dido Twite grows up to be?

Anna8888 · 14/12/2007 15:02

Bink - it doesn't.

But why are so many successful career women frumps with bad hair?

The point is, we risk dissociating feminine attractiveness and brain-power if we deny our little girls their princess phases. And then those little girls grow up and think that to be feminine and attractive is somehow inferior and that superior women are careerist frumps.

Not good for feminism IMO.

motherinferior · 14/12/2007 15:13

What, and spending large amounts of your time, energy and money on looking 'feminine' is?

why the flying fandango should I bring my daughters up to think their self-worth depends on customising themselves to be attractive to men?

Anna8888 · 14/12/2007 15:20

MI - you should ensure that your daughters are attractive to themselves.

Little girls don't dress up as princesses to attract little boys. They dress up as princesses because they like the look of themselves that way.

Bink · 14/12/2007 15:24

I think your argument is of the "straw man" type Anna.

For it to fly, there would need to be an identifiable cultural pressure among young women (expressing itself along the lines of "I'd better not shave my legs or I won't be taken seriously") - and I mean such a pressure identifiable in real life, not in Feminist Backlash Let's Whip Up a Controversy & If We've Got Sexy Enough Soundbites People Won't Notice We're Not in the Real World literature.

I think the real life pressure on young women is fundamentally the other way - that you must shave your legs, yadayada, as well as having all the brain-power required, to get taken seriously.

motherinferior · 14/12/2007 15:27

Oh and as it happens my daughters are bloody gorgeous, thank you, and one of them is wearing a short red dress over different-red leggings today, and the other is wearing purple cords with a very long pink cardigan. They look distinctly boho-scruffy, and are extremely pleased with themselves.

Bink · 14/12/2007 15:29

I'm sorry - your post to MI is just silly. Nobody's trying to suggest little girls attempting to entice little boys, and to wilfully distort somebody's argument so's to dismiss it ...

You can do better.

Anna8888 · 14/12/2007 15:30

Bink - remember, I was just replying to custy (see the post further down).

I agree that, fortunately, times have moved on and women are allowed - indeed, are required, to be taken seriously - to be feminine and have brain power.

That wasn't always the case however - and there are lots of very frumpy 45+ type career women around to prove it.

I was at a very sad meeting the other day just crawling with examples.

Anna8888 · 14/12/2007 15:31

I think you're just rather cross (are you a frump?).

Bink · 14/12/2007 15:39

Anna - I think it is unfortunate, profoundly so, that there is cultural pressure on women (and consequently little girls, if we don't protect them) to be both beautiful (or well-groomed or whatever word you want to use) and brainy. Where, for instance, does that leave people who have some kind of physical obstacle to being conventionally well-turned-out?

One of the lovely things I found about turning 40 (funnily enough I am 45+) is how much, suddenly, character seemed to take over from looks as the core of someone's charm.

So - I think on this subject I so profoundly disagree with where-you-are-coming-from that I had better retire.

Anna8888 · 14/12/2007 15:42

Indeed, we disagree profoundly .

I love the culture of encouraging everyone to make the very best of themselves in every possible domain.

motherinferior · 14/12/2007 16:53

You say 'encouraged to make the very best of themselves' I say 'pushed to look feminine to prove they're Proper Women despite all that unfeminine brainy nonsense'.

MeAndMyMonkey · 14/12/2007 17:04

Oh I love Fairy Tales. And original Disney like Snow White. By the way, there is a fab exhibition of beautiful children's illustrations at Dulwich Picture gallery on now if anyone is interested. (Dulac - sp? - and the like).
And Richard Scarry was the best... sigh.

Re Fennel's post earlier, I adored Ballet Shoes and wanted to be Posy, didn't everyone? She was kind of annoying though, in retrospect. Actually Petrova was a bit of a fox. I am beyond myself with excitement about this new BBC production!
This is a great nostalgic thread

Anna8888 · 14/12/2007 17:52

MotherInferior - well, I just hope your daughters aren't being brought up under the illusion that looks don't count in life. Because life will be tough if they are.

welliemum · 15/12/2007 02:29

Just come back to this, and I'm now getting worried about Lowly Worm. That is very alarming. Who is this Goldbug interloper?

Oh, and clothes: dd1 favours swirly floral prints in combinations that make your eyes bleed. I hope she'll have the strength of character and confidence to dress like that for decades if she wants to.

francagoestohollywood · 15/12/2007 09:40

mmmm, it is mysterious, isn't it? It gets even more mysterious for me, as Curly worm has always been Zigo Zago in the Italian version. what about the little cat, what's his name? It's Sandrino in Italian.

francagoestohollywood · 15/12/2007 09:40

sorry Lowly worm.

OverMyDeadStuffedTurkey · 15/12/2007 10:03

There are some pretty good modern fairy tales around now, with strong assertive female role models. My favourite is Howl's Moving Castle, a great lead female role, and the handsome prince is a self obsessed suicidal wizard too scared to face his responsibilities. It's great!

batters · 15/12/2007 10:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.