Playing with a 14 month old

[Eggy]

Hi

DS is 14 months old and every time I try and sit down to play puzzles or building bricks with him, he gets bored after 10 minutes and walks off.

I'm not worried that he finds me boring (hopefully not), I'm just more concerned that I SHOULD be playing with him.

I must admit, sometimes it's great that he can play by himself so that I can get things done.

I do play rough and tumble with him but would like to do something more 'educational'.

Is there anyway I can keep his attention or am I asking too much of a 14 month old?

Eggy I would say about 10 minutes was what you'd expect at that age. My DS is now 20 months and loves the wooden puzzles but not so much at 14 months. The only thing that would occupy him for any longer was reading - either too him or him just looking through his books on his own.

Other things you could try are colouring/painting, play dough or "cooking". I tried to get DS involved in making pastry. Did the bread crumbs bit then sat down with the bowl and DS. I added the water and gave him a spoon to copy me mixing it together. He promptly and skillfully spooned up and fed himself a mouthful while I frantically tried to stop him. Undeterred he tried to do it again - obviously raw pastry tastes OK to him. Next time we are going to try chocolate crispy buns - more acceptable if he tucks into the ingredients

Eggy, I would say 10 minutes is pretty good. I think it probably depends greatly on the child's personality, but my ds is 23 mo. and will rarely spend 10 minutes at a time doing anything that he's allowed to do. He will quite happily spend 10 minutes leaping off tables chanting "mummy says no" but playing with puzzles....only in my dreams.

Also, it's good if they can spend time on their own playing independently, I think. I love it when I can just sit on the sofa and watch my ds playing his games and having a great time. All I need to do is make the occasional comment like "Wow, that's clever, you've built a great tall tower all by yourself ..."

I reckon that as long as we interact with them in all kinds of other ways, then it's fine to let them get on with it when they're playing. Anyway, they're pretty good at letting us know when they want us to join in - "Mummy come and sit next to me and fix the tunnel" etc etc etc

Tx for the replies.

I'll enjoy the peace for now before he starts demanding my attention!

Eggy, remember trying to entertain ds at that age because I thought I should. As I cartwheeled round the room (not really, but dramatic play) he looked completely bored and, looking back, I could have been getting on with reading a book, calling a friend, having a bath, cooking, whatever. Make the most of it!

My dd (14mo) seems to enjoy bringing me things, walking away,coming back, taking the things off me, walking away, coming back, giving me things - and so on.

She'll often bring me a book but when I try to read to her, she starts turning the pages and then "reads" to me in a very non-sensical way but quite musical!

I agree with the others - I think 10 minutes on each thing is about right. dd will play with something and then start with something else until my living room is covered with toys.

I seem to remember at that age dd was far more interested in objects - eg wooden spoon, remote control etc than actual toys. come to think of it, she is now!

I read something on this in Penelope Leach. Apparently toddlers orientate themselves by where their mum is - this gives them the freedom to go off and roam. But if Mum moves, this disorientates them, and they then can't move independently but just cry until you stay still again. This is an explanation for why when you try to leave the park, your toddler suddenly can't walk with you and has to go in the buggy. So, the fact that he gets up and wanders off to do something means he has got your position set (if you know what I mean) and can now go off on his own. Not sure if this is just b***ks but interested to see if other people think this is true. Also I find that if DS (11mths) is unhappy he is much much more clingy and wants me to play with him, otherwise when he is happy he will play independently for quite a while.

I don't believe the Penelope Leach thing.
My tots either followed happily or ran off gleefully!

I'm not sure - I think it sounds interesting (the P Leach theory). I will observe my DS (20 mo) and see what I think...

I don't know about "when you try to leave the park, your toddler suddenly can't walk with you and has to go in the buggy" - mine (at 13 months!) won't go in the buggy now without coercion and insists on walking everywhere. But then he also knows where the park is (just around the corner from us admitedly) and is quite happy to set off there on his own if we're outside or leave the door open and take our eyes off him for a second.

Penelope Leach's daughter works full time (i know her) - so God knows who her kiddies follow.

Mabs - am I missing the point? Where does Penelope Leach's daughter (and her working habits) come in to this? Am I being dim?

Eggy, our number one toy at this age has to be a tea set - we've got a great one from ELC. Great for imaginary play, and for ds to practise eating with spoon, without the food there to make a mess of! My ds spends HOURS with it, making pots of tea, feeding me imaginary meals, having little tea parties for teddy.

Musica

Funnily enough we were thinking of getting him a tea set for Christmas.Will make an advanced purchase.

I feel a lot happier now, as I have found out that at this stage most children play solitary anyway, so am relieved to discover that DS is not strange or enigmatic (although being enigmatic in later life might be quite a lady-puller, tee-hee)!

Eggy, your DS sounds exactly like my dd, I would not worry too much. As someone else said, she likes to bring things to me, or get me to do things she can't manage (llike open a box for her), but then she likes to explore things by herself. Occasionally she'll point to pictures on abook and I will tell her what's in it, but does not last more than a couple of minutes (she's 17 months by the way).

I know my niece when much younger could spend half an hour on a book, or looking at photographs, but I guess the're all different.

Don't worry about doing educational play, keep trying, but if he's not interested, kids are stimulated in different ways, it does not mean that he's missing out on something.

I used to have the same worry, but I've decided to let dd take the lead, I might propose a game or a song but if she doesn't want to join, fine I'll enjoy my break while it lasts!!!!

Oh, I'm glad to know I'm not being a bad ma if I let him play by himself while I watch the previous night's Holby City! (In the same room, BTW - I'm not that remiss!)

You all sound very lucky- my dd is nearly three and won't play by herself for more than 5 mins- very draining after the 6th puzzle of the day!