@JessyMama hi and hugs. My LO is 3 now and he's doing reasonably well but is just now in the process of being diagnosed with ASD. We've had a few assessments and the general impression I'm getting is that he shows no cognitive concerns and is very smart, but his eye contact is very limited/fleeting and he often ignores what people say or seems not to hear/register, and quite a few other quirks that affect his ability to interact in social settings. So we're being told he needs support with social abilities. One of the things a psychologist asked us in the assessment was whether he talks to us only for his own purposes, or whether he sometimes just shows interest in us without actually wanting something. This surprised me but made me realise that he definitely doesn't show interest in us except where he is wanting something. He appears very people-oriented in that he always wants people to play with him, but it is definitely always related to him wanting things. He's not particularly curious about other people, how they feel, what they're doing, etc. just for the sake of it. I had been telling myself it was just because he was a little kid and they're all self-interested at this age, and also being a boy perhaps less interested in emotional matters, but I'm being told it's an ASD thing that will need some working on.
I'm still trying to understand what the ramifications of these things are - as in, will he grow out of it in time or be able to learn those things with a bit of extra support, or is he going to really struggle in relationships/interactions, etc. We've started early intervention recently and that's been quite a journey in itself with trying to find a therapeutic method that we are comfortable with, and a clinic that we feel happy with.
Send me a pm if you like and I can share more. One thing I absolutely know I would do if I could go back in time, is to look for diagnosis/support as soon as possible. I would go back and get all the tests done - vision, hearing, take him to a neurologist. I would find a place that knows about early intervention for very young children. I've heard of some places that are researching/trialling early intervention programs for kids under the age of 1 and the results are so promising, most kids are no longer showing signs of being on the spectrum after having that early therapy. I was initially afraid of therapy as I imagined it would be something miserable and harsh for the child, but it never is, it's just fun, play, happy stuff. Well, depending on the therapy model - but the ones that I've found interesting have all been very loving and warm ones - like childcare from a very engaged and caring adult who simultaneously entertains but also teaches and stimulates the child's mind in the ways that need special encouragement. My son is 3 and has just begun an intensive ESDM program, and I only wish he could have started this when he was 1 or 18 months. It makes me so sad that I knew for nearly 3 years that something was wrong, but never had any support to do anything about it. Even just knowing what I know about therapy now, I could have done many things at home, when LO was young, to alter the course of his development and put him in a better position than the one he's in now. At the same time, I'm told there is still a great deal that can be done for a child who starts intervention at age 3 and people reassure me that LO will be 'just fine', which I assume means he can go to mainstream schools and live a 'normal' life, whatever that means lol.
Anyway, send me a pm if you would like to talk more. There's a lot I don't know about ASD but I do have some experience by this point that I'd be happy to share in the hopes that it can help another mama go through a bit less struggle than I have.