Does it sound like ASD/ADHD

[TyotyaKlava]

Hi,
My 7 years old DD has some behavioral issues, we’ve got an appointment next week with a community pediatrician. Just wanted to get an opinion here beforehand really.

1. She had a speech delay when she was younger, she started speaking when she was 3 and even then she couldn’t speak clearly until the age of 5.
2. She hardly has any friends, she’s year 2 and doesn’t really play with anyone in her class. When approached by a school friend who says hello she will just blank them. She will only wave back after I prompt her to respond. During play time she might interact with someone but easily gets distracted very shortly afterwards and moves away to play by herself.
3. She hardly responds to any adults talking to her (apart from the parents), when somebody talks to her she again just either stays quiet or when prompted to answer just says yes or no
4. She doesn’t talk much with parents, especially when we ask something she hardly listens and always seems to be in deep thoughts
5. She has major tantrums still, if something doesn’t go her way she will scream, collapse on the floor and it’s very hard to calm her down. I must admit I lack patience myself abd in this situations I normally threaten her to ‘no treats’ or no screen time. Shouting at her also happens unfortunately but with my own anxiety issues and her being so difficult it takes a toll 😢 example of tantrums: once we saw a fox in the back garden, If she missed it, that will be it, a major tantrum with leg kicking and collapsing and screaming 😬
6. Obsession with things, like she HAS to finish those Hama beads at afterschool club even if I’m there to pick her up. If her teachers say she has to go she will refuse and scream instead. Or she will refuse to go to town Centre only because she is scared that parking might expire. We normally park at the local leisure Centre and it has three hours free parking. Or her school has a walking challenge where every pupil can walk to school and at the end of each month they get a walking badge. We are going away in December and she’s going to miss the last day of the term and again ahe throws a major tantrum and says she doesn’t want to go on a holiday.
7. She dawdles a lot especially in morning times when she has to get ready. She will take ages in the bathroom playing with things, will not dress but read or play with toys. We have to follows her and keep reminding her to get ready
8. Academically she is very good and on top of her class, she reads a lot and likes maths and science. Teachers are not concerned.

Thanks if you read all of this and can you please help, does she have issues?? Thanks!

Honestly, it sounds exactly like my 5 year old son.

Every single last bit.

He is autistic. I had to fight and fight to get him diagnosed. He masks continuously.

I'm glad you have an appointment with the community paed. Just wondering, do you have any records of when she hit milestones. Was she late with anything apart from communication? Can you document her meltdowns?

@Hotpot33
Thanks for your reply.
I don’t have the exact record of my dd’s milestones but she is my first baby and I remember she hit pretty much all of them in time.
The only thing which made my anxiety worse is her feeding issues, she refused bottle and at the age of a few weeks she started to refuse breast. Every feed I had to put her to sleep and feed her whilst she was drowsy. She had a reflux so I thought it was due to that. Then when it was time to wean her she refused solid food. She was pretty much on breastmilk until she started nursery at the age of 12 months, that’s when she started to eat.
Her physical milestones were on time, she rolled over when she was four months, she sat up at six months and walked at 12 months.
Just wanted to add to one of the symptoms of adhd (or asd) - is unable to sit still. She literally can’t sit still whether it’s during meal time, whilst reading or at school. She constantly falls of her chair as she just doesn’t sit still and fidgets.
I just hope that paediatrician won’t fob me off and put down to my anxieties!

Hi,

Have a look at this themighty.com/2016/05/rebecca-burgess-comic-redesigns-the-autism-spectrum/

Also, have a look at this - about transitioning from one activity to another

You should ask the after-school club to prepare her for collection time - so its not a sudden shock when she is absorbed in something.
www.psychologytoday.com/ie/blog/autism-and-anxiety/201912/smoother-transitions-children-the-autism-spectrum?amp

I think its normal for many children of that age to dawdle and not be too concerned about getting ready on time in the morning.

Also, this sounds exactly like my son who was diagnosed with autism at age 5: “ During play time she might interact with someone but easily gets distracted very shortly afterwards and moves away to play by herself”. My doesn’t “stick” to a group of playing children. He will play as long as he is interested and then drifts off. I used to worry so much about that but he is 12 now and very happy.

I think i was concerned about him fitting into my idea of what a happy life should be - but now i let him get on with what makes him happy and it is less stressful that way.

He also used to have big tantrums - in piblic too! He has matured and the tantrums are very rare now, thankfully!

[quote TyotyaKlava]@Hotpot33
Thanks for your reply.
I don’t have the exact record of my dd’s milestones but she is my first baby and I remember she hit pretty much all of them in time.
The only thing which made my anxiety worse is her feeding issues, she refused bottle and at the age of a few weeks she started to refuse breast. Every feed I had to put her to sleep and feed her whilst she was drowsy. She had a reflux so I thought it was due to that. Then when it was time to wean her she refused solid food. She was pretty much on breastmilk until she started nursery at the age of 12 months, that’s when she started to eat.
Her physical milestones were on time, she rolled over when she was four months, she sat up at six months and walked at 12 months.
Just wanted to add to one of the symptoms of adhd (or asd) - is unable to sit still. She literally can’t sit still whether it’s during meal time, whilst reading or at school. She constantly falls of her chair as she just doesn’t sit still and fidgets.
I just hope that paediatrician won’t fob me off and put down to my anxieties![/quote]
Sorry only just seen your reply. How are you getting on? When is your paed appt?

There is a lot of of cross over for ADHD and autism. My son is the same with not being able to sit still. It's to do with issues with his vestibular and proprioception senses. We have an OT who is amazing with giving us tips on how to help him organise himself.

Some days when he is particularly dysregulated, I have a message from his teacher saying he has has to have some 1:1 time to help him to regulate because he has been rolling around the classroom floor etc.

I would ask for a direct referral from the paed to the OT for a sensory assessment. Or your school SENCO.

Hope everything is going OK.

Oh can I ask where in the UK u are?

@Hotpot33
Thanks for your reply. We had an appointment with paed last week. Based on what I told him, he said it sounded like high functioning autism (although apparently this term is outdated). The next step would be for them to send out questionnaires to school and home, then they will see us in two months time. He was honest and said it would be hard to diagnose her as she masks her symptoms outside of home environment. But teachers could see some of the traits such as lack of social contact. I’m in solihull, West Midlands

There is a great fv page called Autism Inclusivity ran by autistic adults with the sole purpose of teaching parents how to help their autistic children.

It's been life changing for our family. Join it if u can. But prepare yourself because they can be very blunt, but they are very passionate about getting it right for the next generation of autistics.

Maybe contact places like your local sendiass (should find the details on your local authority) and also ask them if there is a parent forum in your area. There 2 are both godsends xxx

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