What's going on here?

[DeedIDo]

DSGC is now 18 months old. Born by CS at 38 weeks after failed induction.

Haven't seen a GP since they regained their birth weight at about three weeks, all HV checks have been done over the phone. Has only seen Practice Nurse for vaccinations.

They cannot stand or walk unaided. They won't put their feet down so if you hold them up and go to put them on the floor, they hold their legs up land on their knees. They can 'walk' with a baby walker, (shuffling alternate feet with bent legs) but if you peel their hands off the handle and hold their hands, they just crumple, lean forwards and land on their knees again. Crawling is good - and fast!

They have one word that they use reliably in context. There are no words for mummy, daddy, grandad, cat, dog, car etc. They sleep less than 6 hours in any 24, despite BF and co-sleeping. No daytime naps. At a recent birthday party, they were the only child not facing the camera for photos.

It's a long time since I had my babies, but this all feels wrong to me when I see other children I know doing so much more at a younger age. DH has spoken to their DM, who says she is not concerned, but the NHS website seems to suggest otherwise.

Am I worrying unnecessarily? Has anyone else experienced this?

Good Morning,

I would suggest the following:

• If your child is in childcare then speak to the child key person, see if they have any worries about your child's development.
• Speak to the health visitor about your concerns
• I would speak to your GP if the above cannot be done!

Your GP may be able to explain the delayed development.

But remember that every child is unique and sometimes some children develop at slower paces compared to their peers!

I hope this helps!

Have a good day!

I agree that it sounds like there could be something going on, and if it were my child, I'd be asking for a HV and/or GP review. 18 months is late not to be properly weight-bearing on their legs (I'm guessing when the child uses the walker, they lean very heavily on the handle?), and about the threshold when walking starts to be considered late.

That's also little enough sleep that I'd have questions (although lack of naps by itself wouldn't be too concerning, if they were, say, doing 12-13 hours overnight).

Speech is hugely variable at this age, some are chatting away and some have no words – understanding what other people say and communicating via gestures are more important at this stage. Does DSGC point to show you what they want or to show you something they've seen (a dog, a bus, whatever they find interesting)? Do they seem to understand a fair amount of what's said to them day to day? (Get your shoes, bath time, let's go to the park, do you want apple or banana – that sort of thing.)

All that said, what you can do is very limited when it's not your child – I'm not sure there's much beyond being loving and supportive to both the child and their parents, and being a willing ear if they do have concerns. Is DSGC at nursery/a childminder, or do they attend any toddler groups?

I can't imagine how hard it is when it's not your child but you love them dearly

There could be one of two things going on.

Either the DParents are in complete denial.

Alternatively, they are worried abs aware and have been to the GP and are awaiting assessment but don't want to talk about it.

Either way, there's not a lot you can do

Does DSGC mean dear step grandchild?

Asking because it was my step mother who had concerns about my son.

We didn't have a good relationship so if she had voiced those concerns to me, they would have not been received well.

So the task was left to my dad. Who sat me down and listed out "his" concerns. Initially, I was in complete denial and argued that I thought he was fine. He asked me to speak to the health visitor anyway to put his mind at rest.

It was a lovely way to do it.

It took me a day or two, but I rang her.

Sure enough there were many an issue. I just had no clue because he was my first and absolutely perfect in my eyes.

I'm indebted to them both for pushing me, because now he is in school, formal diagnosis in hand, support in place, relevant therapies around, and two very clued up parents on how to best help him.

I'm just wondering why things haven't been flagged up on the ASQ checks? Have they been missed due to him being a lockdown baby? Is she in a state of denial and so completing the questionnaire optimistically?

Unfortunately, there is nothing you can do at this stage. Once I admitted that there were some problems I was constantly on the phone to my step mother asking what he should be doing that he wasn't etc. It helped me see what was going on, but it also gave me a deep sense of anxiety around him that's taken some time to improve.

@Hotpot33 , thank you for your post. That's it exactly.