Really not coping with reflux baby

[Belle131]

Hi everyone, I'm a first time mum to a nearly 8 week old baby boy, and I'm really, really struggling. Since week 2 he has had problems with his digestion. He possets, seems nearly constantly in pain in between feeds, and struggles to do a dirty nappy although he goes about 9 times a day and the poo is soft. He is breastfed. During feeding he usually arches, pulls off the breast, cries, scratches me etc. He is putting on a lot of weight. So far I have tried the following

Spoke to several lactation consultants, successfully reduced oversupply of milk, this reduces the posseting but not the discomfort
Cranial osteopathy
Have been dairy and soy free for 3 weeks
Tilted the crib
Keep baby on me or my husband for naps, always upright for at least 30 mins after a feed (feeds are 30 mins long every 2 hours so not much time for our own sleep in-between if we do miraculously get him down)
Saw private pediatrician who prescribed omeprazole, he spits it out and chokes
Tried lanzoprazole, he took it but it made his stomach gurgle and he got even more upset about doing a poo, lots more wind
Now trying gaviscon, had one day where it was amazing and now it's worse than ever, couldn't put him down at all last 2 nights without grunting, writhing etc. He is crying most of the time he is awake.

I'm literally at my end. I don't know what else to try and feel like it will never get better, and it doesn't help that my friends babies have all started sleeping through and getting into routines/playing etc. I also hate medicating him and I'm not sure if everything I've described is just normal for a baby of his age and I should just be better with dealing with it

Has anyone got through this and can tell me there is hope??

Has anyone got through this and can tell me there is hope.

Yes, I have literally hallucinated with DS I was that tired. He's now a very relaxed teen and almost no trouble.

With him it was tongue tie. Do any of those symptoms sound familiar?

I just wanted to say that all of your friends babies are very unlikely to be in routines and sleeping through, even if it feels like it at times. It's a well known fact that about half of new parents lie about their baby's sleep. Even my very clingy DS started to fall into his own routine at around 4 months.

Some things that might help are co-sleeping, if you're not already. If you want him in a crib or cot, try sleeping with his sheets fit a couple of nights before you put them on so that they have the smell of you.

Try and take it in shifts if you can. DH used to take DS out for an hour in the evening so that I could get an hours sleep.

My Baby is Fussy!!* from Kellymom might be useful and these tips on coping with colic from Dr Sears might be useful as well

Thank you so much for your reply

I have tried co sleeping and unfortunately it doesn't make any difference to him, we also had him checked for tongue tie and apparently he doesn't have one, although the lactation consultant said he might have a slight one but that his latch was very good so not to worry about it unless I was in pain while feeding. I will try the tip with the sheets, but it seems it's mainly his discomfort which wakes him, he can be in a deep sleep when we put him down and wake up 5 mins later writhing. Reassuring to hear you are out the other side. Thank you for the links that's really helpful info x

Even if there's a slight TT, if he's suffering reflux type symptoms it's worth at least considering having it divided, especially if he's not sleeping

He does tick a lot of the boxes in that article. Do you know what the process is usually to get it checked...? The doctor didnt seem to know what to do with us when I mentioned it

Honestly it makes me quite mad sometimes how Parents can be treated over TT! If the Doctor didn't know they should have bloody well found out!

Sounds like you need a Tongue Tie Practitioner. Some are NHS and some charge.

Sorry about the rant but we were so, so let down by the HCPs with DS over his TT. Nobody even mentioned the possibility of having one.

Completely agree with all of the PP, your little person sounds exactly like my DD literally to the letter. Having her tongue tie snipped did helped but none of the various medications we tried really did anything. It was just a matter of time unfortunately, hang in there.

And please ignore what your friends babies are doing, they are all different and it really does not matter if yours is not in a routine or not sleeping through the night which btw I don't know any 8 week old babies who did that. I always just went by the maxim of if they are hungry feed them, if they are tired help them to nap or bedtime. They fall into their own routine, they really do and then they change it 😉

Mine was dairy and egg allergic so I never saw an improvement with dairy alone. Symptoms sound exactly the same. It's so so so tough so sending lots of support, you will get through this!

How have you both got in today @Belle131?

Thank you so much. We are really not having a good week and am feeling very low. I am arranging to get the tongue tie looked at but finding it hard to be hopeful. I forced myself to go and meet another new mum yesterday and although she has her own challenges I can't help but think again that my baby seems so much more difficult! It's hard not to compare and I just feel like I am not good at this at all. Sorry for the negativity, it feels very relentless at the moment and I have no where else to voice it! Trying to remind myself to take one day at a time. Am also considering whether to do a full elimination diet.....but not sure if that would impact my milk supply. Will do some research

Sorry to hear you’re having a bad time of this. I know you’re BF so may not wish to FF but we switched to an anti reflux formula (aptamil) for DS who was very refluxy and projectile vomiting almost every feed and it was a godsend. Meant we didn’t need to medicate him as the GP suggested this as a first port of call.
His feeds have been so so different in the last 2 months and rather than dread feeding him/ worry about feeding out of the house, it’s now a completely different experience for us both. There are a number of brands around that are anti reflux - it has a thickener in it that helps to keep it down. You can’t buy pre made so have to make each bottle up but this is infinitely better than the stress we had previously.

I really really feel for you.. having suffered badly with my lovely baby boy last year, we tried everything - I promise you it absolutely does get better! For me it got better when my boy was around 7 months old - I do know some people who’s babies grew out of the reflux/colic/fussy stage much earlier though.

I reached out to my health visitor for some support for me, I was struggling to cope day to day and they put me on a (virtual) group session with other mums who were struggling - this massively helped just to have adult conversation and to resonate with others going through something similar. Can you reach out to your health visitor for some extra support?

Things that helped reflux for my boy were: Lansoprazole prescribed by doc and Neocate (turns out he had an allergy).

Sending best wishes and lots of strength - this will pass I promise!

Thank you everyone, it's reassuring to hear I'm not alone. We are really up against it this week. He now seems to be having very loose smelly poos during every feed which is making him writhe and pull off even more, and I'm worried its the omperazole which has upset his stomach. Saw the doctor yesterday and will keep an eye on it. We haven't been able to get him down in his crib at all for days, my husband and me are so exhausted and disagreeing on what we should do. He wants me to space out feeds to see if he feeds better. He is not working at the moment but I'm absolutely terrified of when he goes back of how I will cope on even less sleep. I'm also so scared of my baby sleeping really badly past the reflux issues as we are getting him into the habit of sleeping on us.

Oh also Luckyme30 thank you for sharing, we spoke to the doctor yesterday about neocate to give to him instead of an expressed bottle to see if it makes a difference

Have you worn him in a sling? Around the house?
You will likely have to wait the reflux out but a sling could make that easier. Sounds like he is thriving (weight) so even though he cries all the time, he’s developing well.

It’s a shame Ranitidine is currently unavailable as it can help reflux without constipating the baby.

Sometimes I think it helps for the mum to be aknowledged. You sound like you have a really bloody hard baby with reflux and possible allergies (may be useful to cut out egg from diet). You are doing really well just to get up and brush your teeth everyday, trust me. Other mums will have easier babies and that sucks but you’ll get there with your baby and you’ll be a fantastic super experienced, ready for anything mum because of it!

I know that won’t make your baby stop screaming right now but hopefully helps morale a tiny bit. Also has your baby had 8 week jabs yet, the rotavirus element can give gi upset for a bit.

And yes, try the formula, you’ve bf him amazingly given the circumstances. Legend!