Parents Eve tomorrow - 5 year old with suspected ASD! Help!

[bwcheck]

We have parents evening tomorrow after school. My 5 year old's reception and then year 1 teachers have said they suspect ASD.

I feel like I should walk in armed with questions ready to make everything right for him but in reality I'm sad and overwhelmed and prone to crying. I've cried in front of all his teachers so far.

I was diagnosed with ADHD last year and can see some similarities in his behaviours so maybe he has that too. I feel guilty and sad that his life won't be easy and just want to do the best thing for him. I feel like I've 'given him' ADHD but also my mum died suddenly when I was about 5 weeks pregnant which was hugely traumatic so I've always wondered about how that affected his development and I have a thyroid issue which can apparently cause developmental delays to unborn babies if undiagnosed (which it was then).

Has anybody got any good questions or things to ask/say to the teachers? They are all lovely and kind and want the best for him I want to work with them. My son is very hard work - so I feel bad that he makes their job harder which I know is stupid.

These things tend to run in families, ADHD, ASD, dyslexia, dyspraxia are all linked. We have dyslexia, dyspraxia and asd in our family. Try not to feel guilty, guilt is a wasted emotion it won't help you or him and please stop trying to work out who or what is to blame, it won't change anything and you'll never truly know. Read up on ADHD and ASD instead to help you understand yourself and him.

I would ask them if there's anything you could do at home to help and support him.

Ask if they can get someone in from SEND to observe him (this happened with my son and the lady was brilliant, her report also helped with his diagnosis).
Ask about an EHCP.

Have you started the ball rolling to get him assessed yet? If not I'd make an appointment with the GP asap afetr the parents evening as it can takes years to see someone.
Are you looking after yourself as well in all this? I wonder if some counselling would be really helpful and supportive for you?

Thank you - I needed that. I have been trying to see a GP for ages but want to speak to SENCO first which is all proving tricky.

I will be finding out about an EHCP too.

I appreciate your kind words!