Should I have a routine?

[blondie887]

Our baby is 2 weeks old and so far we have definitely been winging things.

He sleeps a lot in the day, when he wakes up he usually gives hungry signals so we feed him - sometimes breast, sometimes expressed milk, sometimes formula (I always planned to combi feed so me and partner can share duties) We just keep him with us until we go to bed at 11ish then take him with us upstairs.

We have no particular pattern to what we feed him or when, he doesn't sleep at set times, so everything is ad hoc and just responding to what we think he needs when it arises.

My question is - should we have more of a routine than this? Should we aim for set feeds at set times? Some friends talk about 'putting the baby down' I.e to bed in the evening. Should we be doing that instead of just keeping him where we are all the time?

Sounds like you're doing everything right to me!

Both of mine sort of fell into their own routines when they were around 4 months.

You are totally right to feed him when he wants it

Totally agree with PP and also don't worry that your baby isn't doing what your friends is - they are ALL different

Yeah no routine needed at all! You just sort of live in a strange little bubble for a while. Feed when they want feeding, let them sleep when they want to and just dont worry about the housework!
We did what you did and ended up falling into a routine without any pressure! You're doing great! X

Ok thanks - v reassuring! Feels like we are just living one hour to the next, no plans or structure.

From experience I would say it is more stressful trying to introduce a routine that the baby doesn't wasn't to stick to.

Different people will say different things but personally I think you're taking the right approach by just meeting his needs as and when at the moment. He will in all likelihood settle himself into a bit of a routine over the coming months. Personally we have avoided getting fixated on timings/routine but started using two principles at around 6 weeks to structure our day a bit with our now 10 week old:

Eat, awake, sleep, repeat
Wake windows

This means our days are now a bit more predictable but timings vary depending on when she wakes up/how long she naps for as we let her lead these. Hope that makes sense.

What are wake windows?

Someone has said to me that babies don't know the difference between day and night - ours is certainly quite nocturnal - and that we have to teach them which is which if we want to get any sleep.

Not sure how we go about teaching that though! We do put him down in his crib when we go to bed but he seems much less keen on sleeping then than he does in the day (when he'll happily nap for 3 hour stretches)

Someone has said to me that babies don't know the difference between day and night - ours is certainly quite nocturnal - and that we have to teach them which is which if we want to get any sleep.

Not sure how we go about teaching that though! We do put him down in his crib when we go to bed but he seems much less keen on sleeping then than he does in the day (when he'll happily nap for 3 hour stretches

Again perfectly normal and they don't usually start realising their is a difference between night and day until they are around six weeks. You can help it along though by getting him outside in the daylight twice a day

Wake windows give you some guidance for how long your baby should be awake inbetween naps. There is lots of info on Google but up to 2 months is about an hour, up to 4 months is 90 mins, and so on. The wake window slowly gets longer. The idea being if you follow this they don't get overtired.

In terms of night/day as pp said this is something they don't have a concept of to start with but you can help them by getting lots of daylight in the daytime (outside preferably). We also do day clothes and nighttime clothes to help her distinguish the difference. We don't really bother with a nighttime routine as such as her bedtime still varies but once she is 4 months or so I think we will look at starting one.

You are doing brilliantly and they do change rapidly. I found 6 weeks a real turning point from feeling like there was no structure or consistency to getting a bit of a handle on what she does/needs!